Would you say something to a pregnant woman who is drinking alcohol?

1. 60

   Valerie Fposted 15 years ago

   It may be her body, her choice, but her rights end when she puts her baby's life and well-being on the line... for what? For a few drinks?
   
   If she can't or is unwilling to quit drinking for her baby's sake, if she gets angry and defensive about it, I wouldn't stop at just a few words. She may need an intervention and treatment for alcoholism.

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2. 76

   Mighty Momposted 15 years ago

   Coming in late but will put in my two cents, also.
   If the woman is "drinking like a fish" that sounds like excessive drinking. Yes, "our" mothers drank and smoked during their pregnancies, but that was before they knew of the medical dangers to the fetus.
   
   It could be this woman either does not know that she is potentially harming her baby OR she thought she could stop or cut down but is finding herself unable to do so. Either way, a harsh confrontation is not going to help her. I would suggest gently asking if she is having trouble stopping drinking during her pregnancy and if she would like some help. No judgment, just concern.
   
   Yes, I am aware that certain cultures -- including the wine folks out here in Napa Valley -- espouse the benefits of drinking wine during pregnancy. But there is a major difference between a glass or two of wine daily and "drinking like a fish." This woman does sound like her drinking is out of control.
   
   If she does not stop and continues to abuse alcohol during her pregnancy there is a good chance the hospital will confiscate her baby when she delivers. They do that if they detect drugs or alcohol in the newborn's blood. Just FYI...

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   1. 67

      Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      We never really got a clarification on what exactly drinking like a fish means in this particular case. And considering all the background, it very well might mean just this glass of wine for dinner, or even less.

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      1. 60

         NYMiskovicposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         To clarify, drinking "like a fish" means she is having atleast 1-2 drinks (beer, wine cooler) everyday.  Which to me seems excessive because I rarely drink.  Throw in the fact that she is pregnant and one drink within 9 months is too much for me.

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         1. 59

            goodfriendiamposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            First of all. Are you even sure you are angry at her? Or could it be that you are angry at the person somewhere in your past, that passed judgment on you at one time in your life? And now you feel the need, you feel driven to do the same to someone else. I know I have been there, receiving judgment and passing judgment. It might just be time for you to find new friends.

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            LondonGirlposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            I hardly ever drink, either, but this isn't fish-like drinking, come off it!

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         3. 67

            Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Thanks for clarifying this, before we all killed each other

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3. 61

   Gerard Danielsposted 15 years ago

   to NYMiskovic.
   i see that you are a caring friend and are in a tough spot that none of us want to be in; testing a friendship.
   if i have read correctly, it seems your friend has a minor drink or 2. I am no Dr of any type, but i do believe that that amount is most likely ' what the doctor ordered ' and i see no harm there. especially if she was a bigger drinker prior, cause this would take the edge off and be a helpful thing for both.
   but if you are still undecided, then suggest you and her to go down to see counsellor down at the Y or local community services just for someone for the both of you to talk too ( say you need help so you can help her if it helps) but only if it serious drinking. you can go on your own or phone for some signs and other things to watch for and THEN you can decide from there.
   
   to help a friend in need is to be a friend indeed

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4. 0

   LeM22posted 15 years ago

   I agree with my friends and colleagues in the medical and human services fields who say talk to her. Let her know your concerns. Find some good information. It's her life and she will be living with her child forever. She will have to deal with that part of it herself, but if you don't talk to her, you will also feel some guilt which isn't healthy. Time will then...tell.

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5. 76

   Mighty Momposted 15 years ago

   One to two drinks per day is definitely NOT drinking like a fish and will NOT in all likelihood harm the baby. Did you know that in the British Isles women are (or used to be) encouraged to drink Guinness daily because it contains nutrients?
   
   But if you know about the 1-2 drinks per day, it's possible that she is secretly drinking more when you're not around.
   
   I go back to having a heart-to-heart conversation with her asking in a CARING way about what her doctor has recommended to her about taking care of herself during drinking. If you are uncomfortable leading with the drinking question, ask about how much weight the doctor recommends she gain, how about caffeine? And then get around to "And is your ob/gyn one that thinks moderate consumption is ok? I know there are differences of opinion..." I think you will be able to tell a lot by her responses. Good luck.

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6. 67

   Mishaposted 15 years ago

   Hi Melanie, I missed you

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7. 0

   iamqweenbeeposted 15 years ago

   I would say something because the baby does not have a choice. Sometimes, your input could make all the difference in the world, sometimes not. But its worth a try at the baby's expense.
   
   Drinking like a fish is out of control. Unless someone else drinks like a fish, then they don't know the difference

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