Telling your child they are pretty...
Do you think it is appropriate to tell your child they are pretty?
If so, why do you tell your child they are pretty?
If not, why don't you?
Please, keep this short and to the point.
sure, why wouldn't I if it were true. And, I wouldn't NOT tell a child they are pretty if they were less than that because there is always something to find appealing about every person. Heck, this is a child and they need to have positive messages given to them by people they trust - there's enough naysayers in the world that they will eventually meet who will want to knock them down.
A child's self esteem grows through positive remarks. But, a child also needs to know that it is not outward beauty that is the real priceless gem-that's just the image we project in our 'beautiful' focused society.
I think I would let my daughter know I think she is a special person, compliment her abilities and when she acts right and good. I don't know if I would really get into physical appearance because I wouldn't want her to think that it was an important thing. If she were a teen and it was in context, say she was commenting on herself and was being moody because a boy wouldn't notice her I would tell her I think she is a beautiful young lady and deserves someone that will treat her like she wants to be treated. Clear and to the point.
Yes. I told all three of my (now grown) kids that they were pretty/good looking (depending on whether it was my sons or daughter). They were, and they still are (and I still tell them from time to time). They're also people who have been raised to know that looks aren't the most important thing.
Why? Because other kids and teachers aren't usually going to tell kids they're good looking, so parents are kind of "it" when it comes to their hearing it. Lots of good looking children look in the mirror and don't really see how pretty they are. Those are kids who need parents to tell them; because even if they think their parents are "just saying that" because they love them, it will at least make them question their own dislike of their own appearance.
Some kids do like what they see in the mirror. Those kids need to be told too, however; because if they don't hear it from someone they may not trust their own judgment or what they think they see in the mirror. They may wonder if they're the only ones who see "pretty" in the mirror and wonder if there's something wrong with how they view themselves. They'll tend to reason it out this way: "If nobody ever said I'm pretty I'm probably not as pretty as I think I am. I'm not sure if what I see in the mirror is accurate or not." Not being able to trust what they see in the mirror is a bad thing. (One of the problems with anorexia is that girls look in the mirror and "see fat" when they're really thin. I can't say that not hearing they're pretty is the cause of that, but I do know that it's not good for a young person not to feel she can trust what she sees in the mirror.)
Absolutely. I have also told my children that I adore them and think they are wonderful. They will learn quickly that the entire world doesn't think so--but to know your family thinks you rock is invaluable. We are their safe place to fall. It is important for them to know how much you love them and it is part of our job as parents to help build self-esteem by giving them positive feedback on all kinds of things like art, chores, school work etc.
Yes, I do, I think that both my children are very pretty, so I tell them that all the time, besides I think it helps them gain self-confidence, just like telling them they are smart, fast, etc. Obviously, we shouldn't deceive them telling them they are something that they are not, but if we think they are... Also, it is a matter of taste or opinion, my opinion is that they are pretty, so I tell them, perhaps other people don't think so.
So, my follow up is this: What do you think happens if you have told a child they are pretty and as young adults (high school / college) they get into a car accident and are completely disfigured.
Do you think that having been told they are pretty/handsome growing up that this will impact their self-esteem?
If you do not tell your child they are pretty do you think this would have as much of an effect on them?
What is the definition of beauty? If it is physical attractiveness, then that is very subjective. I believe my children are beautiful (to me) and I do say so, but I don't believe they always ACT beautiful and I say so. Children need to learn that they present themselves to others as a whole package.
As for whether I would still tell them they are beautiful if they were disfigured in an accident, of course I would, for the same reasons. They would need love and support to overcome any outcome. My children will always be beautiful to me no matter what they look like and hopefully they will always know that.
What makes someone pretty? My children and I talk a lot about how personality can make people very pretty or very ugly, no matter what their outter shell shows. Before or after a tragic disfiguration, I believe it's what is on the inside that makes someone pretty. I also believe that as parents, it is up to us to support our child's self esteem - Spoil them with compliments! Great question to get you thinking!
by Karen Ranoni 9 years ago
Could you love someone who admitted to seriously disliking your children from a previous marriage?I just read a hub called "Why Nice Women Don't Like Step-Kids". This woman admits she hates her step children and I'm just curious- 1.If you found out your partner secretly hated your child...
by Paul Edmondson 16 years ago
Do you tell your daughters they are beautiful?
by Deborah-Diane 11 years ago
What are the worst lies parents and other adults tell kids, and why do you think they lie?I know that adults often lie about things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. However, how about when they tell scary stories to make kids behave, or when they lie about family problems? What...
by Margaret Ann Tyler Johnson 12 years ago
Why do parents get upset that their child/children have lied to them? Why was it okay for them to lie on their behalf? Do you as a parent firmly believe it's a difference between a little white lie, a good lie, or a partial lie?
by John 4 years ago
So I have a six-year-old daughter who constantly lies. It has gotten to the point where I can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. I've tried very hard to teach her how important telling the truth is and that it is a safety issue, but nothing is helping. I've just set up an appointment for...
by Kat 11 years ago
What is the worst possible thing your child could ever grow up to be (in your opinion)?Your pride & joy walks through your front door one day and announces "Mom, Dad, I'm a ______." Fill in the blank. What is the one thing that would just shake you to your core...
Copyright © 2024 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. HubPages® is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
Copyright © 2024 Maven Media Brands, LLC and respective owners.
As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.
For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy
Show DetailsNecessary | |
---|---|
HubPages Device ID | This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. |
Login | This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. |
Google Recaptcha | This is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy) |
Akismet | This is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Google Analytics | This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy) |
HubPages Traffic Pixel | This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. |
Amazon Web Services | This is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy) |
Cloudflare | This is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Hosted Libraries | Javascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy) |
Features | |
---|---|
Google Custom Search | This is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Maps | Some articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Google Charts | This is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy) |
Google AdSense Host API | This service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Google YouTube | Some articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Vimeo | Some articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy) |
Paypal | This is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Login | You can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy) |
Maven | This supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy) |
Marketing | |
---|---|
Google AdSense | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Google DoubleClick | Google provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Index Exchange | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Sovrn | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Facebook Ads | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Unified Ad Marketplace | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
AppNexus | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Openx | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Rubicon Project | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
TripleLift | This is an ad network. (Privacy Policy) |
Say Media | We partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy) |
Remarketing Pixels | We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites. |
Conversion Tracking Pixels | We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service. |
Statistics | |
---|---|
Author Google Analytics | This is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy) |
Comscore | ComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy) |
Amazon Tracking Pixel | Some articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy) |
Clicksco | This is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy) |