What makes intelligent, able-bodied adults expect their relatives to financially support
them, even giving them an affluent lifestyle?
Laziness perhaps? Lack of motivation?
It seems to be more prevalent today for people to expect more from others, whether they deserve it or not.
Grace you keep asking the same questions over and over. Do you need confirmation for doing well in your life and therefore casting derogatory innuendos or comments about classes in society? To me, I wince at your harshness but then I think you worked for social services in some capacity? And I think when you see too much poverty, strife and sadnesses, you have to harden up to survive your job. I understand that.
All I'm going to say here, there are some people that have little to begin with in life and on top of that they did not get "the opportunities" in life or the "right people connections" to move them along or upward in life. Just remember that Grace. Everybody needs and wants a life they can feel proud of. I dont know how you can imply otherwise Grace.
Once upon a time I was sold that lie that a career determined what a "decent" person you are. Outside a public servant's job, most other jobs are insecure and going down the tubes. Careers can no longer be the vessel of worth. We are going to find our worth, our purpose in another way. Here in our country, in about less than 4 years it is said about 5-6 million jobs are going to be lost. That then means, only about 5-6 million people will be working in about a population of about 23 million. What do you suggest Grace?
Intelligent, able bodied people should be socioeconomic parasites. No one should expect to be supported by relatives. Either support yourself or DO WITHOUT. If one wants something, WORK for it! Nothing owes anyone anything-including family!
Culture, that's where the idea comes from. And a good many respond to it because, after all, "family is family."
Then there are others who think differently. It really depends on your life philosophy. Are you alone in this universe? Or do you desire to share what you have with others. It's a very personal decision.
My thoughts: Are you after approval here? And from complete strangers? Why do you even bring the subject up?
Sure you can keep it ALL to yourself if you want to. But if you don't feel quite comfortable about it, then maybe something deeper inside than a fearful self-image is prodding you towards a different behaviour.
Tom, are you speaking to me or Grace?
Im not clear what you are trying to say, especially in the last paragraph. Could you explain further Tom?
It is a sign of laziness, really. If one wants something-WORK it! No one should support an able-bodied adults. Family in many cases is synonymous w/moochers & parasites.
The question came from Grace, Three Keys, so I was referring to her question.
Because they....CAN. Yes, there are family members who are....well, moochers or the better term, parasites. There are those because they are related, expect others to support them & give them an easy affluent lifestyle. These leeches aren't about to work for themselves. Instead they find it much easier to depend upon their relatives.
This behavior is quite common in large/very large families but not so much in small families. In many large/very large families, relatives who are less successful want, even expect their more successful relatives to support them & give them a lavish lifestyle. In many large/very large families, there are siblings who socioeconomically leech off other siblings. In small families, there is more socioeconomic independence & it is expected in small families, that each member do for himself/herself.
Many family members view other family members as their IN-HOUSE WELFARE SYSTEM. They find it very time consuming to work & support themselves when there are other family members who will do the job for them. In essence, such family members find a socioeconomic buffer in other family members. It isn't unusual for these leeches, moochers, & parasites to live in relatives' homes, eating their food, & spending their monies w/o reciprocation. In their assessment, family OWES them because they are.....well, FAMILY.
The book The Millionaire Next Door describes economic outpatient care or EOC, parents who lavish money on children to keep them emotional dependent, close or subsidizing them as they pursue unrealistic dreams. The children become dependent on that money and save less and spend more.
What compounds the problem is how many of the parents who gave EOC then ask more successful siblings to subsidize the dependent siblings when the parents are gone.
Not only upper middle & upper class parents, many poor parents EXPECT the more successful siblings to support & carry the less successful siblings. This behavior is rife in large families.
I brought up that book because the author wrote about this issue 20+ years ago, and yes, there were working class parents of high net worth who asked doctors to give money to siblings.
With all due respect don't take this the erroneous way and I'm not endeavoring to offend you in any way, shape or form but you keep reiterating yourself in all the comments you've posted. From the looks of it you seem homogeneous to an conversational narcissist and it's purportless for us to endeavor and understand from your perspective as why you feel such a way about this post because you genuinely aren't explicating nor giving a reason as for why you feel such a way. Are you habituated with the term "NPD"? Well CN's can be draining and tedious especially if you optically discern there’s nothing in it for you. How about transmuting the way you visually examine things? Don’t worry, I don’t like the noetic conception of transmuting something in myself either, especially when it’s the narcissist who should transmute! The fact is: you can’t change anyone, so give up trying now.The only thing you can change is your outlook and perception. For instance, you could see talking to a conversational narcissist as a form of interpersonal training. You could also see it as a way to forge many great qualities such as patience, self-control (forbearance) and focus that all come with listening to a self-absorbed, insensitive and egotistical person. That's my opinion of how I view you as a person from your response and or comments towards this post; however, I'm not trying to offend you so please don't take it the wrong way. “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”–Epictetus
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