What are your thoughts on same-sex couples parenting?

1. 75

   jlparkposted 10 years ago

   What are your thoughts on same-sex couples parenting?
   
   Be it their own child conceived in a straight relationship, a child conceived with the help of a donor or surrogate, fostered children, or adopted children?  What do you think about gay couples parenting? Do you have any concerns? What are these concerns? What are your reasons for this?

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2. 72

   Aime Fposted 10 years ago

   I think a same sex couple is just as likely to be a good set of parents as any heterosexual couple. Actually, I may argue that they'd be better parents in some cases since the process of having children is a lot more difficult than just having sex. Obviously a lot of thought and effort would go into getting their own child, so there's no doubt they will be very much wanted.
   
   I think children can thrive under married, heterosexual parents, same sex parents, single parents, co-parents... as long as they're raised in a respectful and loving environment.

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      THANK YOU, this is the 21st century and the same sex issue should be a moot one;however there are atavistic people among us who have an ISSUE with this subject. Sad indeed!

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      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Aime F for your answer. I'm of a similar mind, I just am curious as to how people view this, and why...so thanks for sharing your view.

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3. 84

   gmwilliamsposted 10 years ago

   
   
   If the parents are loving, caring, nurturing, and supportive, what difference does it makes if the parents are same-sex or different-sex.  The contention surrounding same-sex marriage and same-sex parents has got to cease and cease now.  People are people regardless if they are heterosexual or part of the LBGT community.  It's TIME that people recognize this. 
   
   Same-sex parents are some of the most caring, loving, and encouraging people around.  They are actively engaged in their children's lives.  There are different-sex parents who one can deem should NEVER have been parents in the first place.  These d-s parents are abusive, uncaring, and have other characteristics that do not make them parent material e.g. the Duggars.  Whether or not parents are same-sex should not matter in the slightest; as long as they are caring, thoughtful, and encouraging parents, that is ALL that SHOULD matter.

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   1. 75

      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks GM for your answer. I am curious as to what the people have to say on the matter, I know already where I stand....but wish to write a hub..so thanks for your answer and views

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      mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly!!!

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      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you so much for selecting my answer, it is greatly appreciated in kind.

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4. 0

   jonnycomelatelyposted 10 years ago

   jlpark, there is an old saying:  "The proof of the pudding is in the eating." 
   
   Any theoretical answers you receive here, based upon beliefs and ideals, will be a long way short of the truth.
   
   In my small sphere of friendships down the years, I have known several families, where the gay man has partnered another man, the child is usually still happily in touch with the mother, and the child is in no way likely to become homosexual -- because it is not contagious.   You don't make "gay" people that way.
   
   I have known a man, whose wife chose to follow a lesbian partnership.  They remained friends.  In particular they, and the wife's lesbian partner, remained good friends for their boy, who was around 10 years of age at the time.   It was a happy family.  The man decided to explore the world of gay people, whilst not being gay himself.   He became a very good friend to a lot of gay people, my self included.   
   
   If there was a god that frowned upon such a loving family relationship, he, she or it would be no god of mine.   
   
   There must be countless people around the world who are in a homosexual relationship.  (Homosexual here is used as an adjective describing male or female persons.)   Being homosexual does not make one any less able to parent a child.  Indeed, there are many heterosexual couples who are the worst possible people to be involved parenting children.   
   
   I hope this gives a bit more perspective on the subject.

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   1. 75

      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Jonny - Thanks for your answer - I am aware of the basis of many of the answers from religious people etc. I am curious (and writing a hub on it) as to what people think of SS couples rearing children for a very personal reason...

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      jonnycomelatelyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Then, JL, I wish you every success, courage to keep going and lots of support from people who mean so much to you in your life.

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      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Jonny

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5. 83

   Bk42authorposted 10 years ago

   At the end of the day, as long as the child is being raised in a loving, happy home with people who treat each other with love and respect, it doesn't matter whether the parents are gay or straight.

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   1. 75

      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your answer.

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      mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      And there is NOT ONE SHRED of scientific evidence to support any of the contentions that same-sex parenting has any detrimental effect on kids. In fact, the evidence is pointing in the opposite direction suggesting it may be advantageous to kids.

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6. 83

   peoplepower73posted 10 years ago

   Who is to say what is better?  There are good parents and bad parents on both sides of the aisle. It's all based on the behavior of the parents.  There can be heterosexual parents who can make a child's life miserable, because they end-up in divorce and have custody issues.  There can also be same sex parents who don't have the qualities to be parents. It takes two to tango, no matter what the sexual preferences are.

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      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Very true! Thanks for your answer

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      mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      And the legitimate data shows---and its scientific and replicated, that what kids need are secure and loving environments not one male parent and one female parent.
      
      The sexual orientation of the parents, as you note, is not the problem.

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7. 74

   tsadjatkoposted 10 years ago

   
   
   Gay Marriage: Even Liberals Know It's Bad
   Why not legalize same-sex marriage?  Who could it possibly hurt?  Children and the rest of society. That’s the conclusion of David Blankenhorn, who is anything but an anti-gay “bigot.” He is a life-long, pro-gay, liberal democrat who disagrees with the Bible’s prohibitions against homosexual behavior. Despite this, Blankenhorn makes a powerful case against Same-Sex marriage in his book, The Future of Marriage. 
   
               He writes, “Across history and cultures . . . marriage’s single most fundamental idea is that every child needs a mother and a father. Changing marriage to accommodate same-sex couples would nullify this principle in culture and in law.” 
   
               How so?
   
               The law is a great teacher, and same sex marriage will teach future generations that marriage is not about children but about coupling. When marriage becomes nothing more than coupling, fewer people will get married to have children.               
   
               So what?
   
               People will still have children, of course, but many more of them out-of wedlock. That’s a disaster for everyone. Children will be hurt because illegitimate parents (there are no illegitimate children) often never form a family, and those that “shack up” break up at a rate two to three times that of married parents.  Society will be hurt because illegitimacy starts a chain of negative effects that fall like dominoes—illegitimacy leads to poverty, crime, and higher welfare costs which lead to bigger government, higher taxes, and a slower economy. 
   
               Are these just the hysterical cries of an alarmist?  No. ... Norway, for example, has had de-facto same-sex marriage since the early nineties. In Nordland, the most liberal county of Norway, ... out-of-wedlock births have soared—more than 80 percent of women giving birth for the first time, and nearly 70 percent of all children, are born out of wedlock! ... (read whole article at
   http://townhall.com/columnists/franktur … _bad/print )
                ...Blankenhorn is amazed how indifferent homosexual activists are about the negative effects of same-sex marriage on children.  Many of them, he documents, say that marriage isn’t about children.
   
               That conclusion has nothing to do with bigotry and everything to do with what’s best for children and society.  Just ask pro-gay, liberal democrat David Blankenhorn.

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      jonnycomelatelyposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      "....every child needs a mother and a father."  I had both.  They loved each other for 61 years of marriage.   A same-gender couple can love each other and parent children just as well, especial when given community support, not condemnation.

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   2. 75

      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I wasn't asking about same sex marriage - I was asking about bringing up a child - wedlock or not. I already have a hub on the effect of same sex marriage (on yrs or anyone's marriage) and on teens raised in SS families. Thanks for your answer.

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   3. 74

      tsadjatkoposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      jlpark, and how does the information I provided not answer your question? did you even read the article?

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      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      It goes on about being born out of marriage isn't good for a child...yet is making out marriage for same sex couples will cause this more - not what it does to the child. What are YOUR own views? What about those SS marriages that have children?

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   5. 72

      Aime Fposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      If marriage is about having children then shouldn't there be some sort of provision that you MUST have kids after being married? Wouldn't a married same sex couple with kids then be more "legitimate" than a married heterosexual couple without?

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      mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Any comment that references "townhall.com" suggests to me a decidedly anti-gay sentiment.
      
      What is best for kids is that (a) bigots disappear and (b) that they are raised in secure and loving homes regardless of the sexual orientation of the parents.

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8. 73

   dashingscorpioposted 10 years ago

   I don't think it makes a difference whether a child's parents are straight or gay. No child wants to believe their parents have sex! Sexual orientation does not make them a better or worse parent.
   
   The primary goal of a parent is to provide a safe and loving environment for a child to grow and learn to become a self-reliant productive adult citizen who contributes positively to our society.

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   1. 75

      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your answer - very helpful

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      mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Exactly!

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9. 92

   peeplesposted 10 years ago

   There are an average of 500,000 foster children in foster care each year. Since I use to be one of those foster kids and I never got adopted, I am all for gay adoption/parenting/fostering. After all, all those children in foster care came from heterosexuals who couldn't parent! I would take gay parents over abusive or no parents any day!!

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   1. 84

      gmwilliamsposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      AMEN to THAT!

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   2. 75

      jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your answer - and I'm certain many would agree.

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      mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for pointing out something that seems not to be obvious to so many people: Heterosexuals can and do often make very bad parents.
      
      Being a heterosexual is not THE key to parenting. Being a secure and loving human being is.

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10. 0

    greeneyedblondieposted 10 years ago

    Okay, I don't want to generate any "hate war" thing, but I really do agree children need both a mother and a father figure in their life. This is usually best as the parents because they see that a man and a woman can work together all the time and that one doesn't need to "go home" at the end of the day.
    
    Of course there are single people out there who are parenting and I just hope they remember that the children need both gender figures in their life. So I don't think it's a good idea.

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    1. 75

       jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for your answer. I would like to clear up one thing for myself in your answer - what about other family members, close friends of the opposite gender?

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       mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Are you presuming that masculinity is found only in males; femininity found only in females?
       
       Are you presuming that children of same-sex couples have no contact with people of the opposite sex at home/in families, at school, in society?

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11. 79

    Alphadogg16posted 10 years ago

    People should be able to love whomever they choose, regardless of sex, however when it comes to a child, my opinion is a child needs a good role model from both sexes. A woman can not teach a boy to be a man, just as a man can not teach a little girl to be girly/a girl.

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    1. 75

       jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for your answer.  I ask of you also, as I have of others - what about family members, friends of the opp gender who have a lot to do with family and the child/ren? Or are you saying that ss couples exist in a bubble of 'gay"? Just clarifying

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       mbuggiehposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       So...
       
       While your statement is not true (that a woman cannot teach a boy to be a man or a man teach a girl to be "girly"---but I will say a woman), what would you suggest for all single parents---including heterosexual single parents?

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       Aime Fposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       But surely they can teach a child to be a good person? What do gender roles really matter, anyway? What does it even mean to be a "man" or to be "girly"? My mom has been around my whole life & I'm not what you'd call "girly".

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    4. 79

       Alphadogg16posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       85% of what needs to be taught, can be taught regardless of gender, however there are things that cant be. I am a single parent, and had my daughter when she reached puberty(went thru her first menstrual cycle) and it was not easy

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       jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Alpha - thank you for that clarification, and your comment re: your daughter and puberty. Did you seek the assistance/support from female friends and family members in this time?

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    6. 79

       Alphadogg16posted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Yes, I had no choice & thank God I did.....At some point every child will need a positive role model/parent figure of the opposite sex

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    7. 75

       jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       IThanks Alpha. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts behind your opinion. Thanks

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12. 38

    ChristinSposted 10 years ago

    My concern with them would be the same as it would be with anyone else.  Are they good, decent people who are working hard to raise good, decent people? If so, great - who cares if they are same-sex couples.  My concern is with the innocents as it is with any child.  Same sex parents can be amazing or awful, the same as traditional families.

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13. 61

    Jared Liescheidtposted 10 years ago

    If they are good parents, by all means. The world needs more of those.

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    1. 75

       jlparkposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Thanks for your answer.

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