I'm Gonna Beat Him Black and Blue!

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   fierycjposted 15 years ago

   Its my cousin - he thinks cos he's rolling with a gang and cos he's smoking blunt now that he can do whatever the hell he likes, like pop into my crib anytime he likes and steal my damn stuff! First it was my phones. Every time I replace them, he steals it again. And not kiddie phones, 3G and all that crap. Then my money, he even stole my ATM cards once, but couldn't figure out my PIN number so he slid them back before I would know they were gone. He tried to steal my gun for heaven's sake, my magnum, but I caught him and bitch slapped him out of his mind. He threatened he would kill me for it, I told him,bring it. He left, another time He dropped by and stole my camera. Now I've had it with my no-good-junky of a cousin. The rest of the family has been telling me to be tolerant. But imagine this kid is so mad, that one time my Mom came to visit he talked rude to her, and I had to smack him back to his senses! Next time he shows up here again, I'm gonna beat him black and blue - he wont know what hit him. Who thinks I'm overreacting?

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      rastrotherposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      not at all, if you need me to i'll come over and give you a hand. just kiddin

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         fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         No no no rastrother, no escape for ya now. I'm buying you a ticket. Just kidding....NOT! Ha ha ha ha

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            Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            send him to the usa

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               fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

               You kidding me. Everytime he drops by he switches the channels to BET on my satellite. He eats the whole gangster rap up. If he ever gets there - he'll look for the crips or the bloods! No kidding.

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      mdawson17posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      You are overacting the kid needs help not acts of violence! Someone in your family did not teach him good morals and values do you want to countinue to teach him more negative behaviors!

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         fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         I'm not teaching anything. He learnt it all himself. I'm just not letting him make a clown out of me. Apparently, you have no idea how the streets work. This isn't one of those cases where you just love em till they open up. Trust me, It doesn't work here. Thanks.

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   Mishaposted 15 years ago

   Shouldn't this go into religion forums? The other cheek and all that stuff?

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      fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      funny, maybe. Whats up, homes?

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         Mishaposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         That's what i tried to do. Not much mate, doing good, hope you too

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      candice5posted 15 years agoin reply to this

      No I can think of another place for it, What on earth is a Crib, I saw it on Flavor of Love, he kept referring to his crib. Also How can a fella, Bitch slap someone, isn't that a female thing?
      I am laughing but this is in a foreign language. Too much slang, You have to write these in English

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   Joelle Burnetteposted 15 years ago

   Try some tough love.
   
   We have a relative who had a son with a drug problem, was in and out of jail, knocked up a girl when he was in his early teens, etc. Eventually, he kept robbing his own parents home, stealing out of his mother's purse if she didn't immediately lock it up in a safe when she got home (yes, he was living with his parents when he wasn't in jail or rehab).
   
   His life spiralled until he finally killed himself in his parent's garage.
   
   Tough love...kick him out. But (a very important caveat) try to get him some help through your local county services. See what they can offer before he does something really stupid.
   
   I feel for your situation...there's no easy solution.
   
   By the way...how old is your cousin?

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      fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      He's 21

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   packerpackposted 15 years ago

   I do not think you are over-reacting in anyway. Going by his behavior I think he is in his teens or have just com out of it. But somehow I think beating him will not solve the issue, in fact it will complicate the whole thing even more. Why don't you talk to his parents? We were all in our teens once and we all know how people feel during those days. So I think you need to find some better and more effective way to deal with the situation. Raising hand is the last (or rather non-existent) solution in my books!

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   earnestshubposted 15 years ago

   Hey fiery if he is shucked out on smack hitting him won't hurt him! Also with violence you could take his eye out, or if you hit him he could fall, hit his head on something and die.I can sure understand how you feel though. I am a lot older and although I have had a similar experience with an ex friend, I never hit him.
   Just vent mate, then have a cool headed look at what else you can do that is less dangerous to your well being. just my view.Good luck mate!

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      fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      You're right. But the kid doesn't listen to reason. He's not one of those type of dudes you can sit down and talk with, you know, reason things out. He thinks he's a gangster for heaven's sake. He's lucky I'm nice these days - I would have shown him a thing or two about a 'gangster' beat-up. But you're right - its always mature to let things slide. Only thing wrong with it here is he'll mistake it for weakness and will try something again, and I'll still be provoked to giving it to him again. Its a complex thing, really.

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         earnestshubposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Yeh, gotcha fiery, I had not considered talking to him though, you are right, that may be a waste of time. Maybe draft him in to the armed forces!

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            fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            Ha ha ha. You know what, ernest...he's in college, studying Music. You would never guess. He wants to be a rapper. Everytime he walks into my house he's switching channels to BET on my satellite. He cant get enough of that stuff.

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   badcompany99posted 15 years ago

   I am just glad I didn't know you when you weren't nice lol, chill my friend and enjoy yer day

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      fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, and I plan to. I've got it all planned. (rubs palms together in relish)

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         candice5posted 15 years agoin reply to this

         Why do you rub your palms with Chutney, this is weird.

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            fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

            

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   Eaglekiwiposted 15 years ago

   Sigh ..family huh ,love 'em hate 'em 
   
   He obviously needs money ( coz you got all the blingy stuff) so he needs a part time job right?
   
   If he doesnt wanna pay for his ahem 'pleasures' best he learn about the real world now,  and send him packing!
   
   He is old enough to learn (unless hes been babied) how to stand on his own two feet.
   
   Quit enabling him.
   
   Love teaches

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   Lady_Eposted 15 years ago

   You are over reacting Bruv, but that’s cos your so cheesed off  at the moment.
   
   My suggestion - Beating doesn’t resolve issues and why do you keep on buying new phones everytime he steals it?  Ask him to return it and don’t let him near the house until he gives it back to you.  Have you considered putting a lock on your bedroom door so even when he does come round he has no access to your personal stuff?
   
   Find a suitable time, (when your both not tensed up) talk to him – Man to man. 
   
   He’s not a friend, he is family.

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   fierycjposted 15 years ago

   @eaglekiwi. I laugh at the thought of that lazy kid getting a job. He's the most irresponsible person you'll ever know. I have no words to describe it. Worst part is, I'm the only one in the family who knows just how much of a screw-up he really is. Everyone else just plays dumb.
   @lady_E. Good advice. But you dont know this guy. First I've sat him down and done the man to man thing, doesnt work. I've threatened to call the cops on him, doesnt work. Everything you do makes him more bent on being evil. As for the phones, He hasn't admitted to taking them till date. He swears by it. As for the locks, tried it, he simply broke the locks. He's a crook. How do I describe this. Okay, to him I'm just his ticket to freebies! He has no concept whatsoever of what family values entails. Being one blood doesn't mean squat to him. I've got this strong feeling that he'll do something crazy in the future, something really terrible, if I dont find a solution Fast!

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      Eaglekiwiposted 15 years agoin reply to this

      He does sound spoiled , I wouldnt say lazy , maybe misguided lol
      My son is 18 yrs old , last year at High School , and hes been working after school for a year now...He even saved $2,000, mind you hes a good saver ( better than I ever was at that age.
      But no-one gives him anything (cept birthdays), hes learned to save and buy for himself...
      
      And hes the nicest kid ,truly ,struggles a bit at school , but he turns up every day , and hes a great worker. Its not fun cleaning up blood n guts ( Meat store) but he likes money so he does it.
      
      Cut this cousins 'goodies' supply , he is too spoiled.
      I think hes learned that family will feel sorry for him , and give in to him. He is using them sadly.
      If anyone loves him ,truly loves him, nip it in the bud now!

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         fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

         That's what I'm doing and thats what I'm trying to get the rest of the extended family to do. Luckily now my Pops and Ma see eye to eye with me on this. Had a talk with them last weekend. He's scared of my Pops, he got wind of my discussing with them and hasn't shown up since. I enjoyed an empty house. Ha ha ha gotta love the old man - he's a lion!

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    Jane@CMposted 15 years ago

    With what you've said, I'd buy a safe, that he can't get into.  Store your valuables in there.  Hide it somewhere in the house that he normally would not go. Don't tell anyone you bought the safe.
    
    I know of several parents who have gone through this CJ and sometimes simply nothing works.  My friends son got beaten up really badly and still wants to hang in the same neighborhood he got beat up in and wear his "colors".  The kid is 22.
    
    My husband calls this age (between 13-26) the idiot stage, nothing you say or do changes minds.
    
    Hopefully he'll find a place at school and the music will take him away and distract his behavior.  Until then....pray

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       fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       I got a safe for my gun, and I'm currently hiding it. To be honest, I'm doing my best to ensure he doesn't lay a finger on that. As for other valuables, that's gonna be a pretty big safe. Lol.

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    tinkerbell09posted 15 years ago

    Kick him out and keep him out.  Get a restraining order if you have to.  It may seem like a snitch thing to do, but if you want him away from your house, that may be the way to do it.  That way, if you know for a fact that he's been in your home to take something even though you kicked him out, the cops will find him when you press charges for trespassing.
    
    I don't know how many friends he has, but if they are all dangerous, hope that they don't try to get at you for doing this.  With the way your cousin acts, I wouldn't put it past him to have you jumped just for the fact that you have a restraining order (dealing with cops).
    
    Hope and pray that this helps you.  That is the only way I know to deal with a person like that.

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       fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Yes he has dangerous friends. But I'm not afraid of those kids. I've seen far more dangerous people. Real Killers. By the way 'the boyz in the hood' know better than to try and jump me. Oh they know better. Thanks for the advice though.

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    Ghost32posted 15 years ago

    Don't envy you, CJ.  Don't have a wise answer, just don't envy you.  Sounds like he's on his way to either prison or an early grave unless the proverbial miracle happens and your job is to figure out how the %@!! to survive without him taking you down with you.
    
    A few weeks ago, I had to run off a 21 year old who gets "moody" (as our son, the only friend he has who has much influence with him, puts it).  The idiot challenged me face to face on my own land, and you're right--let that slide and they see you as weak, and then it's Katie bar the door.
    
    But we've got a huge advantage over your situation in that this kid is not likely to return unless Zach (our son, with whom this guy currently lives) knows he (the weird one) is having a good day, because Zach does respect me and because his schizoid buddy may have actually gotten intimidated a little after the last go-round.
    
    In your situation, though, wow.  I noticed one Post mentioned a restraining order, but you and I both know this guy won't even bother to use something like that to wipe his tail--it's literally not worth the paper it's written on to a wannabe ganger.
    
    Good luck, and watch your back. Literally.

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       fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       You got it spot on, Ghost. Have you met my cousin? Lol. Seriously, thanks. I watch my back fine.

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    Daniel Carterposted 15 years ago

    This is a really tough one, cj. I think getting a safe as suggested is about as good as anything. As long as he can't take the safe, so that means it's gotta be a big one and those suckers cost a few dinero. I think you're right about the cops and all. He's a petty thief for now and they're not going to take your accusations for petty crimes very seriously. I don't suppose moving is an option? Probably not. I know how complicated that can get. Maybe if you can't get a safe to store valuables in, you might have a safe place--another family member or friend he doesn't have access to--to keep things until you need to get to them.
    
    I've seen this kinda stuff before with a few family members. There is no conscience in them at all. And usually the fuze is really short, and they do something incredibly stupid as you've predicted and the rest of their life is nightmare. It seems no one can really get to them to help them.
    
    I wouldn't slap him or assault him again. Only make sure he never gets into your place, or make sure you have witnesses when you have to get him out. Witnesses are pretty crucial in these situations.

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       fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Wise man, Daniel. I get what you're saying about the witnesses. The truth is, he acts like an angel when people are around. You wouldn't believe it. People think I'm the psycho when I tell them he's a junky. Seriously can you believe it, he's playing me. Never thought anyone could do that, straight A student and all, back in the day.

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    BrianFanslauposted 15 years ago

    Time for Rehab for your cousin. I would beat the snot out of him myself if he kept doing this screw what your family says about being tolerant. give him the monopoly card straight to jail next time you know whats up.
    
    Be sure he didn't know you called them though or change your locks.
    
    cut him off from money and he will either stop bothering you or turn into a charity case.
    
    I don't know what you should do exactly it is different with everyone but I do not tolerate hard drugs. a little weed maybe but nothing more.

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       fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Whenever he's around, I ransack my house like a forensic cop, just to make sure he aint stashing any yeyo or heroin or something. I dont wanna have him bring heat with the cops, then they come and arrest me as well. I dont need that shit. So here's what I did, I already made a formal report at the station, so in case that happens, they know it aint me. Ha!

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       fierycjposted 15 years agoin reply to this

       Whenever he's around, I ransack my house like a forensic cop, just to make sure he aint stashing any yeyo or heroin or something. I dont wanna have him bring heat with the cops, then they come and arrest me as well. I dont need that shit. So here's what I did, I already made a formal report at the station, so in case that happens, they know it aint me. Ha!

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