How would you feel if you were told at 50 years old that your father really wasn

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   4fathersposted 12 years ago

   How would you feel if you were told at 50 years old that your father really wasn't your father?

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   Marseiposted 12 years ago

   Amazed because my mom was the biggest prude who ever lived.  I cannot even imagine that happening.  It's beyond comprehension.

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      4fathersposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks so much.

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   Traci21posted 12 years ago

   I'm not sure. My father passed when I was young. I do not remember to much about him.

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      4fathersposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Sorry to hear that, I hope you found a great substitute.  Thanks much.

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   onegoodwomanposted 12 years ago

   I really can not imagine this...............
   
   Having been a  " Daddy's girl"..............I hope that my loyalty to the man who taught me to ride a bicycle, bait a hook, drive a stick shift, stood between me and several big brothers.. taught me to dance..........and a host of other things............would not be shaken.
   
   But, I really can not imagine, with any reality, of such news.
   
   
   My own big brother said the thing that stands in my memory, regarding his " step children"
   
   
   I feed them, I shelter them, I provide for them, and I teach them. and they live under my protection..............they ARE my children.

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      4fathersposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wow, thank you for your answer...food for thought. Thank you.

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      gmwilliamsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Amen to that!

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   brsmom68posted 12 years ago

   I think I would be shaken, upset and have a ton of questions...but the bottom line is my Dad has always been there when I needed help. Now that he is older I am helping him where I can; I don't think that would change anything in our relationship.

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   vespawoolfposted 12 years ago

   Devastated. A few days later, I'd pick up the pieces and realize that a father is more than a person who just passes on his genes. A father is the person who cares about us, the one who helps us when we are sick, the one who feeds us and listens to our problems. He doesn't have to be perfect, but he's there for us when we need him. Would I look for my biological father? I don't know. But I wouldn't forget everything my real father did for me.

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   Steadman11posted 12 years ago

   Hurt and confused would be my first reaction. Why was this information not shared with you sooner? I would also be disappointed in those who knew this and did not share, as it is something that you should have known long before. What if there had been medical history related to your biological father that you would need to know? You should have been given the opportunity to know your biological father, as well. I'm sure that there was a reason that the information was denied you, but at the same time, you should have been allowed the opportunity to know the truth and make your own decision about your biological father.
   
   After the hurt passes, however, I would realize that my father is the one who taught me softball, took me to girl scouts, and surprised me in Kindergarten when he returned from Saudi Arabia. My father is the one who taught me to cook, pushed me to succeed, and threatened my boyfriends when he thought they weren't good enough. I don't need to share blood with the man that has always been there for me, and just because another man is my biological father, doesn't change the relationship I have with the one that was by my side.
   
   As a side note, I have 2 sons, one who is biologically mine, and one that is biologically my husbands. At the moment, they only know us as being their parents, and don't realize that they are not biologically related. They aren't old enough to understand, but when they are, we will sit them down and explain to them about their biological parents who are not in their lives. We want them to have the opportunity to seek them out, if they want, and ask them the questions that they are bound to have. Although it will be difficult for us, as well as for them, this is not something that should be taken away from them. It should be their decision, not ours. Just as it should have been your decision, not your parents. I hope that you still have the opportunity to meet your biological father, and answer those questions.

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   darklandposted 12 years ago

   I never had a father that I can remember.  I adopted fathers, many of them made wonderful efforts to teach me and show me how to become a man.  If your dad was a good one who looked out for you and took care of you, and knew you weren't his, be very grateful.  My father left and never looked back as so many others have.  Yours valued you enough to step in and love you without caring. I guess I'm assuming he knew he wasn't your father, but either way he stayed and not everyone can say that.

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   sassydeeposted 12 years ago

   wow I would probably feel very upset and confused.

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