What is the MOST STUPID statement you have heard about childfree & 1-child families from people who
come from large families? People from large families, on average, have the most vitriolic prejudice against those who are childfree or come from 1-child families.
I am an only child, and am childless by choice. I don't think I can narrow in on the stupidest thing I've heard, but I can give you a list to choose from.
To my parents, because I was an only child:
"It's a shame you didn't have more." Hurtful, because my mother couldn't have another child.
"She must be lonely." Do people think I spent my childhood locked in a box by myself?
"Why didn't you adopt?" Very personal. None of your business.
"It's a shame she'll never have a brother or sister." My father was an only child, so this was doubly stupid.
"It must be nice to have some peace and quiet at home." Yes, it is nice to have a child who isn't a screaming heathen, because we took the time to teach her manners, and the value of silence, instead of letting her run wild. You should try that.
To me, because I don't have kids:
"You only really know what love is when you have a child." Possibly the most selfish reason I've ever heard put forth for having kids.
"Did you never want children?" None of your business, and if I did want them, wouldn't this be a painful question to answer?
"You would have made such a good mom." No, I wouldn't, which is why I chose not to have kids. More people should acknowledge this, and make this choice.
"Why would you choose not to have kids?" None of your business. This is never anyone's business but the person or couple involved.
"You're depriving us of the experience of being grandparents." Obviously, from my own mother. I told her she'd better get to work on having another kid if she expected to be a grandparent. I'm still not clear on the logic of having a child just to provide someone else with the experience of being a grandparent.
Shall I go on?
Oh, there were SOME EXTREMELY S-T-U-P-I-D statements made by the large family camp:
(1) Childfree & 1-child families aren't authentic families. True families consist of......CHILDREN.
(2) Children can't develop w/o siblings. Siblings help children.....develop.
(3) Childfree families are selfish. Something is WRONG w/them for not wanting children.
(4) Only children have....NOBODY..........
(5) Only children are........LONELY........
(6) Regarding childfree people, look at them, they can do what they want..........but they are missing the joys of having children.
(7) Only children may have the monies & opportunities but we are so happy.............
(8) Regarding childfree families, children are WHAT make a marriage.
(9) To 1-child families, only children are "missing something" by not having a sibling.
Heard this claptrap from those in large families, including relatives. Yes, I am an unapologetic only child & childfree. Those who make such inane remarks were jealous of my lifestyle, wishing that they were me as they constantly complained how hard their lives were. These people were the ones who had no opportunities because they were subsisting. They lived from hand to elbow at a poverty level, leading closed & very narrow lives.
And yet, so many people bring in foreigners into the US illegally. These foreigners are the poster people for large families. And their surrogate parents are the American Taxpayer. There is a benefit burden on having cheap illegal alien labor force. The burden is the amount of money that is spent on them by the government in the form of free education, free medical, welfare, food stamps, and the group has a large number of them in the US jails and prisons. As not all of them are law abiding.
So, I am in favor of childless or small families in these uncertain times.
We should look to the animal kingdom and nature for the pragmatic view on the size of families. The eco structure can only support so many animals and external events and conditions meter the rise and fall of the animal population.
Humans have no such restraints, even though they are supposedly the smartest organisms on the planet.
del if u wish.
I don't know what to say. Only that these comments are really sad and show some people's ignorance. I have never heard any of these said to me or anyone I know. I have actually heard more negative talk about large families then small.
Even though it is LESS prejudice against childfree & one-child families, it still exists unfortunately. Again, it is those from large families who have the most venomous prejudice against childfree & one-child families. People from large families SIMPLY HATE small families, especially childfree & one-child families!
I know ONE here in particular who regularly derides childfree & 1-child families as inauthentic & incomplete. This man even told a woman in one of the forums who was happy w/her only child that she should have MORE. He has a vitriol against childfree & 1-child families & criticizes people who believe in family planning & small families. He does this on a constant basis. He believes that children should live in crowded environments w/little or no opportunities beyond bare subsistence. He has a poverty mentality. He even indicated that childfree & 1-child families are shallow.
That someone who had only one child was neglecting them by only having one child, when it was a deliberate choice to try to maximize resources and opportunity for said child.
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