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I really cant stand my brother in laws wife and i would feel bad but my husband doesnt like her...
either. she is loud,obnoxious ,very opionated ,and in my view very low class i cant take her anywhere with me without her causing a scene .my husband and i have 5 kids of our own and always end up paying for everything. we are fed up
Unfortunately you can't pick your family. It is what it is. Best way to handle it is ignoring her.
You need to be diplomatic with her. Relationships like these are so fragile that you cannot do anything straightforward as it can divide your family in halv es or your husband can get nervous. If you want to avoid that, become diplomatic and start using your mind as your guide. Regarding the monetary terms, if you all are sitting in a restaurant having dinner, when the time comes to pay the bills just tell your husband to slip to the loo at that time until the bill is paid by your brother in laws wife or her partner. Change your mind. Don't ask for a problem but solve them on your own. After some time, they will either stop asking you to pay for everything or they will not accompany you.
Best of luck.
I understand what you say, but you need to understand that everyone has not had the same opportunities and upbringing as you. Change the way you look at the problem...
This is your chance to make a difference, take her under your wings teach her to dress well, speak well and help her develop self esteem.
You being in close relationship with her have a greater influence over her thinking by showing real interest in helping her become a better person.
Do not make them dependant on you financially, help her to equip herself, qualify herself give her suggestions to improve her income.
Encourage independence and she will be your ally for life.
I wish you all the best....
That's the trouble with families, you don't get a choice, so you have to live with it.
It is always worth remembering this though, you may be as obnoxious to her as she is to you.
Look at the continuation of your question...
'she is loud,obnoxious, very opionated, and in my view very low class'
and you're not opinionated? Judge not.
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