How to deal with a spoiled child, who always say no to food and school both?
I want suggestions on how to deal with a never satisfied child, who do not get happy with any thing done for him?
This greatly depends on the age of the child. No offense here but you can't get a child like that unless there is a reason behind it. You need to figure out why before you can fix the problem. I am a big fan of attachment parenting. Talk with your child, try to make him understand how much you care, then ask him what makes him happy. We know food and school can not be optional but if he is young you may want to figure out why he doesn't want to go to school. In children under 10 that is the first sign of being bullied. As for the food thing try giving him 2 healthy options. When given options (even if they are the ones you picked) children feel more in control and do better. We all need some control in our lives. As for the spoiled issue, don't let anyone fool you. Spoiled has nothing to do with growing up to be crap. Lack of parenting does that.
They will have to be forced to deal with the situations. Don't sit on them or continue when they cry. Sometimes they just do this for attention. If a child is crying and stops for a moment, they are just throwing a fit for show. They want you to feel sorry for them and to break you to go their way. So be firm and consistent but also point out the little things. For example, when they do something you want them to do, say "I liked the way you ____. That was very nice/wonderful/beautiful/etc". I deal with plenty of children spoiled by their parents and most of the time it just comes to a stand off. Who is in charge? The child or the adult.
Most of my students are one year up to 12.
Thanks for the answer! It is very difficult for me to be firm when my child cries in front of me. I think she knows that and use it to break me to go her way...
Yes, it is very difficult and know that you are not the only one out there dealing with this situation.
The problem is not usually the child, but the parent. Learn to hold on to your own emotions and let the child be discontent and cry, even tantrum. It won't kill them, and they will not 'hate' you forever. Child rearing is a combination of nurturing and frustrating the child. Too much nurture and not enough frustration equals a spoiled child, while too much frustration and not enough nurture equals a child with low self esteem and angry stance to life.
Learning when to nurture and when to frustrate is an art. 'Doing for' a child is always a bad idea; they need to learn to do things for themselves and hear the word 'no' when the word is appropriate.
Hello krillco, You are right, problem is the parent not the child. I like your idea of balancing the combination of nurturing and frustrating the child. I should learn to let my child cry and discontent when she throws tantrum. Best answer for me:)
It is in a child's nature to want to please you. If they turn into spoilt brats, it is because you let them. You need to be imaginative enough to always have a ready carrot up your sleeve to entice the child into doing something they don't want to do.
Never accuse or blame a child, use explanations instead.
A child copies your behaviour. Be calm, friendly, loving but firm. Allow them their own space and time to give them a chance to work things out for themselves.
Mention the positive sides of school (fun, friends, nice teacher, lovely equipment etc.) Praise works too: "You are so good at drawing, why don't yo bring back a drawing for me that you made at school? That would make me so happy."
Don't have forbidden (bad) foods in the house. When the child gets hungry it will eat, don't worry.
Make up your own short bed time stories specifically about the hassles that happened during the day, make them funny and include the moral side of things.
If all else fails, be firm, strong but not brutal. "Go and have some time by yourself to think about it in your room. When you are calm, we'll play a game."
Hello sue, Very sweet baby in the picture!! I agree that be firm not brutal. Many times while dealing with a soiled child, we loose temperament to that extent that we look like a spoiled brat instead of child. I will surely keep this in mind.
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