Why was I so much happier 8+ yrs ago?

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   schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

   Before I dated my ex I was happy, had a lot of friends, did  alot of things.
   
   I also:
   
   1) lived w/ my folks
   2) was in my twenties (late)
   3) had a job
   4) felt secure
   5) wasn't living alone- 30 miles away from everyone
   6) felt free
   7) my dad was still alive
   8) hadn't had heartbreak and was with a handsome boyfriend
   
   What the hell happened?

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   1. 59

      tussinposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Normal life stuff happened to you, just as it happens to everyone else.  items 3-6 are reversible in theory. Perhaps your mental state will improve if you get out there and recapture the things that made you feel happy before.  As for the boyfriend thing, well, if you are in your 30s I see no reason why you can't snag a new handsome fellow.  To a well-established man in his late 40s or early 50s, you might be considered a hot young thing.  Good luck and don't despair.

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      1. 77

         schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         thank you

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   2. 74

      aguasilverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Hang on in there.
      
      I'm 62 going on 45 inside, been down in the doldrums a few times in the last 40 years or so, they pass, you get a new life, you enjoy and for as long as you keep perspective, you can stay content.
      
      Paul said "I have LEARNED to be content in all things"
      
      Learning = experiencing good and bad and realising that you will get sunshine and rain, at best, and storms and hurricanes at worst
      
      Pick up a copy of 'Teflon Rhinos' by Bill Wilson and you will see the perspective.
      
      http://store.metroministries.org/Scripts/default.asp
      
      Want to get focus and see a real change in your life?
      
      Contact Metro Ministries and join their fall program for three months, serving the kids of drug dealers and gang members in NYC or the Philippines, your life will be sweeter as you learn how blessed we all are not to be born somewhere else not so nice.
      
      http://www.metroministries.org/ways-to-help/internship/
      
      Also, your doc has reduced your medications, but is probably ignorant of how you can get balance naturally, get some 1 gram Vitamin C 'buffered' tablets and take one before each meal, Vit C has a great ability to balance our brains and make us feel good, I live on the stuff!
      
      http://www.koshervitamins.com/Country-L … 50-Tablets
      
      .....and if you want to speak to someone.... I'm on Skype as 'aguasilver@gmail.com' and always willing to chat....
      
      John

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      1. 77

         schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         You're amazing.
         I just might do what you said and thnank you for givin gme your skype.
         I am ready for more change! learning everday.
         I don't feel the same. (as I did) Yay!

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         1. 74

            aguasilverposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Here to help! at least I try to......

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2. 77

   schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

   I gotta tell you, this is so for real
   
   
   I may seem weak one moment and then feel strong as a lion the next but,
   
   I am amazed. I mean I'm feeling really "normal" lately now on this med change.
   I feel more able to enjoy life. less depressed.
   
   Do you realize the changes I've gone thru in these years??
   It's so amazing an painful at the same time, you'd want to cry
   
   I was a weak, codependent, shivering child who is now a strong woman.
   
   I have learned to live alone in a place where I"m not drawing strenth-
   
   (read my hub on social anxiety/living alone)
   
   I would never have been able to do this before but after being "pushed" to do it,
   for 4-5 yrs now, I can do it!
   I have scheduled my weekend and I am succeeding. I"m amazed.
   Even my social worker who'sonly known me 9 mo or less has seen me come full cirlcle.
   (a lot of it has been meds change but it's taken extremem strenghth to ADJUST.)
   I should write a hub on it.
   
   Thankkful  this mornning.
   (wrote this before reading aquasilver's post.)

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3. 77

   schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1qHswlZ … ature=plcp
   
   just a cheerful song.

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4. 77

   schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

   happy song
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMc3XDOy … =endscreen

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5. 63

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   Although I know this song is corny, and although I get the distinct impression it's not your (SG's) taste in music, there's some wisdom in its message - so I'm posting it in spite of my reservations..   
   
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxO0dWz- … re=related
   
   (There's a more cheerful version of this song that she recorded (and a YouTube version that doesn't include the nun suit), but some clown had to go put an off-color comment on it; so I decided to go with the less upbeat (and nun-suit) version.  (Just an aside...    See, this is why people need to delete off-color stuff from their content if they want links to their stuff.)
   
   I know you've said you're now a strong woman, so I'm not particularly aiming the thoughts below at you.  Instead, I'm offering them for the purpose of the subject of the discussion and for anyone reading who may not really have figured out what can help during times of feeling "beaten up" by life:
   
   Cornball (although good message anyway, in my opinion  ) song aside, what has always helped me to get through the difficult times of life has been to have fight and think, "There's no way I'm going to let this thing/event take more away from me than it already has."  It can take a lot of fight,and fight requires energy that isn't always readily available; but we can often replenish that "energy supply" little by little with finding those small ways to make ourselves feel a little happier.  Those small things add up, and eventually whatever brain chemicals we have going as a result of negative stuff can change and become different brain chemicals that are of a healthier sort.  Confidence and strength grow as we discover that we've become pretty capable at getting ourselves through those rough times and moods
   
   By "fight" I don't mean "be angry at the world" or even "be angry about the bad stuff that happens" (often stuff nobody could do anything about anyway).  I just mean "have a nice, healthy, dose of 'fight'  when it comes to standing up to any "after-effects" of whatever it is that happened and saying, "OK.  This took x out of me and out of my life.  I'm not letting it take more than it already has."  We can't always control the bad stuff that goes on, but mustering up some fight we can see that we have at least that much control (and feeling as if things are out of control may be one of the worst things when it comes to whether we feel confident and strong or not).  So, I've found that Step 1 is always to start by mustering up whatever fight I can, and Steps 2 and beyond are the gradual building of confidence and sense of strength that tend to come naturally as we see how we've gotten through more and more of those challenging moments/times.

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   1. 77

      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Now that song is 30 yrs too late! Just kidding. NIce
      
      Awesome advice as usual..on that note think I'll take a bublebath

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      schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      What a great singer!
      
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=fv … oup2JGdr0Y
      
      Helen Reddy

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