As a parent, where do you draw the line and tell your child to fight in school?
A child tells the teacher about the physical abuse but is dismissed and the abusing child continues due to no consequence. The parent approaches the principle about the situation but the teacher explains that they are unaware or the reason is the bully is unknown and again nothing is done. As a parent, one begins to feel frustrated because one can not protect their child while in school due to state law about parents in the classroom.
It depends on the type of abuse, I would say. In high school I was verbally abused and it sucked...but I never lashed out physically at anyone because there was no point in getting myself in trouble. As for physical abuse, if it is constant, then I would probably say it's okay for your child to defend his/herself. If he/she feels physically threatened...I don't see any problem with acting out of self defense.
I have heard of bullied kids filing assault charges with the police if the school won't do anything. It's better than a physical fight.
I would tell my kids, if someone hits you, hit them back but dont ever hit anyone unless they hit you first.
I have always taught my children not to hit unless they were being hit, however when the school does nothing about bullying, and the child is continuously harassed there comes a breaking point and I know this because My son was bullied from Kindergarten until the 4th grade from one student, I did everything, I drove him to school daily I talked to the school administrators and all I got was that no actions were taken so they had no proof so the last day of school my son wanted to ride the bus home so I allowed it .. This kid decided to start right away bullying my child well that was it my son hauled off and punched him in the mouth and of course the school called I simply said you have caused this I have asked on repeated occasions. They tried to say that in the beginning of the following year that my son would have to have disciplinary action brought against him ... We fought it and won. But I do not agree with fighting but if you are continuously asking for something to be done and nothing does and the child continues to harass your child then he has to stand up for himself.
Physical, Emotional, Verbal, "Defence" is always best. One has the right to defend onself equal to the attack of their attacker.
I thought self defense would be enough however, the school suspends both children regardless who initiated the fight. I thought having a paper trail would provide as an visual defense but the system requires too much time and the child loses before any response from the higher administration. I do believe calling the police and establishing a paper trail outside as well as inside the school district may attract enough attention to end future attacks or at least shine light on this very serious issue.
What a HARD question!!!
Where to teach our children to draw the line.........
Under what circumstances, should they do so?
What if their " line" is different from my own?
WOW...........so many things to consider, debate, and teach.
In the end, I will tell my daughter ( I have 3 )...........
When you have no more to give, no more understanding, no more compassion, no more excuses for the other person's behavior
When you are under physical threat,
When you just have that " gut " feeling of standing up NOW, or forever bowing down.....
When you just HAVE to stand face to face with those who intimidate you.......
When you KNOW that you are just, and the other person is an agressor
When you know that THIS moment will follow you for a lifetime..........
Protect all others, but never fail to protect your own sweet self.
Under NO circumstances, would I scold my child for defending her person, or her sister's.
I think as a parent you have to teach your children how to protect themselves from any form of abuse, but sometimes a child can not handle the pressure of all the abuse that the people in this world bring to others ....But leaving a paper trail by reporting it to the proper people that can help stop this abuse is a good, like the police, school officals even bringing a lawyer to help get thing done, because no one should have to deal with any type of abuse, people who abuse are people who have been abused themselves or are just cowards, but I believe it should be stopped as soon as it happens.
In Florida there is a rule that it doesn't matter who starts the fight ALL PARTIES WILL BE EXPELLED. Which is a dumb rule especially if one has to defend himself. So I told my kids NEVER-EVER start a fight, however, if they become engaged in one through no fault of their own - to go down swinging and take whoever out because they were gonna be in trouble anyway. Fortunately my kids never had to do that and I'm proud of them for that.
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