just askin

1. 52

   maisan0107posted 16 years ago

   i am married for 3 years with my husband im 27 and his 40, is it normal for not having sex for almost 6month?

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   1. 0

      fierycjposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Quite simply. No. It isn't normal.

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   2. 60

      Davinagirl3posted 16 years agoin reply to this

      Your best bet is to talk to your husband about it.  He may have a low sex drive, so you have to be very understanding to whatever he may tell you.  If he refuses to talk, at all, then I would worry.  Try talking to him.

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   3. 87

      Marisa Wrightposted 16 years agoin reply to this

      No, it's not normal, but that doesn't mean it's not OK.  If you both have a low sex drive and are happy not having sex, then there's nothing to worry about. 
      
      However, if you're missing the sex, then you need to let your husband know.  There's no reason why you can't make the first move, you know.  Buy some sexy underwear, cook him a nice meal (not too much wine though!), and seduce him.  If he's genuinely lost interest in sex, you'll soon find out - but if he hasn't, it's a good way to re-ignite the spark. If it turns out he has some kind of performance problem, then be very, very understanding, don't criticise, and show your appreciation for the cuddles.
      
      Unfortunately there is another possible reason for your husband not wanting sex with you.  He may be seeing someone else.  If he is, then there are probably other signs that you're trying not to see.

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2. 64

   Lisa HWposted 16 years ago

   Some tv program (like PrimeTime, Dateline, 20/20 - or one of those) did a feature on married couples who just don't have sex.  Apparently, a lot don't.  Some made the decision.  For others it was just a matter of not being all that interested.  Apparently, a lot of people can be happy in a marriage without it.  The trouble is when only one person is happy enough without it.  They even talked about people being pretty much "asexual", as well as people with low libidos versus high.
   
   Most people (not those in that tv program) think it's a sign of trouble in a marriage.  Maybe the real question shouldn't be whether it's normal, but how happy/unhappy both partners are with the situation.
   
   It's something people should talk about together and/or with a counselor together (or at least with a counselor by yourself).  It could be that the uninterested person has something like depression and is dealing with his/her own "issues" in isolation.  In the meantime, the "overlooked" person can think it's they their spouse isn't interested in.  Essentially, if one person is feeling "slighted" in that department, it isn't good.  Your husband's age could play some part in the "issue".  Particularly if you can't talk about with your husband (or don't feel he'll give you an honest answer), you should really talk to a professional by yourself as a starting point.  It's something a lot of people don't talk about because they don't think they're spouse is being honest, and they don't want their friends/close relatives to think their spouse isn't interested in them.  They can end up living in isolation.  Essentially, fierycj is right (with the exception of those people in the tv program and others who are happy with their situation).

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3. 52

   maisan0107posted 16 years ago

   fiery, lisa, marisa, davina thank you for the advise, i will try to do that, like what you said buying seductive undies, etc

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