Please send your thoughts and prayers.

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   habeeposted 11 years ago

   Earlier this evening, my daughter went to the ER because she was having terrible stomach cramps. When I arrived, she was in a hospital bed holding a dead baby. It was a perfectly formed, beautiful baby girl, about 10 inches long. I didn't even know she was pregnant. We're all heartbroken. I can't believe it hurts this bad to lose a child I didn't even know. The dr. said the baby died because the placenta became detached.

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      bBereanposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Habee, my wife and I experienced the same loss.   It has been many, many years and I remember it like it was yesterday.  You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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      Hyphenbirdposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry is such an inadequate word at times like this. My thoughts, prayers and heart are with you and your family. Bless you all.

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      Onusonusposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to hear that. My condolences.

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      Jamie Brockposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I'm so sorry to hear this. Will be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers.

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      Sarra Garrettposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Dearest Habee: I am so sorry to hear this news, how devastating this is for you your daughter and entire family.  My heart goes out to you all and I am sending my prayers as well.  I too lost a daughter in the same manner and it's something that you just never get over.  I had named her 'Sarra'.  She is in my heart and on my mind everyday.

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         Jean Bakulaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Dear Habee,
         How is your daughter doing? I know obviously her emotions must be all over the place, because of this awful experience, and she will have to deal with the hormone changes too. But is she OK physically? Was she hurt by the complications of having the baby at an unexpected time? Or was she even aware she was pregnant? I know women who have those pregnancies in their fallopian tubes, ectopic, is that the word? It can be dangerous, though from what you said she was sitting when you arrived at the hospital, so it sounds like she's strong. I can't stand it when people are having a terrible time and people tell them to "be strong," because what else is there you can do? But later on your family can find a way to honor this little girl. I believe we choose our mission before we are born, and maybe her soul changed it's mind. But whatever your beliefs, I hope you find comfort and recovery. I'm glad your fellow hubbers were here late last night. Why do bad things always happen in the middle of the night? You take care of yourself too, OK?  XXXOOO

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            habeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

            Hi, Jean. Shannon and Justin are doing better than I expected. In all the confusion and shock last night, we thought the baby wrapped in the blanket was a girl, but later Shan discovered it was a boy.
            
            I was worried that Shannon wouldn't let the baby go - literally - that she wouldn't stop holding him. She's been in touch with a local funeral home, however, and has made arrangements with them. The local cemetery where most of our deceased family members are buried has a special section called "Babyland," and the baby will be placed there. Shan and Justin will give him a name, too. I think this will give them some closure.
            
            You know, this is probably my favorite part of being a hubber. Whenever I've come to the forums with my troubles, I've always been lovingly supported.
            
            
            

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      Phyllis Doyleposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Dear Habee, my prayers go out to you, your daughter and family. This is a heartbreaking experience to go through and the shock must have been a stunning blow to you. My thoughts are with you and I pray for healing for all. Hugs.

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      klarawieckposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      It must be a horrible thing to experience. I'm praying for all of you to find the strength to look past this and move on to better times.

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         habeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you, Klara - and everyone else who has offered support.

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      plastic0cowposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      I am so sorry to hear this. Your family is in my thoughts...  <3
      ~*sending hugs your way*~

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      writer45posted 11 years agoin reply to this

      My thoughts and prayers go out to your daughter, you and your families

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       sholland10posted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Oh My, Habee, my thoughts and prayers are going out to you and your family.  I cannot imagine what your daughter is going through right now. 
       Take Care!
       Susan

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   writingloverposted 11 years ago

   Hi. I send you and your family my prayers. I am so sorry for the loss.

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   PurvisBobbi44posted 11 years ago

   You and your daughter have my prayers. It hurts me anytime I hear of this happening. Bless you and your family.
   
   Bobbi Purvis

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   gmwilliamsposted 11 years ago

   Habee, this is so sad.  I am crying now as I hear this.   May your precious daughter heal from this and pray that there will be more children in the future.

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   snakeslaneposted 11 years ago

   Habee, I am so sorry for your loss, in a situation of not knowing beforehand this must be very difficult to come to terms with. I hope your daughter is OK, very sad time for your family, healing thoughts are heading your way.

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   tirelesstravelerposted 11 years ago

   .  I am so sorry. Love and Prayers to all your family.  Thanks for giving us the opportunity to support you.

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   jansharesposted 11 years ago

   Oh Habee, so sorry to hear this awful news. What a shock this must have been. I'm sure you're still somewhat numb from the shock. I offer sincere condolences to you, your daughter, and all other family and friends who are touched by this loss. I will certainly pray for you. God bless the little one's soul.

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   Pearldiverposted 11 years ago

   So sorry to hear about your loss Hollie.... I know it is no compensation, but life is so fragile and not always in our hands... best wishes from DownUnder..

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   Kangaroo_Jaseposted 11 years ago

   Holle,
   
   I lost my son in the same circumstances. I am very, very sorry to hear this news. Please accept my sincere concolences. Wishing you peace as you grieve this loss.
   
   Jason.

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    habeeposted 11 years ago

    I'm sorry, guys. I really felt the need to share this with my hub pals. I couldn't get in touch with my other 2 daughters or my best friends. It's after midnight here.
    
    Yes, I was in total shock. When she told me she was going to the ER, I thought she had a nasty virus or appendicitis. My daughter already has four healthy kids, and she and her husband weren't planning on another one. But that doesn't matter when you find out you're pregnant. It's your baby, and you want it and love it. My daughters have had miscarriages before, and they didn't upset me nearly this much. I guess this was worse because the baby was more developed and because I saw it. It looked like a baby - not like a fetus. She had eyelids and perfect little features. I'm really worried about my daughter. She's a wonderful mother. I hope she can let the baby go.

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       rmcrayneposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Holle I'm so sorry the new year started off with such devastation for your family.  Please keep the lines of communication open, and consider professional counseling if warranted.  I have encountered many who had to deal with unresolved grief issues, many years later.  Sending healing energy your way.

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    Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

    Adding my love and prayers to the HP chorus, Habee.
    We love you and are always here to listen and support you, as you support your daughter.
    
    God bless all of you.
    MM

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    wildernessposted 11 years ago

    So sorry to hear of this, habee.  Hold your daughter, and let her hold you.  Support each other in this time and you will both emerge whole once again. 
    
    My sincere condolences to you and yours; my thoughts are with you.  *Hugs* from afar.

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       Jean Bakulaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Habee,
       I am so very sorry to hear of your terrible loss. What a shock, especially since you were not aware of the pregnancy. There really are no words. Try to be gentle with yourself, and take time to grieve. Listen to your daughter. Don't listen to rude people who do not understand everyone grieves on their own timetable. My thougts and prayers are with you, and I am sending healing light your way. I have a friend who miscarried in her 4th month over 25 yrs. ago, and she still cries. That's OK too. Love, Jean

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    Paul Kuehnposted 11 years ago

    I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your daughter's baby.  May God comfort you and your daughter at this saddest hour.

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       dhannyyaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       sorry to hear the matter, dear..my prayers are with you

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    tsmogposted 11 years ago

    Prayers are offered to you, Habee, and family. God's grace be upon all . . .
    
    tim

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    Patty Inglish, MSposted 11 years ago

    I am very sorry to hear this tragedy - you all lost a real person out of your lives, even though you had never met her yourself before seeing her suddenly at the hospital. My prayers are for your comfort and peace in this and that you find some tribute for the baby that will make a permanent remembrance. I will be thinking of your family for a long time.

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    RoboViewposted 11 years ago

    So sorry for your loss habee can not even imagine what it would be like to loss a child my prayers are with you and your family may the lord guide you through this time of grief and sorrow

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    Sunnie Dayposted 11 years ago

    I am so sorry for your family's loss. May God cover you with his love.

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    katkinposted 11 years ago

    Habee, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers at this sad time. Your daughter will need your love and support, my heart goes out to her. May god bless you.

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    slackermomposted 11 years ago

    I'm very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family. Bless you all.
    
    Lisa

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    wetnosedogsposted 11 years ago

    Habee,
    I am so sorry to hear this. Prayers for you and yours.
    God will give you and your daughter the strength to get through this.
    Hugs and Prayers.

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    habeeposted 11 years ago

    Thanks to all of you. You've lifted me up.

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    Peanutritiousposted 11 years ago

    Habee, this has moved me to tears, what a tragic thing to happen. Sending you and your daughter love and strength.

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    Simone Smithposted 11 years ago

    I am so terribly sorry for what happened, habee. I can't imagine how this must feel. I wish all the best for you and your family.

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    SimeyCposted 11 years ago

    Habee, I know words cannot console you enough - just know you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers....

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    Aficionadaposted 11 years ago

    Oh, Habee, I am so sorry to hear of this, and I know it must be such a sad and painful time for all of you. All of your family will be in my prayers.

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    drbjposted 11 years ago

    My deepest sympathy to you, Holle, on you and your family's loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Losing a child - at any age - is the worst thing that can happen to a parent. I know. Sending you my love.

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    Angela Blairposted 11 years ago

    Dear Habee -- my prayers, in sorrow, join you and your family. Losing a child is not a matter of the child's age -- whether newborn or 55. There's no other hurt like it nor do I believe there ever will be. Blessings, my friend, to you and your family and it's an honor to stand in the shadows of your sorrow in support.

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    ThePracticalMommyposted 11 years ago

    Very sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

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    Marcy Goodfleischposted 11 years ago

    Holle - what a sad event - I'm so sorry.  Anyone who has ever had a miscarriage knows that baby becomes your very real child the minute you know you are carrying it, and I would imagine even a sudden event like this would feel the same.  Thanks for letting us send our support and love to you and your family through this.
    
    Prayers headed your way . . .

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    Rosie2010posted 11 years ago

    Oh Habee, this is just so sad.  Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

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    LuisEGonzalezposted 11 years ago

    My prayers to you and yours. Very saddened this happened.

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    rebekahELLEposted 11 years ago

    Habee, It's hard to find the right words.. so sorry to hear this news.  Please know we are thinking of you and your family.  Much love being sent your way~~

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    mary615posted 11 years ago

    I can only imagine what your family is going through right now.  Just know that your friends and supporters here in HubLand are thinking of you and praying for you and your family.  You are so loved here, and we all grieve with you.
    Much love.....

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    KDeusposted 11 years ago

    I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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    tlpoagueposted 11 years ago

    I wished I had more comforting words to pass along. I am so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you and your family, along with lots of prayer.

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    sgbrownposted 11 years ago

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I pray for your daughter and family, that they can hold tight to the fact that God has taken this little one back with him for a reason.  One of our sons and his wife lost a baby and 2 weeks old.  She was born one of three triplets.  Cammie is her name and she weighed 11 oz. at birth.  There was something terribly wrong, she was not developing as well as the other two girls.  She would not have had a good life.  We feel that instead of her having to suffer through a horrible difficult life, God decided not to put her through that and took her back with him.  Hold tight to your faith and know that with time it will get easier.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family!

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    Silva Hayesposted 11 years ago

    { Hugs }  --  my condolences to you and your family; such a loss.

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    Brenda Durhamposted 11 years ago

    habee, I'm sorry to hear of your loss, praying for strength and comfort for you all.

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    ccurryposted 11 years ago

    I am prayiing for her and your famiily. I am deeply sypathitic for your loss.

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    Petra Newmanposted 11 years ago

    Dear Habee; what a horrible, heartbreaking experience for you and your daughter. Words can't describe how sorry I am.   My prayers go out to you and your family.
    xx

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    tehjibposted 11 years ago

    Habee,
    
    I am feeling sad to hear it. My prayer is with you and your family. I am happy to know that your daughter already have children. This might help her to absorb the shock. Please stay with your daughter for few days.
    
    When we need to leave someone, we also need to hold us someone.

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    habeeposted 11 years ago

    Dear Hubbers,
    
    My mom used to say that when several people helped to carry a weight of sorrow, the load was a lot lighter for each individual. I believe that. Your support has been a blessing. I know some of you don't believe in Heaven, and that's okay. I do, however, and I fully believe that our little baby is with my wonderful mother now. She's probably rocking him and singing to him, just as she once did for me and my brother.
    
    Love you all,
    
    Holle

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    logic,commonsenseposted 11 years ago

    So sorry to hear of your loss.  It is a sad day when a child does not have the chance to experience life.
    My heart goes out to you and your family.

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       habeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       This experience strengthens my belief that late abortions should be illegal, except in extreme circumstances.

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          Quilligrapherposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Sorry Habee. So very, very sorry.
          Q.

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    Hollie Thomasposted 11 years ago

    Holle, I'm really sorry to hear your news, it must have been a terrible shock for you all. Sending you warm wishes. Hollie.

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       Jean Bakulaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Habee,
       I don't believe exactly in a "heaven" but do think our relatives who pass on know what's going on with us. I've had some very odd experiences which have proved it to me. I am sure the baby is with your Mom too, and that sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
       
       I would never support late term abortions either. Once you feel that baby kick, or hear the heartbeat, it's a real person. You did lose a real child. I'm sure he is in good hands with Grandma. You seem to be holding up well. Take care.

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    Petra Newmanposted 11 years ago

    Dear Habee;  My daughter had a near death experience about 11 years ago.  She saw angels fill her hospital room, she saw them as if they were in a mist or behind a veil.  The images  became clearer and clearer as she was slipping away.  They were there to take her home, (Heaven).  In her experience she got a glimpse of Heaven.  She felt as if she were filled with a light that brought her joy and peace that she had never felt before.  She said there are no words in our vocabulary to describe the bliss, and overwhelming comfort, peace and joy.  There's more to this story, but it would take another page to describe.   
    I wanted you to know that in my heart I know your grandson is in the arms of angels. I always had my doubts about the after life, but when this happened to my daughter all my fears disappeared. I know we will all meet again. 
    God bless you and your family;

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    Mighty Momposted 11 years ago

    How are you doing, Habee?
    Thanks for posting the picture of your daughter and son-in-law. A beautiful couple.
    I'm glad that they're doing as well as they are.
    Please keep us posted.
    Much love,
    MM

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       habeeposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Hi, MM. I think I'm okay. Still sad, of course. I've tried to stay busy. The hospital sent Shannon home with a bottle of Xanax, so I'm not sure how she's really doing. We had Shan and her fam over for dinner last night, and my youngest daughter and her fam joined us. It felt good to be surrounded by family. Shannon won't tell her kids about the baby.
       
       I keep feeling as if I'm missing or forgetting something. Like I need to go get the baby or check on the baby. It's strange. And this is weird, but I hate the thought of the baby's being in the morgue all alone, with no family there. That really got to me when Mom and Dad died, too. After the visitation at the funeral home was over, I didn't want to leave them there alone.

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          Mighty Momposted 11 years agoin reply to this

          Those sound like perfectly normal reactions to an abnormal situation.
          I can understand the feeling that you're missing or forgetting something.
          It is all so sudden and so surreal.
          
          I looked up "grieving miscarriage" and found there are either 5 stages (the traditional Elisabeth Kubler-Ross stages of grief) or 7 stages.
          But, what might be more relevant is this other list I found: coping mechanisms for grief.
          You're well into "support" and "expression" so that's good!
          Hope your daughter is able to share her feelings -- in due time.
          
          http://www.livestrong.com/article/15597 … -of-grief/
          
          I'm gonna keep checking in on ya. Reactions can change quickly!
          xxoo
          MM

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    nina64posted 11 years ago

    I would like to send my thoughts and prayers for you and your family during this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that your daughter is doing well so far.

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    rfmoranposted 11 years ago

    God bless you. You are in my prayers.

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    donotfearposted 11 years ago

    I only, just now, read this post.  I'm very saddened to hear about this and I know it is a sorrowful time.  Habee, I'm sending some positive thoughts and prayers to your daughter.  You are a wonderful supportive Mom and I'm so glad you were there for her. May the Lord bless you and your family now and hold the little fellow close in His arms.

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    teacherjoe52posted 11 years ago

    Good morning Habee,
    I am very sorry to hear this. I am praying for your daughter every morning. May she take comfort in Gods healing loving arms.

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       Jean Bakulaposted 11 years agoin reply to this

       Habee,
       I hope it helps to see so many people care. I understand what you mean about "leaving" the baby though. For me, the part after the funeral is the worst, and I'm usually the last  to leave. It's so hard, but we have to remember that the baby isn't really there, this beautiful soul is already in a better place. A little Xanax never hurt anybody, I'm sure the Dr. put her on a light dose. She must be feeling so shocky. Keep on writing if you can, it will help you.

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