Need advice really badly!
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago
0 Lay it out there girl. Express some rage - in a harmless way, so you won't regret it.
You are having a stress meltdown. Too many things going on right now.
I'm usually a good shoulder to cry on, but I can also be a good target to vent on. So let it fly. Get it out of your system and you will have the focus then to deal with your things.
then when you are done, you can 
I'm off to bed, I'll check in with you tomorrow.
It's OK to cry, if you don't let it out your mind will be too cluttered and you need to do your grieving. It will linger on you.
So so sorry for your loss. You are strong enough!- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
omg haha
do they have kids? just buy presents for them and not the adults.
i'm sorry you are going through all of this. yuck.
just stop and take a big deep breath and break everything down into manageable chunks and come up with a plan for each one.
the brother: screen the calls, and take the calls yourself to avoid your brother getting upset.
the sis-in-law: just ignore her, that's all she needs
the MIL: shield her as much as possible and stick to your plans.
the plans: restate your plans firmly and specifically and leave it at that, and tell them in a non-emotional way that they will have to work around it with their own plans and stress that this has to be a happy time for her.
your Papa: keep him in your heart and look forward to the 26th, when you will set aside some quiet time just for him and revisit him quietly. don't let them ruin that for you. you can have a tree planted in his memory somewhere on his birthday through the Arbor Day foundation.
your lease: shop online for a new apartment. set all this anguish aside just for tonight, boil some coffee and make some brownies and you and your hubby can have fun looking for a new place online.
anyway, i hope this helps a little, (((CW))).
- baconmidgetposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- baconmidgetposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- I think I may have ended my five year relationship by pressing send...
However, a year later, when things had come to a head, I wrote a very cathartic email to the same person and did *not* click send... seemed to help my psychological state a lot. (You might also want to try NLP -- this has helped me a lot, in many situations. Try http://www.modernjedi.com )
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
YAY and because of this stress I am awake and it's 12:08am...tears have made me tired but I can't sleep
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
It can be rough, it's certainly true; can you hold out for two weeks, do you think. Or, perhaps better, do you think sometime next week, so half-way between now and the 26th, would be better: this would give you plenty of time to consider how to go about it; you might have some valuable insights in the meantime (these are all just ideas, of course; I am not sure for sure what's best for someone else
)
- baconmidgetposted 13 years ago0
earlier i said something about being confrontational, but maybe you should try and make them see things from you point of view you know with the stress and emotions and all i don't know if what i'm saying is any help because i'm young and don't have much experience but i like to try and help and comfort people
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- baconmidgetposted 13 years ago0
- baconmidgetposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
Two things that are bound to help:
- crying (releasing some of that tension)
- sleep
- baconmidgetposted 13 years ago0
yeah, i am. i completely forgot about it until now.
i hope she won't be mad about that. oh well, i already sent her an e-mail asking her to give me her email address, so i can send them to her.
- shazwellynposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
I need more sleep and can't fall back to sleep
- poetlorraineposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
tired and waiting for hubby to get down here
but still feeling hurt and disgusted on how they are acting. they pulled teh we have kids card again trying to make Ryan feel bad and do what they want. OK, that is so far out of line. Kids are not an excuse. I've always had a problem with people who do that.
Here is advice you gave me during my meltdown a while back... I'm giving it back to you:
DEEEP breaths. Slow & easy, deep breaths.- cathinfranceposted 13 years ago0
- lyricsingrayposted 13 years ago0
crazd, thinking about you. cosette has good advice, breaking it up into manageable chunks. I always tell myself things are never as bad as they seem, it's just our current state of mind that makes it seem worse. just try to stay in the now and manage that.
- shazwellynposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
- Crazdwriterposted 13 years ago0
Take it from me, your having a really really hard time. And Trust me, I just went through a bunch of crap and ended up with a nursing home , basically killing my father in law within 6 weeks of him entering he had a bedsore the size of a grapefruit, got infected and he suffered 40 days before passing away. On top of this my inlaws had a crappy family who had robbed both my mother and father in law blind, and left them for dead , from 3,000 miles away and having a difficult time financially myself , I had to take care of that crummy situation and am now here, the always hated whore of a daughter in law , home with my mother in law and knee deep in Depends, really, my truck bed stays full of them and I really have to work hared to keeep my house from smelling like a nursing home . Plus Depends are not cheap and since my inlaws were robbed and decided as business owners not to pay ss tax, guess who gets to pick up the tab , me, yay, the whore , as I have been called by them for over 20 years. Yey , but I'm taking care of her , hell with altzheimers she dosn't even remember she used to call me a whore , but whatever , gotta let things go sometimes. Anyway , long story short, I had to leave my career as a tax preparer, almost lost my house, and my kids and my husband all going nuts , the house a mess , my father in law now passed away , I got all the paperwork for everything too ....boy did I think I was gonna lose it then , for this past year home learning to deal with altzheimers, course the family never calls, nothing left to steal see. Moral of the story , take a deep breath, take one thing at a time, seek out caring friends, be sure to take care of yourself. And Write, even if its not on Hubbs , even if its just for yourself. Make a list of all the things you feel you need to acomplish, like finding a new house - then go down the list and do each thing - one thing at a time you'll be o.k I promise. I just got my tax license reinstated and finally get to go back to work - but i tell ya what it takes a hell of a lot longer to get there than it does to fall - Take care, be strong, do something nice for yourself that makes you smile
Take care and good luck
Related Discussions
- 108
Nothing Says Merry Christmas like selfish family members using us!!!
UGH!!! OMG this is pissing me the f*ck off so much.Okay here is the story. My husband and I are flying out his mom for Christmas this year. My husband hasn't seen his mom since 2003 at his grandma's funeral. His older brother has seen her since then. His and is wife has all of theese past years to...
- 37
Who's got a feud in their family?
If not a flat-out Hatfields-McCoys, Montagues vs. Capulets choosing up sides feud, do you have an estrangement from anyone in your family?Please share details as comfortable.It is assumed that you are right and the other person(s) wrong.
- 34
Why are so many people selfish and mean, even to family members?
Why are so many people selfish and mean, even to family members?Maybe I shouldn't be surprised any more, but why are so many family members selfish and hurtful to other family members? Life is precious, and flying by, and even if someone isn't your favorite person, why can't more just be kind...
- 50
Just Need to Vent
I'm 5 months pregnant, and my boyfriend recently planned a cruise out of the country behind my back. He is going with his parents, friends, and pretty much everybody except me. We are in a serious relationship, so this was completely shocking...it's not like he's some random guy I've...
- 33
Do you blow up over little things?
Here's my example. My husband left this morning on a five-day fishing trip with his buddies. I honestly am happy for him going. But I was annoyed that he spent the last week packing, buying a new fishing rod, really getting into the whole thing (basically extending the time "away" well...
- 19
What is the most selfless thing that you have ever done for someone else?
What is the most selfless thing that you have ever done for someone else?Please define the scenario and what you did to change the life of someone else.