my son is 3 years old what age would be best to tell him about his biological fa

Jump to Last Post 1-7 of 7 discussions (7 posts)
  1. profile image49
    jordie87posted 14 years ago

    my son is 3 years old what age would be best to tell him about his biological father

    his biological father has just started to pay an interest in him and taking me to court to do this my son already knows my husband as his daddy and think he is too young to be told yet as i am due to have another baby in 12weeks and he will be starting nursary in january.

  2. Lisa HW profile image63
    Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

    It sounds like you have a complicated situation there; and I would think your best bet would be to ask your pediatrician for a recommendation for a family therapist, from whom you could get sound advice.  Someone else who may be able to offer you some kind of guidance may be someone through the court.  Maybe you should call the court clerk's office and ask whether a social worker or psychologist will/may be brought into the case.  Another potentially helpful person (that you either have or need) would be an attorney.  An attorney could probably also recommend a social worker or psychologist who might best know how to handle telling (or not telling) your son right now.

    Not that your son has necessarily been adopted by your husband (but just as a guideline), in the case of adopted children it is generally believed that telling them they are adopted as young as possible is best.  I would think, regardless of your situation, something similar may apply.  With the baby coming, though,  I can see how you would be particularly concerned.

    If your son was adopted by your husband that would mean the biological father had already had his parental rights terminated.  If your son was not adopted, but you've allowed him to believe your husband is his father, then you've created a complicated situation.  Particularly because a new baby is on the way, I think it might be helpful to you and your son if you sought the advice of a professional on this.

  3. profile image0
    BIKTMIAposted 14 years ago

    That is a complicated issue to decide upon.  When I found out young that I was not a biological child to my adopted parents it changed everything inwardly for me.  To many un answered questions its opens up.    I still think it is better to hear it from the parent than from someone else the correct age,   that really is a decision I think measuring depending upon do you feel your child will recieve it well or not . I wouldn't advise a change at such a young age to much to handle. Timing is a big factor. Reviewing all that is currently present in your life.

  4. nsc profile image58
    nscposted 14 years ago

    Tell your son when you are ready or when your son starts asking. He is 2 and him starting school and you about to have a baby has nothing to do with a new man being introduced to his life, IN FACT, he is so young...he wouldn't even remember his dad NOT being his father.

    This will only help him later to not have to deal with drama from all aspects of a seperated home.

    He can call both of the men Dad, he will decide which one he feels is more his father as his relationships develop with both of the men.

    Sometimes you need to stop controling a situation in order to gain control of a situation.

    Your son has every right to know who his father is and let him spend time with him...Take your resentment out of the equation.

    If your son is not in danger by being with his dad, then you should do the right thing.

    Point is he will be loved, by everyone, and that's all he needs to grow and be a wonderful person.

  5. xpressionz profile image61
    xpressionzposted 14 years ago

    coming from experience i would say as soon as you feel comfortable with your son knowing this info and if he is able to understand it all. my experience was that the man i had called dad all my life and still do was actually no relation of mine at all but him and his wife adopted me from birth in 1985 sadly his wife (my mum) passed away in 1986 when i was only 1 so i never knew her but my dad told me when i was 5 that he had adopted me and he told me of my biological family... today i live in australia close to my biological mum and siblings my adopted father passed in 2002 and i have only just found out who my real dad is...not that the one i have will ever be replaced...but im 24 now and feel that ill never meet or get to know my real dad cause too many years have passed and i never knew how to find him till now...

  6. ElderRedwood profile image61
    ElderRedwoodposted 13 years ago

    The fact that his biological father wants court action to claim his child make the issue less complicated. It is important that the child knows his or her biological father and since you are being forced into making that decision  at this early age,... read more

  7. lavanyasenthil profile image58
    lavanyasenthilposted 12 years ago

    once u are hundred percent sure your son he can accept this and this will don have any sort of mental effect on him u can tell him. else wait for the right time. even it may take months to years but it is all your son who is important take care not to hurt him


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)