Do you think being a foster parent should be a good deed or a career?

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   Do you think being a foster parent should be a good deed or a career?
   
   Maybe I'm biased, but after a comment on one of my hubs I wanted to see what others thought. Do you think being a foster parent should be a career or a good deed?

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   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   A good deed. From what I've seen, those who make it a career do not give the children the care and love that the children deserve and need. It is as if they are only fostering children for that check every month. Not being judgmental, just from what I have personally seen.

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      Jane Holmesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      To be sure, there are people out there that look at it for the check that comes in. However, if you do anything, at all, for the children you sure don't make any money. It actually cost us money because we insisted on  doing the same for these childr

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   Mommy Maileposted 11 years ago

   The really good foster parents that I know say that it was their hearts desire to take this children in. They may have had to penny pinch or go on a tight budget to make it but giving these children a good home for however long they are needed is what they feel they are suppose to do. I have seen "career foster parents" and the kids aren't as well taken care of and aren't as happy. With a career you feel it's a job, it's just something you have to do, but if it's a good deed or a calling you have to do it because your whole heart wants to take care of and love these kids. So I guess my short answer is it should be a good deed.

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   Jane Holmesposted 11 years ago

   I actually think it could be both. We started out wanting to help children and ended up doing it for 24 years - so I guess it became a career for me.  It is a big responsibility - you go to the ends of the earth for them, just as you do your biological children. You fall in love with them - some you can adopt - some you can't. They all become a permanent part of your life. There are many challenges dealing with these children, but if you can make their life better in any way, its worth every minute.

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   windygreenposted 11 years ago

   I think being a foster parent should be the same as being a teacher.......
   
   The reason for aspiring to either should be the love and/or desire to help children ... and/or  that by helping children you better not only the child, but the community, nation, and world...   
   
   Its not an endevour one should take on for money ...or fame .. or glory.   
   
   However, with that said ,,,, I think also that the reality is that being a GOOD foster parent ,,, just as being a GOOD teacher.... requires a lot of time, attention,, planning,, followthru  etc.     
   
   Being a GOOD foster parent is as much of a job or career as being a mother is.
   
   The main point is that the payment should not be the motive in being a foster parent.

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      Jane Holmesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you windygreen. Dedication and love of children - giving them what they need - love and commitment - moral and emotional support - it all comes in there. Foster care is not about money - its above helping kids in need.

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   fpherj48posted 11 years ago

   peeples....From all that I have learned about foster-parenting, from individuals who have been involved for any length of time......it seems that the main motives would have to be those with  humanity and compassion at the top of the list.
   Considering the huge decision and responsibility this entails, as well as the meager allotment granted, it would not make too much sense to do this "for the money."  I realize there are those who might be greedy enough to do this, but hopefully, this type of person is soon eliminated from qualification.   If the agencies in charge of Foster-Parenting are doing their job, well, only sincere and caring people should have the opportunity to provide care for foster children.  I know this the ideal conclusion, that may not always exist.   
   There has to be much easier and better avenues toward a "career," than to assume such a serious responsibility.... Foster parenting must begin with good intentions and desire to do good deeds.
   When adults choose to have their own biological children, it  is certainly NOT a career choice.

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      Jane Holmesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      You are so right. Those who feel they can make money on the system soon realize that's not the case. There is stringent qualifications these days and a training course that one must complete. Unqualified people usually show during this process.

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   brownellaposted 11 years ago

   I think it depends on the person.  Who says your job can't also be a good deed?  If you enjoy being a foster parent and find it fulfilling, why not make it a career?  That said, it does seem that a lot of people who work for the system long term get burnt out. My parents did it short term before I was born and ended up adopting my sister which ended up great for all of us.  So, like I said I guess it all depends on the person, and their situation.

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      Jane Holmesposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Hi brownella, You are so right. Foster Parenting can be very fulfilling. It can be both a career and a good dead, although I didn't think of it as a career. It was just doing my best to be a good Mom to each and every one.

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   peeplesposted 11 years ago

   Thanks everyone. To me when I look at my children I do not think of raising them as a career. I think of it as a responsibility. To ME raising someone else's children is a good deed that comes with responsibilities. I saw far too many foster homes where it was just a job to the foster parent. I'm well aware some aren't like that, but any is too many. To me the idea of it being a career is the type of thing that leads to foster parents who lock fridge doors and deny basic needs. It leads to thinking of the children in the wrong way. Thanks again for all the responses.

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   Frenchie Kissesposted 8 years ago

   Foster parenting should not be a "career choice" anyone who gets involved to make it a career has no business doing so. My husband and i were foster parents for 6 years. I remember each one of the children's names, birthdays, likes/dislikes etc. as if they were still here. We chose to walk away from it after 5 adoptions failed and the last one was the hardest.

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