At what age should we give the "sex talk" to our son?

Jump to Last Post 1-8 of 8 discussions (12 posts)
  1. Robie Benve profile image97
    Robie Benveposted 3 years ago

    At what age should we give the "sex talk" to our son?

    What is the most appropriate age to talk to a boy and go into details and about respect for your and your girl's body and sex safety in a relationship?
    Should we wait until he's seeing someone? Is it better to talk about it in advance so it's covered? Is it better if the father (male figure) is the one talking about it?

  2. dashingscorpio profile image88
    dashingscorpioposted 3 years ago

    In this era I would say age 11 or 12. This would be an overall discussion about understanding their hormones, the conception of babies, and how some people have made mistakes by not waiting until their mental maturity caught up with their body's maturity.  (STDs, unplanned pregnancy, having to give up on dreams of college..)
    It's probably best for a man he respects to have the talk with him.
    Having said that by this age he has either heard things from fellow students at his school or has been exposed to a lot through music videos, lyrics, and possibly images via the Internet.
    I was probably age 10 or 11 the first time I thumbed through a Playboy or Penthouse magazine. However today anyone could easily Google (nude women) or whatever (images) and see all the sex photos or video clips they want anytime they want for free.

  3. Millionaire Tips profile image93
    Millionaire Tipsposted 3 years ago

    Personally, I think the sex talk shouldn't be one talk, but a series of conversations that take place throughout the child's life at age appropriate levels.  If the child is used to asking you questions, sees you as the source for these types of questions, and gets honest straightforward answers, then he will feel comfortable asking them. Both parents should share their viewpoints.

    1. Robie Benve profile image97
      Robie Benveposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Totally agree, in fact I have been talking on and off about the subject with him, but in a general way, more about relationships than sex. True that trust needs to be built in layers. Thanks!

  4. FatFreddysCat profile image97
    FatFreddysCatposted 3 years ago

    We had "the talk" with my son when he started sixth grade (age 11). It was actually pretty funny, when we finished we sat back and asked "Do you have any questions?" and he said "no." So we asked "is there anything you'd like to say?" and his response was "Ewwwww!"

    1. Robie Benve profile image97
      Robie Benveposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      lol, I can totally see that!  They explained a lot in school about puberty and growing bodies, with videos etc, so I know he knows the mechanics, at least I don't have to go through that. smile

  5. jlpark profile image82
    jlparkposted 3 years ago

    Probably around 11-12. And I agree with Millionaire - it should be more a series of conversations than one big talk - that way, he knows he just needs to ask.

    I have one thing I'd like to add, and please take from it what you will, but I feel it needs to be said. Please note I do not know you, him, or your religious beliefs or other feelings on sexual matters. I speak only from experience.

    Please do not just assume he will have a girlfriend. Yes, the sex talk is most appropriate focusing on a heterosexual relationship, as MOST people are, but not all. And by focusing solely on "straight" relationships, you may make him feel as though, if he wasn't straight that there is something wrong with him, and may isolate him further IF he isn't straight.

    It doesn't have to be an obvious "well, if you're gay/bi etc and bring home a boyfriend" type statement, but the use of partner rather than girlfriend...or something.

    I am not saying he is, or could be, but it doesn't hurt to have an open mind - that way, he knows, no matter what - you love him.

    I do applaud your willingness to talk about it, and to also focus on the 'respect' issue - most people are so 'icked' by talking to their kids about sex - they focus on the "physical" nature of things, but not really the emotion and the other person.

    1. Robie Benve profile image97
      Robie Benveposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      Very good point, jlpark, I totally agree. Never assume anything, thanks for mentioning it, because I don't know if I would have thought of keeping it gender-free on my own, since he is currently head over hills for a girl.

    2. jlpark profile image82
      jlparkposted 3 years agoin reply to this

      No worries - good luck!

  6. Dr. Arthur Ide profile image73
    Dr. Arthur Ideposted 3 years ago

    There is no set age when an older person talks to a child about sex. The time is when the child asks questions. At that time the individual asked must be knowledgeable about all forms of sex, the inherent risk and the responsibilities of those engage in sex. It is absurd to think that a child does not understand what is going on, and a frank discussion of the facts can build in the child a healthy appreciation of sex and those who engage in it. It is a time for facts, not mythologies or condemnations.

  7. Zelkiiro profile image94
    Zelkiiroposted 3 years ago

    He will inevitably learn all about it in the same way every child has since the early 90s: internet porn.

    Source: Experience.

  8. Rod Marsden profile image74
    Rod Marsdenposted 3 years ago

    Age isn't that important. When the child starts getting curious and asks questions is the time. For a male child it is probably best if the husband gives the talk or what will no doubt turn into a series of talks but the issue should not be avoided. The thing is that sex is something natural and part of life. treat it as anything else and you are likely to cause problems for yourself and for your offspring. Practicalities and responsibilities should be discussed in a matter-of-fact way. In a loving family there is already respect and also love but it is love of a non-sexual nature.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)