How do you deal with the frustration of a toddler's temper tantrums?
I have a toddler that tries this alot. I take everything from him and put him in his bed. Let them scream till they get it out. If you are out in public. I take him out of the store or wherever and take him to the car. After our little talk an possibly a pop, we're good.
'Normally I will ignore and wait till toddler keeps calm. Though toddler cannot understand too much, yet I will tell him that he has done something wrong. He must change his temper. I believe he can understand. 'This is my mom's secret.
Whatever you do, don't let the child see that they have frustrated or upset you. Be very business-like in your response. If in public, remove them immediately to the car and sit with them, keeping them safe until they calm down.
Never respond to the tantrum with your own temper, that will only escalate the drama.
I like fosginger's approach and put them in their bed, or a safe place until they calm down. If possible go on about your business, making sure the child is safe. They have to know that you are not going to be affected by this tantrum or you will see many more and also it can create a bully--a child who gets his way by force.
in a store incident: be clear BEFORE walking in the store that you won't tolerate the behavior.. my son is 2 and he does not act like a spoiled brat in stores.. we have always taught him that it is NOT ok...
but where ever you are and whoever may surround you be sure you are consistant. if not your toddler will walk all over you- believe me.
Children seem to be born knowing how to throw temper tantrums. And the first few times they do, we think it is cute. By the time we realize that was a mistake, the behavior has gotten way out of hand. Let me share with you how I handled this problem. read more
I stopped tantrums before they got started. I looked at them critically, and told them they were not doing it right. Started coaching them on how to properly throw a tantrum. They started laughing and never tried it again. It didn't do them any good. Got the idea from the Andy Griffith Show and it worked. It surprised me.
My daughter (almost 11 years old now) had frequent tantrums as a toddler, to the point that it was a daily occurrence which left me feeling like a failure as a mother. She would scream, hit herself and go rigid, hold her breath. She seemed to do it in crowded places too, which made me feel worse as I couldn't stop them.
Toddlers are at an age where they are frustrated because they have all these emotions and don't know how to express themselves. They are very clever, and sometimes use tantrums to get attention, or rebel when they don't get what they want.
I would ignore the bad behavior and reward good behavior. She loved visiting the local swimming pool, so as a nursery nurse, I used bribery in the form of a reward chart. If she went a day being good (I allowed for the odd wobble!) then I would reward her with a sticker, which she put on the chart. At the end of the week, if she had 5 stickers, we would go to the swimming pool on Saturday. I always would make sure that it was something positive that she could respond to e.g. activities involving baking, crafts, visits to park etc.
Time out on the "naughty" step for two minutes was successful too. I set up and ran a local playgroup at our local church, which she loved. She had the social element and loved the activities. I found that she loved to help out, by setting the table, collecting empty tumblers and helping clear away the toys.
You could try giving your child some little but achievable targets and when they complete the task, give him/her plenty of praise and a sticker. They like to be independent and do things for themselves, so letting children help is good for building confidence and self esteem. Praise and encouragement will help them to learn that positive behavior is better than negative attention.
When my four year old throw a tantrum I ignore her and walk away. Cause I pay no mind to it they don't last long and she doesn't do it often. She never does it in public cause I do walk away and I hide some where, where I can see her but she can't see me. Once she realized that she gets no attention from me when throwing one she stops. When she is frustrated and wants to throw one but doesn't I award her for her good behavior.
by Brenda Trott, M.Ed 7 years ago
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by carlacitarelli 7 years ago
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