Do you believe that adoptees should seek out their birth parents? Why or why not?
They should if they want to, not if they do not. It is different with different people. Some never have that need and I admire that, really, but sometimes these parent maybe have desperately searched for their child and the child would never know. I think it should be based on whether one can take whatever they find out and not be devastated if they find out bad things.
I believe they should. No matter what has happened in the past, its healthier to KNOW where your roots are and grow from that point mentally rather than never knowing at all what family tree you came from.
I think it should be up to the adoptee. Not every adopted person wants to know about their birth parents.
I agree. My understanding is that my birth mother was a very young girl (14) and ran off with the father. My adoptive parents wanted me, I knew I was loved. They gave me every opportunity and if I could have picked my parents, I could have not done b
I have an adopted son. He was six weeks old when we brought him home. He knows what we know about his birth parents. We told him that when he was old enough (18) he could search for them. He thought about it and made some inquiries and dropped it. Later, Hurricane Katrina hit. We are from Louisiana and our son was born in New Orleans. All the records at the clerk of court office, including the sealed records were destroyed. There is a method in this state whereby the birth parents and the adopted child can fill out a request with the agency we used. They will then verify and assist in bringing everyone together. Under this method, no one gets a surprised knock at the door. My son made the request. Apparently, the birth parents have not. I do not think he is disappointed. He is 29 and has some health issues so he still lives with us.
I think if they are interested, it is a good idea to try and find them. But the adoptee must be aware that while they want to find their parents--the parents are not always wanting to be found and the resulting rejection can be harsh.
This should be an entirely personal decision and anybody exploring this issue should be guided by their heart and not the advice of others.
My brother and I are both adopted (obviously from different biological parents as will become clear) - he has chosen to seek out his biological parents, while I have not yet. Neither of us regrets our decision and we are both entirely comfortable with that.
Thankfully, our adoptive parents supported our choices in both instances and I admire them for that. It is extremely brave of them to take in two little characters, raise them, love and educate them, and still support any interest in finding "other" parents! Unselfish love in the extreme!
by Shelly McRae 9 years ago
Should adopted children, as adults, seek out their birth parents?Birth parents, particularly mothers, may be reluctant to aknowledge the child they gave up for adoption and such records are sealed. Is it an invasion of the birth parents' privacy for adoptive children to demand such aknowledgement?
by colp 10 years ago
I was always aware from a very early age that I had been adopted at only 7 days old and it was arranged before I was born. This may fly in the face of what everyone says but I always wished I NEVER knew, that I'd never been told... I grew up feeling different from everybody else and my...
by Simone Sander 7 years ago
From the time I was a small child, I played music on anything I could find. At the age of 32, I met my birth family and was told that my mom met my dad while he was playing the bass in a band. None of the other three adopted siblings that I had, all from different parents, loved music...
by Dawn Michael 9 years ago
part of realiy hub series, your answer may be used in the next reality hub, driving traffic to your page.
by lightwarrior 9 years ago
My 12 yo daughter asked to see a pic of her birthmom. Does this mean she does not feel I am her mom?I have offered before; she always said no. We have always been so close, and I guess I feel a bit rejected, but would NEVER tell her that!! I have always told her positive things about adoption and...
by Escobana 9 years ago
I wonder often why so many adopted children, go off to find their roots. Tv shows, documentaries and movies often show the romantic side of their search.I am adopted and never searched for my roots yet. I'm 38 and happy with my life and adoptive parents.Do adopted children realize they might not be...
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