Well your question has the answer in it. Ok let me put it this way: Isn't marriage for life? (I personally feel it is the whole attitude that "this is it" and for the rest of my life I have to learn to deal with this)
PS: I am aware of exceptions like abusive relationships and what I stated was my personal opinion about marriage(especially mine) and not an attempt to generalize marriage.
That's one of the most challenging questions, because so many people truly believe they marry the right person, only to discover, when/if big troubles come; it turns out there wasn't enough of foundation to the relationship after all. Some parts of people's personalities/coping styles, etc., don't show up until something happens that reveals them.
Maybe what people need to do is really, really, understand what "mature and well adjusted" is (and honestly ask if both people are mature and well adjusted), learn about how birth order can affect how a person deals with things, and learn about the other's family and how people dealt with things. Maybe, too, if there are even minor signs of something not being quite right in the relationship during dating; don't do the "well adjusted and reasonable thing" of overlooking such signs and thinking, "I can't expect it to be perfect." It should feel perfect if it's right.
Yup. I would say make love an act of will, not a feeling. Feelings are fickle, but if both of you are committed to marriage, it'll work great in the good times, and you'll be able to gut it out in the hard times. It's worked so far for us anyway!
First understand yourself. Then understand the purpose of marriage.. not only for sex.. just a companion for life full of emotions, ups and downs... Then understand your opposite. Place yourself in his or her position and then analyse their behaviour.. If you find it reasonable and you in that place would have done the same thing... then forgive and forget. Think that everyday you get a new life and learn to live as an youngster; make your partner happy and be happy yourself.
Emperor Akbar of India (17th century- ruled Delhi for 64 years) started a new religion called "Theene Ilahi" which preaches that we should place ourself in the opposite and analyse others' behaviour. What are all we hate, we should not do to others. Eventhough the religion has died, its preachings are fit for all seasons!
Commendable indeed! Please dont go in search of imperfect person... Select anyone and love him perfectly. If your love is perfect, there will be no need to worry about perfection of the opposite. Respect him... that will make him perfect.
The spouse's mistakes should be overlooked. Make her happy by turning every one of her/ his words as jokes and make her laugh whenever she tries to bite you. Even the harshest words should not be taken seriously... There are tactics to overturn their words against themselves. But before that find out where the mistake is... if it is yours, say sorry! If it is hers, take it into your mind and apply whenever she accuses you for the same mistake. Instant retarding will complicate things... Take breathe, select words and then apply. Men or women, everyone wants a cute and intelligent partners..... so, try to be more intelligent than her or him.
Ride out the bad times thinking about the good ones! It´s like a roller coaster ...grit your teeth during the scary parts. Treasure the moments, a kiss, a hug, and during the bad times go those "happy moments". But...it´s hard! (married 18 years this January arghhh!!!)
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