What do you think about dating sites?

1. 60

   seohowtoposted 15 years ago

   Just curious, what do you guys think about dating services? Would you use one if you are looking for serious daters or just jump into social sites to make connections?

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2. 73

   thranaxposted 15 years ago

   Never needed to use one
   
   But if I had to I would probably. Would have to be very desperate though.

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3. 60

   seohowtoposted 15 years ago

   I personally don't believe in any "exact" matching systems, and I am just curious how these sites survive these days, when everyone can easily (AND FOR FREE)  join facebook, myspace and other sites to find The One

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4. 86

   Marisa Wrightposted 15 years ago

   I met my husband through a dating site.   I don't know how old you are, but I can tell you that for older people, they are a Godsend.
   
   When you get over 40 and find yourself single, it can be very hard to meet someone.  All your friends are married so there's no one to go out with socially.  Even if you do have a single friend, there's nowhere to go!  Bars and nightclubs seem to be full of twelve-year-olds and there certainly aren't any men your age there. 
   
   You try evening classes, but it's not like the old days, when people lingered after class for a chat or even went somewhere for a drink or a coffee.  Everyone dashes in at the last minute still reading their Blackberry, then rushes home after class because they have a long commute or they've got to be up early in the morning.  So you never get a chance to get to know any of your classmates.
   
   These days, most of us don't have an extended family or a huge circle of friends, so the chance of meeting someone through a friend of a relative is small.    Our only remaining hope is to meet someone through work - or dating sites.
   
   I found an unexpected bonus in meeting someone through a dating site.  I'm one of those women who has made a habit of hooking up with the wrong kind of guy, because what I thought I wanted wasn't what I really wanted.  I was attracted to my husband's profile on the dating site because of the wry way he wrote (so I knew he was intelligent and articulate) and by his interests (which I knew were compatible).  But he's very shy so I would never have got to know him well enough if we'd met in a bar.
   
   A paid dating site is also slightly safer than MySpace, Facebook etc because you have to use a credit card to be a member, so the site has some trace of who you are.  To me, paying is also an indication that you're serious.

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5. 81

   SweetiePieposted 15 years ago

   I tried a few and the matching was never exact because people usually lied in my experience.  I had one year long relationship result from a dating site, but the funny thing is I had already known this guy from high school and recognized him in his profile.  Some people have had success with them, but I have heard horror stories and I had some very odd experiences with these too.  Also, many people use dating sites as a way to have a plentiful supply of dates.  Free dating sites are not bad because many people do meet on Myspace and plentyoffish.com.  Actually I met two men on Myspace and I am still friends with one of them at this point, so I would not say free sites are not any less safe than paid ones.  I actually met more weirdos on the paid sites such as match.com and Christiansingles.

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6. 86

   Marisa Wrightposted 15 years ago

   My feeling is that people can lie when you meet face to face, too, so what's the difference?
   
   In my case, I had the choice to meet no one, or to get on dating sites and meet people.  If some of those people weren't a good match, it really didn't matter - it got me out of the house and socialising. 
   
   I never wasted time on emailing, I always arranged to meet right off the bat - always for a cup of coffee in a neutral public place, so I wasn't taking any risks.  That way, I found out immediately if he'd posted an ancient picture or lied about his age, so all I had lost was an hour of my time.
   
   My view is, if I was buying a house, I'd be prepared to sort through a few dozen lemons before I found the right one, so why should I imagine I can pick up a life partner without sorting through a few no-hopers?

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7. 81

   SweetiePieposted 15 years ago

   I agree online dating is good for many people, it just did not work in my case.  Also, I think there is a big difference between online dating in Australia and the US because there is a bigger pool of creeps on these services here.

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8. 60

   seohowtoposted 15 years ago

   Thank you, girls! I now have a clearer picture why these sites are still very profitable. I guess it all depends on a situation. I am not going to use any dating service, this was rather a "business" question than a personal one. I like to analyze the current market and see what are the trends and dating industry seemed to me "selling the air".

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9. 76

   Shadesbreathposted 15 years ago

   I can't see how they could be a bad thing.  I mean, I wouldn't put all my eggs in one basket if I was looking, but I wouldn't rule options out either.  Cast a wide net and see who you can meet.  I'd throw in some more cliches but I'm too tired.  LOL. 
   
   I think these sites are probably hardest on women though. I've talke to a few who use them (older women) and the complaint is always the same: the guys seem to flock to the pretty picture rather than what wit was there.  Guys are notoriously visual.  I think for women to make them work (as was mentioned with the "shy" husband above) they have to take an assertive role.

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   1. 86

      Marisa Wrightposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      I agree.  So many women are stuck with the old idea that "men must make the first move" and you're right, men will always be sucked in by the pretty picture. I started out sending "kisses" (the equivalent of a "poke" on Facebook) and got nowhere.  The trouble was, I'd been honest about my age and all men think they want a 35-year-old, even if they're pushing 50 themselves!
      
      That got me so annoyed that the next time, I paid to send an email to a guy, giving a detailed response to his profile.  He had been getting disillusioned with the site and said to me that if I'd sent a "kiss", he probably wouldn't have bothered replying. But it was so refreshing to get an email from a woman, he just had to follow it up.  Result - wedding bells!

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      1. 67

         gjcodyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I definitely have to agree with you guys about using the dating services.  I have two friends that met people online and one is living in Flordia now and has been married for many years and is very happy ...and the other has learned a lot about just getting out there and dating.  After all, it is an art....just like an interview. If you never do it and only once in a while with someone you know ...how can you know what you want and don't want. 
         
         So I vote for being careful and enjoying and exploring all options!

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         1. 86

            Marisa Wrightposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Absolutely, GJ.   That's why online dating is so valuable, especially for men and women who've just emerged from a long marriage.  They've forgotten how to date, and anyway, it's a whole different ball game these days.  You have to learn how to relate to people, how to behave when meeting a new man, etc.   It does take time, so meeting a few losers isn't failure - it's practice!

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10. 68

    Just AKposted 15 years ago

    I'd like to hop in on this topic.  I feel that dating services are a great opportunity for people to find potential dates, no matter the outcome.
    
    Two of my friends Jake and Will, both joined online dating services out of desperation, and both had success, although in different ways.  They are both great guys: funny, smart, college graduates, but never had much luck with girls.  The dating service allowed them to test the waters so to speak.  Like when learning to swim, some people jump right in (Or sometimes are thrown in) while others need some coaxing.  Once they tried it out at their own pace and put themselves out there, their outlook on dating changed.  Jake met a girl online in his hometown and they are still dating, and Will the other got up the courage to pursue a girl he knew.
    
    I'm definitely for them and loving reading stories when people have success using them, however it still depends on the person.  It's not for everyone, but when the choices are few and the situation is dire, they can be a great place.

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11. 60

    seohowtoposted 15 years ago

    Thank you, JustAK!

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12. 59

    sherwinboyposted 15 years ago

    Apparently, I'm not 16, so I've never used one.

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    1. 81

       SweetiePieposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Sherwin, I do not mean to tell you what to do, but do your parents know you are posting on Hubpages?  People who post on here are supposed to be over 18 I believe.  You should ask your parents if this is okay.

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13. 60

    seohowtoposted 15 years ago

    SweetiePie, he's gonna be a good hubber:) - he is honest and does not post any spam:). Have you read his hubs? They are great! I have always considered Hubpages is a safe community with no adult or drug related topics, so he is in the right place. How did he find this place? - that's the question that I would ask him as a marketer:). I know that there are smart 16 y.o. (and up) kids that are making real money online, he might be the one!

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    1. 59

       sherwinboyposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Exactly.

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14. 60

    seohowtoposted 15 years ago

    Hey, Sherwin, tell us more about yourself!

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15. 76

    Shadesbreathposted 15 years ago

    As innocuous as I know that question was... I think he shouldn't tell us anymore about himself.  As a parent, I know I really don't want anything about my underage children out there on the Internet at all.  Not everyone with access to the info will have genuine curiosity at heart.   At least not the good kind of genuine curiosity anyway.

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16. 60

    seohowtoposted 15 years ago

    I wasn't asking for his home address::)). The basic information that we all include in our profiles would be enough...

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