I'm Asking The Government to Bailout My Hubs

1. 91

   rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

   I was hoping it wouldn't come to this, but I'm afraid I'll have to ask Congress to give me a bailout for my hubs. They need help. My numbers have been dropping faster than the stock market and  6 of my 20 hubs have received zero traffic today. With all the stress, I'm having a difficult time coming up with ideas, so the money will definitely help out while I relax at home and think of new stuff to write about.
   
   I think $25 million should do it. I encourage you all to join me. If the banks and the automakers get a freebie, what about us poor hubbers?

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2. 68

   gwendymomposted 12 years ago

   Rockinjoe, I want a bailout too. I haven't even made a dime. I think the government owes me big time!!!

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3. 91

   rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

   Ok Gwendymom, it's you and I so far. I think we have a good shot at $$$$. Now's the time to get in line, everyone.

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4. 93

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   I'm in.
   As long as I'm paying out-- I might as well be in line.
   
   But I'll make it easy on them and eliminate a lot of unnecessary paperwork, recordkeeping and mailing on both of our sides-- just cancel my taxes.
   Thank you.

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5. 91

   rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

   I think you're being too generous, Rochelle. If I were you, I'd ask for both no taxes and the $25 million. Glad you're onboard with us.

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6. 71

   Em Writesposted 12 years ago

   Where do I sign up?

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7. 93

   Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

   Fly your private Jet to D.C and remember to bring your tin cup.

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8. 68

   gwendymomposted 12 years ago

   Roflmao, where can I get a tin cup to go with my jet?

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9. 91

   rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

   Well, we have to fly in on the corporate jet, as there is no way a hubber of my stature flys commercial. (I had a Hub score of 99 once)
   
   Hub Pages must have a jet we can borrow

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10. 71

    Em Writesposted 12 years ago

    Shoot... my jet's in the shop, and my 8-year-old Civic just wouldn't project the correct image of need. Can we jetpool?

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    1. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I suppose jet pooling is ok with me. Don't worry about the Civic because we can probably get you a new car from one of the automakers...as a bonus, or something.

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       1. 71

          Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Sweeeet... Suburbans for everyone!

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    SirDentposted 12 years ago

    I believe Obama has a jet you can borrow. Of course if his is busy maybe you can use McCains.

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    1. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I'd be better off with the Civic.

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    2. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       McCain's I hear is definitely available. The only problem is, Sarah refuses to leave her seat

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       1. 93

          Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          We can take Sarah-- she needs to pay for her clothes. It's cold in Alaska.

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             SirDentposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             She needs to join HubPages first before she can go with us

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             1. 91

                rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Darn, I wish I had thought of that line....lol.

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          2. 91

             rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Rochelle, I'm glad you're here. Since you're the smart one, please take over as CEO and we'll get you a golden parachute.

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             1. 71

                Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                I'll add Rochelle to my hub of CEO's who've gotten their golden parachutes tomorrow.

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12. 0

    SirDentposted 12 years ago

    I wonder if that will be enough Joe. I take it we are planning on taking a big vacation after receiving the money. . .  right?

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    1. 93

       Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       We are all flying to a luxury resort for a week or two to talk about the future of hubbing, so we can get things going here and please the shareholders.

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       1. 71

          Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Can we talk in the spa? After that much flying, I'm really going to need a massage.

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13. 87

    KCC Big Countryposted 12 years ago

    Count me in too!  Why stop at $25 million?!

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14. 68

    gwendymomposted 12 years ago

    I think we need to think bigger, like billions, heck the banks and auto industries are getting billions, why can't we?
    
    And Em, you can jetpool with me, hopefully we don't see any reindeer. LOL

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    1. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks, gwendy!

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    SirDentposted 12 years ago

    I forgot about the jet Palin sold. Westwind II is probably our best bet.

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16. 68

    gwendymomposted 12 years ago

    Put me down for spa time, the suburban and some quality shopping time because after all the stress of trying to please the HP shareholders, I got to blow off some steam.

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    1. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Spa time is a given. Even for the guys. Avocado Papaya facials are on me.

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17. 93

    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    Sorry- I will need my parachute before I get on the plane.

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    1. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       You might have to do that. I think Misha will be flying us.

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    2. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       And so you've been added to my hub... I put it in the comments section. I'm afraid to actually edit anything in my current condition.
       
       http://hubpages.com/hub/Hey-Wheres-MY-Golden-Parachute
       
       
       P.S. Was it legal for me to add the link in a forum? I wouldn't want to get exempted from my bailout. Especially since I might already lose my $13.20 in Adsense. Damn Shiraz.

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       1. 91

          rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          I was in a pretty good mood until I read your hub.

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          1. 71

             Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             Sorry about that... wine?

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             1. 91

                rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

                Too late. I have some right here. Thank you anyway. It seems to help.

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18. 68

    gwendymomposted 12 years ago

    And that is the very reason she should be CEO!

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19. 0

    SarahPalinposted 12 years ago

    I would love to go on this vacation with you all. I mean business trip.

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    1. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Sarah to use one of your famous lines....."You Betcha!"

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    2. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Sarah, do you think you could leave the kids at home on this one? I mean, I know you're a mom and all, but babies at the spa really aren't appropriate.

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       1. 91

          rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Don't worry about the kids. Todd's on the case.

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          1. 71

             Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

             That Todd. He sure was an awesome candidate for First Dude.

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20. 78

    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    I think Sarah Palin is already a member of HubPages. I've seen hubs and comments that are disturbingly like the way she thinks and talks.

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21. 93

    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    I'll have some-- oh wait, have to make sure my parachute is properly folded, before the party.
    I replied you your post, Em, and joined Sarah's Fan club.

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22. 78

    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    I fear Congress is catching on and getting stricter with their policies (kinda like the mortgage industry post sub-prim -- too little, too late). I mean, they just handed over billions in cash to AIG, no real strings attached. But Pelosi said today of the Big 3 "Unless they show us a plan, we won't show them the money." Given that tough guy attitude, maybe we should go in prepared with a plan... (?)

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    1. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       We've got the plan: Jetpooling, followed by free suburbans, a heartfelt plea for help, a check changes hands, we go to the spa. What more do we need?

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    2. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Hmmm, we'll need someone smarter than me if you need a plan. Where's pauldeeds when you need him?

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23. 78

    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    He sure was. Man, that Todd is *hawt.* (and quite virile, too). Gotta wonder which cabinet post John and Sarah planned to hand to Joe the Plumber.... Secretary of the Interior, perhaps?

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24. 93

    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    Mighty Mom---
    Chill out, I mean, I know it is hard, being Mighty and all...
    (Seriously I DiD love your F-word hub)
    But we are just funnin' a bit here.

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25. 0

    SarahPalinposted 12 years ago

    You just leave everything to me. I got the money for the bridge to nowhere approved with ease. Then they told me I should abandon it for my career so I did.

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    1. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I joined your fan club. I hope it was legal. I'm a registered Democrat.

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    2. 93

       Rochelle Frankposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Put down the fish, Sarah, and no one will get hurt-- we are only carrying tin cups here.

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26. 78

    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    Em, don't you think that plan is just a little self-serving? Oh, right. We've gotta force ourselves to think like big failing business here!

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    1. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Darn tootin'! Does this mean you're on board?

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27. 78

    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    Never fear -- Sarah's here!

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28. 93

    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    MM-- You'll have to pack your own parachute., but otherwise the refreshments are free Em has Shiraz, but there will also be Salmon and Moose -- or Salmon Mousse.

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    1. 71

       Em Writesposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       I'll also bring a box of Triscuits. I don't do moose, and the only mousse I want is chocolate.

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          SarahPalinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

          Moose don't come in chocolate silly.

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29. 91

    rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

    I don't know about the rest of you. but when this thread began I had a Hubscore of 96. It;s now 94. I'm getting worried. We have to get to Washington before I drop any further.

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       SarahPalinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       \
       
       Mine is at 0 right now, but in 2012 I t will certainly be 100.

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30. 93

    Rochelle Frankposted 12 years ago

    No we are asking Washington to raise our hubscores, too--
    Thanks for the fun Rockinjoe-- and Em, I gotta go get some rest before my score goes down.

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31. 68

    gwendymomposted 12 years ago

    Rockinjoe, I had been gone for a week and my score was higher than when I left, go figure. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and I could reach a 100.

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32. 71

    Em Writesposted 12 years ago

    I think my score's actually gone up a point.
    
    I need to head off to bed, also. TGIF!
    
    Thanks for the fun!

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33. 78

    Mighty Momposted 12 years ago

    Mmmmm. Triscuits and chocolate mousse and Shiraz. Sounds like a party! We may soon forget what we came to Washington for.

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34. 91

    rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

    Good night ladies.....you too, Sarah!

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       SarahPalinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Good night Joe. You know, Todd goes to bed early. He gets tired taking care of the children all day while I go out shopping, I mean campaigning.

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35. 68

    gwendymomposted 12 years ago

    Ok guys and gals, my turn to go to bed too. Have a good night all and sweet dreams.

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36. 59

    B.T. Evilpantsposted 12 years ago

    My friends at GMAC, and AmEx have informed me that you need to declare your hubs to be banking hubs. Then you can get in on the bank bailout. I'll gladly take 1/2 of one percent of that 700 billion.

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       Marian Swiftposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Good.  Then my hub on flush toilets should qualify.

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37. 71

    Pam Robersonposted 12 years ago

    Joe, you're brilliant. Sign me up to climb on board for the bailout. I might be new, but I deserve some bailing and shopping too.
    
    BT...don't you have some ancestoral connections, like that Sir Medieval-pants (how do you spell that?) I heard you mention once, which should allow you to flash a coat of arms document or something in Washington to get the ball rolling?
    
    Sarah, I left you a fan mail with a serious question, and I'm still waiting for the answer...Did you really make out with Joe the plumber in the housewares section of WalMart last week? That's what the Enquirer says, and we all know about the serious journalism flowing through those pages. Didn't you hear the campaign is over? You don't need to do that any longer.

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    1. 91

       rockinjoeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks, Pam. I can assure you, it's not genius on my part...I just want my fair share. If the banks and automakers can fail and get some money, so can my hubs.
       I'm glad you're aboard.

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38. 91

    rockinjoeposted 12 years ago

    Please everyone.....
    With the Hubpages bailout in the works, from this moment on, I would like to be called by new hubpages name, Joe The Hubber

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       SarahPalinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

       Obama will be adding more tax burdens to Joe the hubber. Don't say I didn't warn you. I tried really I did.

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39. 77

    Benson Yeungposted 12 years ago

    Come on. Don't be silly. Only the rich and powerful expects a bail-out. The rest of you can go to bed early.

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