What would you do if you found condoms in your 16 year old teenager's clothes?

1. 82

   dashingscorpioposted 9 years ago

   What would you do if you found condoms in your 16 year old teenager's clothes?
   
   Would you be glad that she or he is at least using protection? Would you confront her or him? Act like you know nothing? Would your response differ based upon it being your daughter or your son?
   
   

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2. 92

   peeplesposted 9 years ago

   It would not matter to me if it were my daughter on one of my sons, I would simply be happy they were using protection. Now if it was one of my boys I would be more likely to tease/pick on them a bit about the fact they had a serious girl friend. 16 is a normal age for kids to experiment with the opposite sex. All I can hope for is that they are safe.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      +++++++++++++++++

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3. 63

   Lisa HWposted 9 years ago

   Completely separate from any talks that I think parents have to have with kids (which isn't part of my answer to this particular question)...
   
   I wouldn't jump to any conclusions.  Kids of any age may have something like just to learn more about the product, itself.  In other words, they can be curious about some "grown-up thing" even if they don't plan to use it immediately or even in the very near future.
   
   My kids are grown now (one daughter and two sons).  My reply wouldn't be all that different because my thinking is that there's some stuff that can be covered by any number of talks (including about values, good sense, future, etc. etc. - not just "the basics"), and finding stuff kids have tucked away somewhere can drive a suspicious-minded/worried parent crazy..
   
   Kids will talk about what they'll talk about with parents, not talk about what they don't plan to talk about, and that's kind of it.
   
   Not all kids will wait until they're even sixteen; so as far as I'm concerned, a sensible parent of a kid of either sex will leave (somewhere in the house) a little supply of this particular product; where kids over a certain age may be able to find them, learn about them, or - if it's going to happen anyway - use them (or at least share on with a friend they know should be using one).
   
   The kid who just can't/won't ask one parent or other grown-up about, or for, that kind of thing just may feel a little more comfortable taking something he finds at home from a person he knows (or believes) won't think cares if he takes one/some.
   
   You know how they say, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions"?  Sometimes that road is paved by jumping to conclusions based on what someone "finds" among his kids' clothes/belongings.
   
   "Worst case" , the sixteen-year-old daughter actually requires a partner to use that particular product.  OR, is that really "worst case"?
   
   To me, all the "talks" and conversation should really go on separate from what may be found in a kid's pocket or purse.

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4. 92

   poppyrposted 9 years ago

   Be glad they're using protection, and if you want to talk to them about it don't do it in a way that will embarass them.  Be interested and sincere, and they may open up to you.  Is this your son or daughter?  If it's your daughter, maybe suggest she goes on the pill as well to be extra safe.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      +1,000,000,000 in agreement.

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5. 69

   Aime Fposted 9 years ago

   I would be glad that she was using protection. I'd try to talk to her about it very calmly and not too intrusively, just so that she knew I knew and that she didn't have to hide it. I'd want to convey that I wasn't mad or thought less of her but that I would be there for her if she needed to talk to me about it. I think the best route is to acknowledge that teenagers are curious and have impulses, and to support them in making good choices (the condom would be a good start) rather than trying to discourage them from partaking.

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   1. 83

      gmwilliamsposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Very good answer, it is better to be protected and safe to the pay the consequences later.

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6. 60

   BumblelyBeeposted 9 years ago

   Here (UK) 16 is the legal age for sex. I don't know where you are so just asuming UK but it might be good to have a talk about these things to make sure they know how to be safe and that condoms are not 100% safe as they may split or not get put on properly. To make sure they know how to use them and talk about methods of contraception.
   
   I also agree with what Lisa said she might just have it because shes at that age where she just carries them around. In the UK schools give them out doesn't nessisarly mean that she has used them might mean that it's time to talk about this stuff.

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7. 89

   Theophanesposted 9 years ago

   .....I am perplexed why this would even be a question. I mean I would just thank God they're using protection and if it's a daughter I might ask if she'd like to be put on the pill (while still stressing condoms still need to be used for disease control.) It would be awkward and unnecessary to bring any of this up otherwise. Teenagers are loaded with hormones and quickly becoming adults. There's nothing we can or should do to stop this, we should just offer our support if they need it and watch them turn into the butterflies they are to become.

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8. 55

   Suselys Fuentesposted 9 years ago

   Don't take it as a bad thing. Be glad they're using protection. You should talk to him/her about it. I'm a teenager,   my mom talks to me about that kind of stuff and I feel really comfortable going to her when I'm curious about something or ready to do something. Maybe your son/daughter is not comfortable enough to tell you about it. So talk to him/her , don't get mad or yell, just talk patiently. I hope it helped (:

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