How do I become a better step mom to him?

Jump to Last Post 1-5 of 5 discussions (5 posts)
  1. profile image49
    heatherblunkallposted 7 years ago

    How do I become a better step mom to him?

    Ive been a step mom to my 4 yr old step son sents he was 11 months old ... and im starting to find it hard to except that our relationship seems on edge all the time. Any advice ?

  2. nenytridiana profile image60
    nenytridianaposted 7 years ago

    I have my aunt in law has adopted a baby, now he is more then 20 years old. when the adopted baby was 10, my aunty had a first baby by her own. but till now my aunty never feel any deferent to give her love to both of her sons. She said one was bound by the the time and the other was bound by blood.

  3. kipronor profile image60
    kipronorposted 7 years ago

    the best thing is to understand first and foremost that you can never be his birth mother and that can never be argued about, this will remove any bitterness or regrets , this is a four year child and for him it is a preiod i a childs life when they learn alot. Children are said to be the worst listeners but the best observers , they watch your body language , your facial expressions and they listen to the tone of your voice every time you speak; that will determine t a large extent how they respond to you.

    the most important thing is tha tyou are the adult in this reationship and the child should know this fact so that you are not manipulated inot becoming angry or bitter, act warm to the son , speak to him with a reassuring voice and whenever they make a mistake, dont yell, simply but firmly make him understand that it was a mistake and it should never be reapeted, this will bring your mother -son relationship to a new level. dont bribe him with gifts that way he will always look  out for tokens and when they dont come he will get worked up and friction wont cease, tehrefore be the parent ok.
    All the best Hether.

  4. Lisa HW profile image67
    Lisa HWposted 7 years ago

    I think there are two many possible reasons/kinds of reasons that you could be feeling the way you do, and I don't think anyone on an Internet site can offer you solid suggestions (or at least not without more information than given).

    This probably isn't the kind of reply you want, but I really think you and your husband should set up an appointment with a counselor together.  Maybe it would only take a visit or two to get some solid input about whatever is going on/not going on.  Whether this is a little kid you see only on weekends usually or is one who hasn't got his own mother in the picture and is being raised by you - both two completely different types of situations.  Whether your husband is creating the situation or not, whether someone is expecting more of you than you have to give, whether its both you and your husband's child who feel "on the edge" (or just you), whether the child's mother has raised a child who is out-of-control, whether you're someone who isn't skilled at establishing a healthy respect from the child - all things that could create problems.

    Again, talking to a counselor about the issues; and approaching it from the standpoint of wanting to build a better relationship (rather than "having issues") is, I think, the most sensible thing to do.

  5. profile image53
    ggg123posted 7 years ago

    you should show loving care for him.when he did something wrong,you try to pardon himfor doing so.take care of his study and life. i believe you can get along well with each other.

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)