I live in a neighborhood where most of my friends are stay at home moms. In fact, this fall, every one of them is. When our group is together, they all have stories about their daytime shopping, cooking and school room helper adventures. They must be Superwoman. But I don't have these stories because I work outside the home. I work 40 hours a week and make slightly more than my husband and since we have 4 kids, staying home just isn't an option.
Don't think I don't dream about staying home. I absolutely do. (I got a chance at it for 6 months after i was laid off.) I'd like to be the mom who all the other kids and teachers know, but I haven't even met 2 of my kids' teachers this year. I'd love to have elaborate meals every night because I have time to shop and prepare for them, but I toss ingredients in a crock pot and leave. I'd love for my house to be a reflection of my Pinterest pin boards because I need to fill time during the day with fun projects, but my house is pretty barren and I'm sure everything was made in China.
I miss moments of teaching, coaching and molding my kids because I work outside the home. I miss field trips, plays, lunches and a whole bunch of "firsts," but I have to think that I do a lot of good for my kids by working.
First, I'm teaching them the ethics of working, and working hard to be the best you can be. I'm teaching my daughters that they can and should be self-sufficient and independent. I'm teaching them that having kids does not mean your life is over. I'm also teaching them that just because you have a job, doesn't mean you get everything you want. We want for a lot in my house. I don't define myself with my job because I am not my job. I am my kids mother, my husband's wife, and a best friend to all of them. I work in a Chaplain's office at a hospital, so I do some pretty important work that I get financially rewarded for but the best reward is hearing my daughters brag to their friends that I work in a hospital. I'm not a nurse or doctor, but to them, I'm a neurosurgeon just because I work in a hospital. And they want to be just like me when they grow up.
I still make their lunches, make dinner every night, have art nights, cookie making nights, movie nights and say prayers and read the Bible to them every night. I still go on dates with my husband, do his and everyone else's laundry, decorate for holidays and my house is almost always impeccably clean. And I work outside the home.
I'm sure if my husband ever got a huge promotion (he's a cop, so that will probably never happen), I would stay home with my youngest. But, I enjoy that I'm teaching all my kids that a woman's role is far more than a mother. It's the role of mother, wife, employee, friend, teacher, cleaner and well, it's Superwoman.
Yes It is the right thing to have each and every relation and job at its place. But teaching own kids is far more difficult than either job. I have also the Same idea to give the proper time to each and every assignment at it's time.
Madeline, I think you're doing great. Make sure you set aside a little time for you, though. Sounds like you're busy every moment of every day. Your kids will respect you for the effort you are making. I promise. Don't feel guilty for working outside the home. When my children became adults they had the same work ethic as I did and were far more committed and productive than many of their peers.
Of course they didn't think I was the perfect mother, although I think as they are getting older and seeing how many of their childhood friends are turning out, I am becoming a little closer to perfect in their eyes.
I am a working too and I tend to be workaholic but I see to it I still make a time for my kids and for myself. But there's no harder job than being a mom, spending quality time and teaching them but I know soon it will pay off, same to you my dear. God bless all the mom.
by LelahKimball 9 years ago
How do you decide to be a stay-at-home mom or a working mom?
by Habby 9 years ago
I am currently a SAHM and really value this role and the opportunity to invest in my children. My three children are all 5 and under, so I thought this was THE most important time to stay home with them. When this phase was over, I was thinking of going back to teaching. (I was an...
by Elayne 9 years ago
In your own opinion. Do you think a Busy Working Woman can be agood mother?With Mother's Day coming soon, how do you feel about this topic? I have always worked at least part time while my children were growing up. They all turned out pretty decent IMHO. Some feel that mothers should be home with...
by Rochelle Ann De Zoysa 6 years ago
A friend of mine said that the guy whom she's interested in doesn't like her though he's fond of her, because she's not posh. I'm just wondering what does it means?
by Peeples 7 years ago
What job and parenting advice would you give a SAHM going back to work?After staying home for 2 years with my children I will be returning to the workforce (hopefully). What advice can you give to help get readjusted to the life of working while feeling horrible that a daycare will be raising my...
by J Briceno 2 months ago
How can we master the work:life balance when being a single mother?
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
HubPages Inc, a part of Maven Inc.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|