How do you think I should deal with this situation?

1. 67

   sassydeeposted 12 years ago

   How do you think I should deal with this situation?
   
   my daughter is in her middle school basketball team this year (which is her last year of middle school) it frustrates me because I take her at least 3 times a week to practice & I sometimes drive out of the way to go see her games and she only plays for 30 seconds to a min. at every game. Should I talk to her coach or should I make her practice more?
   
   

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2. 67

   KrystalDposted 12 years ago

   I would suggest that you go to practices before saying anything. Until seeing what your daughter is doing in practices, it is hard to know what is guiding the coaches decision to rarely play her.

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3. 69

   onegoodwomanposted 12 years ago

   Welcome to parenthood.
   
   
   Is your child a good basketball player?
   
   Does she even want to compete?
   
   Do you want the coach to help you pack?
   
   
   
   
   You are the parent, you get to decide...........your inconviences vs the dreams of your child.
   
   I can not make this call.

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4. 93

   Cre8torposted 12 years ago

   I'm a father of 3 boys and have coached youth sports for some years. I don't know if your daughter is good or not but as hard as it is, I've had to accept that though some are better than others, none of my sons are likely to go pro. I also think pressing anything could make matters worse or awkward for your daughter. Just ask her...are you okay with putting in the effort and not playing much? If yes, she's enjoying being on the team, playing or not....and needs to practice more if she wants more PT. If not, pull out. I understand your frustration, but I coach a team for each boy...imagine mine. But they're happy so...better than hangin' at the local convenience store.

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5. 95

   cat on a soapboxposted 12 years ago

   First of all, I think it is great and important that you attend the games - no matter. Unless your daughter is visibly lousy and unmotivated, I would approach the coach and introduce yourself or e-mail him and ask how your daughter is doing and what he recommends for improvement.

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6. 67

   sassydeeposted 12 years ago

   thanks for your inputs everyone but let me just add that i love my girl no matter what i asked this question because i am new at this (her playing basketball for her school team) anything that is for my girls is NOT an inconvience i just meant that some of the games are a distance for me when i have to wait for my other girl to get home from school and rush to her games, and get there just in time to not see her play at least half of a quater but yeah i will try what cat in a soap box suggested, thanks again!

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7. 61

   KDFposted 12 years ago

   It's odd that your daughter is in her last year of middle school and isn't starting or playing much. Generally, not always, but the 'senior' group plays or at least starts but their is competition out there so sometimes even a 'stud' may take her spot.
   As far as talking with the coach, there is nothing wrong with that. However, as a youth coach myself for exactly this age and older, I will tell you that nothing frustrates me more then a parent questioning playing time during a practice or after a practice.
   There may be some pointers that the coach can reveal as to why it is what it is, maybe the coach sees something you guys don't or in some cases, maybe the coach is just a jerk.
   The best thing about what your hub said is that she goes to practice everyday and shows up for every game. That is huge and will go along way. Hopefully, your daughter will continue on in high school as well and as long as she is commited and determined and has fun being a part of the team, her day will come as will her time to shine. Make sure she's prepared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck

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8. 56

   feenixposted 12 years ago

   In my opinion, when a child is a member of an athletic team, it is the parents' responsiblity to attend as many of the team's games as they possibly can, even in those cases when their child does not ever see any playing time at all.
   
   A child getting a lot of playing time is not what is important.
   
   What is important is children knowing that they have their parents' support, no matter what.

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9. 55

   aisha91posted 12 years ago

   I think you should talk to her and know if she is happy with what she is doing, if she or she is not, then make suggestions for her and support her more. Nah, you are good mother sassydee. Your daughter will see it and love you more.

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10. 73

    soconfidentposted 12 years ago

    both maybe she's not good enough and the coach only plays her because he/she feel they have to

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11. 59

    aniruddh10posted 12 years ago

    I have gone through the same phase years ago. when i was in 8th grade i started playing my first sport as basketball. i was on bench for about 1 year as i was not that good at it. i tried to make myself that capable that i would play in first five.
    i got what i wanted too but that didn't gave me that exposure. then i switched to football again i was on bench for about year and half and used to play only for 5mins at last in a 90 minutes game. I was frustrated too.i improved my skill and now after so many years of practice i play for a known club at divisions.
    i would suggest you to talk to your daughter weather she wants to continue her sport further, if she does then ask her to pay more attention towards game and improve. she will definitely start in first five.

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12. 61

    YvetteParkerposted 12 years ago

    How is your daughter feeling? What are her thoughts? As a parent, I remember being where you are now and thinking the exact same thing. It always seemed like there were so many demands and at times they seemed pointless with little payoff or reward; thus creating anxiety, impatience, and frustration. Looking back in retrospect (my youngest is now 21) I wonder why was I always so impatient, so frustrated, so aggravated. When you're in those situations it seems as though they will never end. However, they do and when they do; what are your memories? Could I have been more patient, less frustrated? Find a way to embrace these times and make the most of each day so that when they have passed---you and your daughter will have fond memories of her last year of middle school.

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