How do you cope when your parent recently divorce? Any help out there? I need a whole lot'em
the most important thing is to remember that it's not your fault. Mine divorced when I was 8, it took me ages to stop blaming myself. It also helps if you don't get dragged into the middle of court proceedings, which unfortunately wasn't offered to me, I was bang in the middle of it. But that's your parents thing to decide.
First and foremost - It's Not about You. But coping skills differ depending on your age. So how old are you? Whatever you do don't play this two people against each other for your gain. The process of making a divorce work peacefully is hard enough. Don't allow your parents to use you as a communication device. It's not your divorce. Don't allow them to bad mouth the other to you. Just walk lovingly away - it's not your divorce. And love each of them as you did before. Even if they make choices you don't approve of, it's not your divorce. I hope that is helpful.
I can suggest that you begin to understand and learn that life isn't perfect. Sometimes no one wants to take blame or be blamed. People will forever make mistakes and make choices that will disappoint you as well as make you sad. But at the end of the day if you can accept certain things for what they are and learn from it. Pain and Disappointments will be far and few between
My parents divorced when I was 18. Most of my childhood was lived within the tension of them hating each other, fighting, getting close to breaking up, getting back together, and so on. I spent the early years of my own marriage in fear. Trying hard to do everything the opposite way my parents did led to a lot of overcompensation and a different type of dysfunction. I finally learned to cope when I came to an understand that not everything my parents did was wrong. There were some things that they did well and those were the things that I needed to hang onto. At first it was hard for me to find one thing that each of my parents did that was right, but eventually, I was able to realize more. I know every situation is different, but I believe that if you can hang on to something, anything, that is positive, you can make it through.
Every other answer on this page is 100% correct as well. I hope you find the peace you are looking for. I will be praying for you.
I wish I knew. My parents split when I was 14. My mother was fine, went on lived her life, and was happy.
20 years later, my father is still a train wreck.
Personally, I separated myself from the situation because they were at eachother's throats, and trying to use me as leverage. So I moved in with a friend of mine until it cooled down. My mom split town (and the state) my father drank himself almost to death.
I never returned home.
My heart of appreciation shouts out to Lisabeaman, reeltaulk, kcMama, loneparent and nefarious for your kind, emotional, sincere and trustworthy answers. I am so blessed having friends so intellectually endowed. Bravo to y'all and all who contributed to this question. Remain blessed
I think the best way is to think their way. you should realize the necessity of their getting separated.
I don't want to be philosophical.. but there is a saying
"It's better to leave the shattered pieces of a glass the way it is,to fix it again would only hurt and tear you ."
Some relationships are better if they are left the way they are. If you try to make up the things again it would only hurt you just the way a shattered glass piece does.
Again, it's their life . You should let them go the way they want.You should carry on with your own life..
If you can't make the things perfect b/w your parents parents . At least try to to make them decent enough for the future!
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