Should I force my husband to take care of his daughter if the daughter's mother

1. 61

   krystalsmithposted 13 years ago

   Should I force my husband to take care of his daughter if the daughter's mother doesn't want him to?
   
   She wants his family involved but has made it clear she wants him to stay out of her life. He says he just wants to leave it alone. What should I do?

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2. 69

   L.L. Woodardposted 13 years ago

   Force your husband? I am sure many ex-wives and ex-husbands would prefer to have the former spouse uninvolved in their new lives, but children of the marriage are a whole different ballgame.
   
   They have a right to have a relationship with both parents.

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3. 0

   Quddusposted 13 years ago

   Perhaps you could consider setting up a college fund or in some other way set aside something for the child so that when she is older if she chooses to have a relationship with her father she will know that he was willing to be there for her bit chose not to put her life in turmoil by arguing with the mother.

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4. 86

   CJ Andrewsposted 13 years ago

   That is one very loaded question.  I don't know the whole situation or ethics/ morals of anyone involved.  But it sounds like there is a huge need to have a sit down and talk it over. 
   This is not a subject that either of you should be uncomfortable with one another. 
   Does he want to be involved?  If so, we would he give up on his child - ever?  There could be a reason, but you guys need to talk it over.
   I know that is not a yes or no, but a very serious question to answer without being in the situation.  I hope it all works out for the best.

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5. 70

   onegoodwomanposted 13 years ago

   Your role is to be supportive or encouraging of your husband.  Even though you can privately voice your concerns to him, the decision is  his.  Whatever his reasons are: the unease is between him and his former wife.
   
   You would be well advised to not attempt to "force" him in any direction.  It will spoil your own marriage to him.

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6. 60

   akuiglaposted 13 years ago

   Stay by your husband..............................
   If you get involved, you may gain little, and lose a lot.
   If you stay by your husband, you may gain your husband respect, and lose nothing.
   Its your choice

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7. 59

   Ashantinaposted 13 years ago

   I agree with onegoodwoman.
   I'd remain at the sidelines if I were you...

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8. 60

   sharnasposted 13 years ago

   ONEGOODWOMAN is right.  Dear krystalsmith your openion is nice and appreciatable. But you have to bolder to keep your wide mind as this when after receiving daughter also. So no need to compel him. If occur this keep up your this mind . [Truely your mind is beautyful.]
   HAVE A GOOD LIFE

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9. 74

   moonfairyposted 13 years ago

   I would say leave it alone and respect whatever decision he's made.

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10. 0

    SilentSmile08posted 13 years ago

    don't force but encourage it. time wasted cant be given back .
    
    this question is  one of old for me. My real father never met me he left before i was born, it hurt knowing he never wanted to meet me or talk to me. but yrs later i've met my fathers sister and her family, and i feel somewhat complete in a way, as for the situation with his X, well its another relate to my life, my step father, has six kids with another woman she basicly brain warshed them into thinking he was nothing could do nothign for them, it hurt him the most i think knowign his own children didnt want him around  though his youngiest stays in touch its hard on him . the best soultion is to  dont give up if he wants a realtionship with his daughter, thats the main thing,  thats his daughter, not just the X's she didnt give herself a sperm cell.. so she needs to back off a bit and allow him to see her if he wants to though if he doesnt then im sorry to hear that,  i wish the best of  luck

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11. 60

    1morningposted 13 years ago

    Is forcing that even possible?  If dad doesn't want to be a part of the girls life, and if mom doesn't want him to be either, then there probably isn't much you can do for now.  Who knows what will happen in the future?  It sounds like the child is young and hopefully in time her mother will forgive dad for whatever she feels he did to make her so angry, and dad will want to know and spend time with his daughter.  But it really is up to them to work out their own relationships with each other and their child.

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12. 76

    LuisEGonzalezposted 13 years ago

    It's up to him, however by law this cannot be enforced by the mother. He has his visitation days, plus holidays, plus vacation times with his daughter which the mother cannot violate. Assuming that an arrangement was not done by a court of law, he can still ask a judge to enforce it. Not being part of his daughter's life will haunt him in the future and more than likely sooner or later he will have to answer to his daughter if his peace of mind was more important than his daughter's well being.

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13. 61

    Chauntaeposted 12 years ago

    No matter how independent we are as women, we must allow and encourage our men to be men, meaning; allow them to be the kings of their homes in making decisions that's best for his family and their well-being. He could be experiencing stress from the situation that he isn't willing to share for whatever reasons. That's okay. He knows that that is his cross to bear and you don't want to add stress to your relationship because a non-negotiable ex is unwilling to allow her child to receive what she deserves; love from both parents. In today's society, many men run from their parental responsibility so we know that his ex is a bit touched in the head to try and dissuade him from being an active part of his daughter's life. Be supportive, nurturing, non-critical and understanding. Continue to be by his side as you have been. As much as we want to be more than a help meet to our spouses and assist them in tackling tough issues, some battles aren't ours to fight. I wish you and your husband well and maybe one day, his ex will come to her senses, remove the selfishness and put the psychological well-being of the child that is in the middle...first.

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14. 72

    scarltonposted 12 years ago

    First, there is a lot more history to this situation than the statement you made, a history which you already know about. If you do NOT know the history between your husband and his child's mother, and he is unwilling to discuss it with you, then maybe it is time to re-evaluate your relationship. If there is a lot of bad blood between the parents you probably already know the answer to this question down deep in your heart. Also, you should never force someone you love to do anything regarding situations like this, nor should you want to. Best of luck in your decision....

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