Teens can be difficult to raise. How can you get them to respect and listen?
first you lead by example and if it hasn't been something shown to them from the beginning or an earlier age-you have a hard row to hoe. I have 4 kids-three grown and out of the house and an 11 year old still at home.
regardless, I think clear defined boundaries and consequences need to be established and then you need to be committed and stick to them. That's a start. Continue to express your love and concern for their well being and be sure those are your motives not just control.
Best of luck!
family values are the key....if you start them off right, they will end up right.
You should have started when they were toddlers. Toddlers can learn to be respectful, follow rules, etc. It starts with the little things, like teaching them to say please and thank you, good table manners, not permitting temper tantrums and certainly never giving into the temper tantrums. This continues through early school and teaching them to be polite to classmates, to respect people's things and privacy, to act decently towards their siblings. Showing them you respect their privacy and life and thoughts works even better.
No child is ever perfect, as is no adult, but if the respect is had on both sides, you have much less problems with your teens.
I repected my children, and they respect me - I also made sure the rules were in place long before they hit the teenage years, and the rules may have gotten modified for age, but they were still there - clean up your own messes, do your homework, do your chores, call if you're going to be late, call if you're going to friends, take care of the pets, drop the back talk, leave your sibling and their friends alone unles they ask you along, etc.
I was loving and friendly with them, but I was a parent first - and as a parent, my job was/is to raise thinking, self sufficient, well mannered children to be those things as adults. I succeeded. No pregnancy scares, no drugs, no alcohol, no smoking. A few mishaps with forgotten calls or people not giving promised rides. My children are now decent adults.
I taught too many kids whose parents were all buddy-buddy with them until they hit puberty, and then for the first time in their lives, parents wanted to apply and enforce rules, Guess what? That doesn't work!
teach them the rules early on, know when they can be bent or broken, and listen to what your kids have to say first - you encourage honesty, you will get honesty.
I'm not saying they will never roll their eyes, act like doing the dishes is the most massive burden ever, slack off homework occasionally or do stupid things - we all did, it's part of learning. But you can lessen the effects of this by starting to be a parent when they are toddlers.
Thanks so much. Your answers are so deep and solid. I have learnt a great deal from them.
Much Respect. Cheers.
It ain't easy! Being a parent is a difficult task at times. The most important thing to remember IMHO is that what you want for yourself is probably what your teen wants for themselves. Try to negotiate and problem solve with them because you both have what the other wants.
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