Feelings Are a Terrible Guide to Telling You What is Right

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   AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years ago

   OK, let me be a bit more specific.
   
   Feelings can sometimes be a good guide to telling you whether your beliefs are true or not.
   
   But to rely solely on your feelings to determine this is insanity.
   
   This relates to the religious debates on this site. Feeling that a belief is true is one thing, but believing because your feeling is strong, even when logic tells you otherwise, is quite another...
   
   But this is true in life more generally.
   
   Often, we feel something is wrong, when it is not! A lot of people have sexual hangups because of this, for example.
   
   Or we may "feel" that Sarah Palin, or Barack Obama, are good people with lots of common sense... even though there might be evidence to the contrary.
   
   Please send your answers on a postcard

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      cosetteposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      too many people follow their feelings, which can sometimes lead to disappointment, or even disaster.

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         h.a.borcichposted 13 years agoin reply to this

           I can think of a few "feelings" to support that thought...
         The married person who "couldn't help falling for a coworker". Maybe they were"feeling" lonley, and just wanted to "feel" better.
         The child who "felt" angry and beat another kid half to death.
         When we navigate thru life guided by emotions without checking with our brains and values - it is wrong. And ends up in disaster with a part of ourself and others wounded. Just a thought, Holly

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      Galadriel Arwenposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I am not sending you a postcard because it cost money. Obviously if you are telling people not to trust their feelings, you do not understand the psyche of the human mind.
      When a person is raised with "Morals or Beliefs," they have an active super ego and are well aware of the community rules of "right" vs "wrong. The Super-ego manifests in your feelings about things.
      Sigmund Freud's human "feeling" or thinking construct indicates that child like spontaneous part of the psyche is the "id"; the organized realistic part of the psyche is the "ego," and the critical and moralizing function the "super-ego." When we, as humans think about something we have all 3 parts in action. With proper use of the "Super-Ego" you remember "Cause and Effect" events in your past and are able to feel your way into making the right decision for yourself. The only reason a person should not trust their "feeling" is if they are under the influence of psyche altering drugs.

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         You're an elf, so what do you know

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Well, naturally, I am not telling people anything. They can do what they want.
         
         As for not trusting their feelings, the comment immediately above mine, right now, says it all -- you cannot ALWAYS trust your feelings.
         
         As for Freud, while much of what Freud wrote was, well, wrong (and later revised by himself), one thing was clear... he didn't think conscious explanation of your own feelings were particularly reliable... which sounds spot on

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      vox vocisposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Feelings are often our greatest enemies. Intuition can tell us whether something is right or wrong, but strong feelings and passions can definitely take us down. That's why we often say: ''Think twice before you say sth or make a decision'' or ''Cool down before you do sth.'' A mature person knows that one of the biggest and most important challenges of life is to control feelings.

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      LeslieAdrienneposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Feelings are wonderful....but, they are not a compass for action or the lack thereof... Feelings should be anchored and governed by standards and convictions.
      
      You can feel like socking your boss in the eye, but the common sense standard should prevent you from doing so and provide you with an outlet for those feelings.....
      
      The same is true for any other feeling.....
      
      Footnote: Religious beliefs cannot stand if they are rooted and supported by feelings....feelings leave and change......and, if all you have to support your faith is a feeling, you will fall
      
      Faith should be grounded in fact that you can attach yourself to.

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   WizardOfOzposted 13 years ago

   You could be right.  Then again, you could be wrong, right?

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      AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      The hardest part is forcing yourself to rely on logic and rationality even when you don't "feel like it"

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I guess that would really depend on factors, for which, are unknown.

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   Justine76posted 13 years ago

   Im not feeling this....

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   Justine76posted 13 years ago

   BTW, your looking kinda sad today, everything alright?

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   Alessia Amnesiaposted 13 years ago

   There have been so many times when my feelings have led me in the right direction, but there have been many times when my feelings have gotten me into a huge mess.
   
   The same with logic.
   
   So, the real question here is: When do we rely on our feelings and when do we rely on our logic? Is there any way to know?

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Believe it or not, there is a way to tell the difference, as long as you have knowledge and understanding(wisdom) of life.

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Maybe that is the *definition* of wisdom

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            Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            the nasty thing about wisdom, is 90 percent of it comes from learning from your mistakes.

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            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I am of the understanding that emotions are not right or wrong. Each emotion is a reactionary results of cause and effect. To logic and rationale, emotions have no standard or level of right or wrong. The only thing that can be right or wrong is action.

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               Alessia Amnesiaposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               I disagree. In some situations, logic and feelings have to walk hand in hand. So, in those situations, what do you listen to? Even past mistakes can teach you the wrong thing to believe. There are no black and white answers.

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                  Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  That is what you've been taught and my understanding comes from what I was taught. No argument necessary. You are more than welcome to believe what you think you know is right.

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               Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

               mmmm...good point, but what about when a person means 'feelings' as more of an intuition, rather than emotion.

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                  Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  What do you think is "intuition"? It is your inner-self telling you....or trying to guide you, as to what is right or wrong. It's not a feeling, but your sense of life trying to talk to you.

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                     Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     yup.
                     what I meant is, people dont always mean emotion, when they say “feeling”.  vocabulary issues..

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                        Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        True enough.

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               AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               But we definitely experience emotions often as *seeming* to be 'right' or 'wrong', and that's the tricky part, because they can fool us (of course, noone has perfect rationality either, naturally, so we can be fooled by that too, if it is 'faulty')

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                  Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  The only thing you really need to know is that you are human and accept the fact that you are going to make mistakes from time to time, but never let emotions dictate any action. It only makes for a complete mess.

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   whiteorchidsposted 13 years ago

   I feel it and  understand it, making complete sense often times we do rely on feelings instead of thinking things through which can cause conflict with others, allowing our emotions and feelings to become involved.

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   Alessia Amnesiaposted 13 years ago

   Wisdom? Understanding of life? Even the very wise have made mistakes in their feelings and their logic. Try again please.

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   AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years ago

   Perhaps a solution is to get a damn sight more education in logic and rationality, ie, critical thinking, than most of us get. I think that the issue of the 'faultiness' of emotions would be far less important if we had more of this sort of education.
   
   Of course, there are always circumstances and factors we do not understand in a situation, which has an effect on the effectiveness of our decisions also

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      Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Emotions are faults. They are part of who you are and how you manage or handle your emotions, helps define who you are as a person. If you're unable to manage or handle your own emotions, then something is missing?
      
      The circumstance and factors you speak of, would be known, if you were able to integrate your thoughts and evalue properly the events happening.

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         AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         No, emotions are not faults (if you are asking me if I think that they are faults.) But they are a bit of a leaky boat if used alone, without rationality (or common sense), to make a decision... but then, so is logic -- hardly a perfect tool either, in any case. Other people's input is often also important in making a good decision too of course.
         
         
         
         Mmm, I'm a big believer in the idea that we are pretty fallibe. Take Obama. Maybe some of his mistakes are malicious. But doubtless some of them are due to his inability to read, or know, all factors of a situation also

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            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            There are a lot of facts to a great many things for which humankind doesn't know and then again, there is a lot of knowledge for which has been kept from the mainstream society, because if given to mainstream of society, when not properly introduced in a manner that easily understood, then more confusion can happen as a result.
            
            Just a thought.

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               AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               ...with which I agree (and HOW)

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   Daniel Carterposted 13 years ago

   My experience is that "feelings" are often a kind of "faith." Faith is a belief or hope in something we "feel" but don't necessarily "see." Hence, faith in God. Those who believe have faith in something they cannot see.
   
   However, as I have lived through a lot of deceptions and regretted being deceived, I have what I call the "Santa Clause Syndrome." As children we were told to believe in Santa. At Christmas we can still buy crap with the word "believe" on it. We out grow this, usually and to many it's no big deal. But to me it was. The first thing I did at age 10.5, being the last kid to NOT believe in Santa, who, when finding out it was all a pretty lie, concluded quickly the same about God. What's the difference, I thought? None, I concluded.
   
   However, as I have lived for 5 decades, there is something to feelings, in understanding and comprehending things you cannot see for sure, but still have evidence that they probably exist. Intuition is a part of it. I've concluded (for now...it's all in flux and keeps evolving) that we get certain clues about things--anything, and those clues allow us to form beliefs about that particular thing.
   
   I've seen a few small miracles. Couldn't explain it, still don't know how to. But I believe that it's partly within us as our innate power of "being", and partly, for some reason, the incredible complexities of the universe, which I don't pretend to understand. But there is some power that is greater than us, not sure what it is, that makes this universe alive, dynamic and moving at all times. And we're a part of it.
   
   So, although I tend to believe that we need to be rational and pragmatic in our approach to so many things in life to avoid the deceptions, fakes, and harsh lessons, I also believe that we need to get to our core self where we are innately at peace and draw on that as a part of the equation. That sounds very ethereal and unreliable in a larger sense, but for me, personally, it works.
   
   We are not naturally beings of logic alone. Otherwise we wouldn't be so emotionally geared and volatile. I think there needs to be a mix of both, based on facts and clues. The best answers to questions, the best choices are usually made from a place of inner peace, not in a moment of high emotional volatility, or during a crisis or panic. Those are the times we are the least likely to be rational or know how to connect with our inner self.
   
   My thoughts on the subject, anyway.

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      Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      thats why I never told my kids santa was real. most parents I know think Im awful and deprive my kids part of thier childhood. I FEEL that they are wrong.

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    donotfearposted 13 years ago

    Yeah, well, I can relate to this one. Relying on feelings alone can be dangerous. Heck, if I went out and slugged down a bottle of wine because I FEEL like it will make me better, I'll be off the wagon for sure. Even though it FEELS good, it's not necessarily good for you. Emotions get in the way too, you know. If we don't use logic & common sense then what happens? Crash landing! Boom! Can't tell you how many times I've crashed & burned because I relied on the FEELING or emotion I was having at the moment....oh, it feeels so good.....it can't be wrong. Sure, and a chicken has lips, too.  How do we, as humans with emotions, learn to rely on common sense, logic, rationality, AND emotions/feelings? There's a balance there, but unfortunately I'm not wired to use them in balance. Lot's of people aren't. Some folks seem to be overloaded with logic, coming across as "cold & unfeeling". Out of balance? There's no right or wrong answer here. I know one thing for sure. If I didn't rely on my "gut feeling" sometimes, like in my job, I'd make some bad choices for people.  On the other hand, in my personal life, if I'd listened to my "gut feeling", I could have saved myself some heartache. So here's to bashing myself for screwing up in life by letting feelings guide me....

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       Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       No bashing!! You cant undo anything...gotta just try to figure out what went wrong and try a different approach next time. thats life. You NEVER stop learning. PS good for you, staying 'on the wagon.'

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          AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I think donotfear just pointed out a possible difference between "being guided by your feelings" and "listening to your gut". Anyone care to comment? Do you think there's a valid distinction to be made there?

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             Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

             i agree, see previous comments.   but you should still not bash yourself for past mistakes.

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    Cagsilposted 13 years ago

    Emotions are separate from your Sense of Life.

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       AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Did you (or someone else) comment that emotions and feelings are separate things? Care to elaborate, as that sounds interesting

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          Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Feelings is too broad a term and can be relevant to a lot of things.
          
          Emotions, crying, anger, sadness, happiness and others are a result of action, either your own action or someone else.
          
          Your individual sense of life, consists of your awareness(consciousness), sub-consciousness and your conscience, working together as one.
          
          Emotions are described as feelings.
          
          Sense of life is described as "gut" instinct or "intuition" in the case of women.

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    Len Cannonposted 13 years ago

    As an emotionless robot, I am forced to agree.

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       Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Who or What are you in agreement with?

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    prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

    isnt feelings are a by product of thinking and how you perceived things tells you to do plus values you put into it and plus gut

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       AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, I would say that "values" are in some way distinct from feelings. But where do we get our "values." How do we know our values are right?

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          Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          do your values harm others?

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             Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             If you're individual values harm others then your values are immoral. Hence, bad.

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                Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                that was my point. exactly.
                right vs wrong in the tricky realm of feelings....how DID I end up here?

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          prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          values are shared at times in a society, religious values is one

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             Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

             personal values, are different. I promise, there are people, with a messed up sense of 'value'.

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                prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                yes there are shared values in a society but then individual values is more specific to you, like personal, thnaks justine for that

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                   Justine76posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   ive dated some odd people...

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             AdsenseStrategiesposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             That is not true. Religious values can differ widely, even in the same religion... even in the same denomination. For example, I have known Pentecostals who think it is wrong to drink, and others who think it is fine in moderation.
             
             I have known other evangelicals who thought it was wrong to dance, and others, belonging to the same congregation, who thought it was fine

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             Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Sorry PDH. There is no value in religious belief. There is value in the code of ethics taught by religion, but that's about it.

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    prettydarkhorseposted 13 years ago

    and values can be learned too from parents, soical environments, upbringing etc values are basis of laws

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    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    A post Jungian view would be that thinking or logic needs feeling to balance the thinking, so the feeling function along with intuition could form part of the proper process of thinking.

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    atullianposted 13 years ago

    Hello,  i am new at this. i think it is all very interesting but does it really matter?
    Are we really anything more than animals calling our species Humans?
    As humans we hold ourselves up as the better, smarter, entitled of the world. We convince ourselves that we are the top of the food chain.
    Morality is subjective, controling laws make it objective.
    Feelings can be distorted by physical problems, mental problems.
    Ultimately it is everyman for himself and the instinct to survive or not, makes us all do, say and be what we are.

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    Flightkeeperposted 13 years ago

    Rationality has its place and so do feelings.

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    atullianposted 13 years ago

    perhaps, but WHO determines what is rational?

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