Don't know if this is the appropriate place to put this, Team HP, move it to wherever it needs to go, but last night my dear friend and fellow hubber Tess45's son ended his life. She, as you can imagine is devastated. Please send warm thoughts her way. I'm sure they'll be appreciated. Thanks.
Thanks for letting us know Diy, our thoughts go out to Tess.
Thanks, Brian, I'm sure she would appreciate that.
Omg, that's so terrible. I'm sorry to hear that happened. I hope she's feeling okay, and please be sure to send her my sincerest regards and best wishes.
My thoughts and prayers are with Tess and her family.
That is so sad DIY, thanks for letting us know and our sympathy and prayers are with her and her family
My thoughts and sympathies are with Tess. Such an action is very, very difficult thing for remaining family and friends.
Heading there right after work to take food and well wishes. My heart breaks for her.
i am so sorry, what pain she must be in- prayers and good thoughts for her
Thanks for posting this (definately the right place). This kind of news puts all our Panda woes into perspective. Best wishes and prayers to you, Tess45 and her family.
When one hubber hurts we all hurt.
Please give Tess45 a big group hug from the HP community as well as the individuals (including me!) posting here.
Losing a child is every parent's nightmare.
Losing anyone to suicide is devestating.
Double whammy here. Soooo sorry for Tess.
If it helps even a teeny tiny bit, he was in excruciating pain. He is out of pain now (very small consolation, I know).
Please keep us posted, DIYWP.
Thanks.
MM
This is so sad. I'm praying for you Tess. May God help you understand and heal.
Just left from visiting Tess and her husband, Ed. Think they are still in a bit of shock. Just a heart wrenching situation. They had just had a cook-out at his house, he was in good spirits and now this...can't even begin to get my mind wrapped around it. Just trying to help where I can. I think there's a long road ahead. 20 years old. The words I want to say would get me banned!
"Heart wrenching" is such an apt description. I send my love and prayers along with others.
My husband's family recently experienced a similar loss (a cousin). Over time, it may be possible for the family to understand - there can be many different reasons behind such a tragedy - but surely the shock right now is too raw.
Thank you for being a good friend to them.
Although I've never suffered such a loss, I've known others that have - my wife's cousin took his life at about 20 years old and his mother later basically did the same thing when she refused cancer treatment.
The pain, the shock and disbelief are all beyond description. Tess and family will likely blame themselves, playing the "what if" game in a desperate struggle for understanding.
I know you are (you said so!), but help them DIY. Help them any way you can. And help yourself as well - you, too, will need it. Talk to your family and friends. Come back to HP and keep us posted. Neither you nor Tess and family are alone - reach out and you will find lots of help and understanding.
No way to understand such unbearable pain or loss, may God grant them some solace.
Thanks to all for your wonderful posts here. Can't wait to share them with Tess when she's feeling better
I can't even imagine it!! The pain must be unbearable, I only hope she knows that she couldn't really have done anything to prevent it! Definitely my prayers and heart go out to Tess and her family. May God give her the strength to go on!!
I did talk to her about that last night. I think the first thing that goes through people's minds is self-blame, but I truly think she had done everything in her power as a mother that she possibly could have done.
Although I am a newbie my heart, prayers and peace for all involved goes out to the family and friends. May God be with all of those suffering as they learn to cope with the lost and have the strength to overcome. GOD BLESS
Burying one of my kids is the worst I can imagine. Thinking of this kid's parents from here on the other side of the word.
Tess and her husband drove to her parents' house a few states away to tell them the sad news. They didn't want to break it to them over the phone. They'll be returning and mass will be read on Friday with a genuine Irish wake and crossing over ceremony at her house Friday. In the middle of all of this, I have a wedding rehearsal on Friday, a rehearsal dinner, and a wedding Saturday. Hard to get happy in the middle of something so sad.
My condolences and best wishes to the family and all those left behind to grieve.
Feeling very helpless now. How do you help someone through this kind of grief...I don't know...
Are there some support groups you can gently help lead them to? Or a counselor who specializes in this kind of grief situation? Are other friends stepping in to help too?
As much as you want to, you can't do it all yourself. You have been a wonderful friend and will continue to be one. At the same time, you do have other responsibilities and you need to have some emotional reserves available for them.
I hope you are giving yourself permission to remind yourself that - for now - you have done all you can for them (at this time), that it is allowed for you to take care of this weekend's work (at this time), and that other friends can sit with and mourn with Tess and her husband (at this time). If necessary, pull in some extra help - for yourself - for the events you had previously committed to, so that you can give your attention wherever you feel it is most needed right now.
This will be a long process for them - grieving, coping, coming to grips with the tragedy. And it will probably not be an evenly-paced process. You may want to think of the help you provide as being one leg of a relay race that is a marathon. The baton will come back to you, but it will be best if you don't try to carry it all by yourself the entire time.
great advice aficionada I can't add anything more:)
Thank you, cindi h. I'm sure DIY also is herself in need of thoughts and prayers, since she is so close to the grieving family.
You're right, Aficionada, thanks for giving me a different perspective on this. I have a couple of helpers lined up for tomorrow to help with the wedding stuff, gonna hurry and get that done and then attend the memorial, if I can, then conduct the wedding rehearsal. I may have to skip the rehearsal dinner, so I can attend the wake. Fortunately, because Tess is such a wonderful person, she has many great friends who are stepping up to the plate and I don't feel so torn now. But I do wish I could do more for her.
I realized when I saw her the first day after it happened I must've (finally!) reached adulthood, because while I was hugging her, I was thinking how much I wish I could've just taken that pain from her. I'd rather take a bullet then to see her in this kind of pain.
I am very sorry about the loss of yout friend's son. I have Tess in the family in my prayers.
I am so sorry for her.
I never know what to say when something like this happens.
I just read this thread:
I am so sorry to hear of Tess's pain and ongoing grief.
I trust she finds love and courage to support her durng this time.
May her son rest in peace
by Thomas Silvia 13 years ago
carrie450 is a hubber here on Hubpages, she is now fighting for her life, her cancer has now spread to her brain and her doctors don't think she will last the rest of this month, she has not eating in days.Please keep her in your prayers. You can check out her profile here:...
by TheGlassSpider 14 years ago
In what is absolutely the LAST thing I and what family I have left need to hear at this point in time - my father is back in the hospital with sepsis. He's been fighting an infection in the bones of his foot for ten years now, he is severely diabetic...and they're finally going to amputate his...
by tlpoague 11 years ago
I am at a loss for words at the moment, trying to think how I could break the news about the death of fellow hubber challks from a tragic car accident that happened last night. His wife, momster, (my sister) is in ICU at the moment from. I wanted to pass the word along to my fellow hubbers here....
by Holle Abee 12 years ago
Earlier this evening, my daughter went to the ER because she was having terrible stomach cramps. When I arrived, she was in a hospital bed holding a dead baby. It was a perfectly formed, beautiful baby girl, about 10 inches long. I didn't even know she was pregnant. We're all heartbroken. I can't...
by Linda Lum 12 months ago
I'm sorry to report that our friend Pamela Oglesby (Pamela99) is in hospice care. I heard from one of her sons yesterday.
by LongTimeMother 10 years ago
I respect the work of many hubbers, but at the very top of my list is 'peeples'. I am a great fan of this extraordinary woman and when you go to her profile page you will see why. Peeples is now homeless. Follow this link to her story. http://peeples.hubpages.com/hub/A-Real- … melessness and...
Copyright © 2025 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2025 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |