It's not really ! Sometimes when you do not trust the people you are around, then by all means you should be cautious, but remember the key word is is people that "You" are around .Remove yourself before opening if you are not comfortable. When you do open, be sure you have learned from that which have you mistrusting to begin with. It should be only when you are sure of whom you are opening up to.
You have a right to say why you are not giving up , or don't feel like.
That is to anybody. Otherwise It will only be your fault.
So I advise you to use better strategies finding those you hang around with, or are interested in.
By their fruits you shall know them.
The first consideration is privacy. An infidel husband or wife would not share accounts of infidelity unless s/he is prepared for a ruined marriage. "Ourselves" includes ego and one cannot guarantee that the ego will be protected by someone else who had been shared with "ourselves." Anyone, even the slave, will protect her/his ego to the extent of suicide or homicide. The ego might be the last straw for him/her not to commit suicide. In the workplace, the executive who humiliates his subordinates, thus infringe on their egos, will lose their respect.
Past disappointments lead us to fear in the present. Few of us have never trusted someone when we shouldn't have, and few of us have never let down a friend.
But courage is the master virtue, and risks--sensibly evaluated ones, by preference, as opposed to reckless and foolish ones--are very often worth taking. Sharing something of one's self with another definitely can be.
I believe that society and its skewed rules and outlooks has a lot to do with it. We are trained to believe that if people do not like us or find us interesting that we are less important and there must be something wrong with us. It is difficult for people to swim against that current. I have found many benefits in swimming against the current and people like me anyway, but I am naturally a very private person.
These are the same reasons women feel out of place when they don't fit into the mold created for them by society, you know big boobs, flowing lips, tiny waists etc. The reason men feel better about themselves when they make money and drive better cars. It is the reason for the importance of everything that doesn't really matter much in the world.
I think that the fear of getting hurt or having our deepest emotions used against us. I suppose it is a trust issue.
Fear of criticism and rejection. Many people are highly critical of others, mainly because they lack confidence in their own beliefs and feelings. If more people where open and honest I think that would eliminate some fear. Those who are confident in themselves inspire confidence in others.
I feel it is all about your trust factor and being comfortable to the other person.Some things take time and so is opening up of ourselves.When you start trusting others you automatically start getting comfortable thus automatically end up building confidence in them. Only then you decide to share and talk with each other on a more friendly level.
I can only speak for myself. I am very open with others. I have nothing to hide except some skeletons in the closet. That's not what you mean, though. Being open is being in a vulnerable position. It often makes others uncomfortable and embarrassed that you don't have the sense to be on guard. They may passive/aggressively discourage you from being open in the future. You may become a consternation if you continue in your naive behavior. They may launch a campaign to inform others of your idiocy and recruit allies in their cause . . . to keep you within the parameters of their limited comfort zone.
I know this well. I am from Florida. More Yankees move here every day!
In some cases, it is only us -- the concerned one who understand ourselves. Even, if we try to be open to others will make them misinterpret the situation that we try to clarify. Because, usually they face our problems from their point of view, they don't care what we undergo in the problem which is so hard to be shared. In examplification, if we tell others that we have the power of the sixth sense, there will be various reaction coming to us: curious, hesitate, amazed, and maybe majority of them will regard us as a liar. So which one is better, being open or remind closed --- or only tell the circumstances to certain persons.
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