Besides being driven by biology, what else drives people to have children in the

1. 93

   Billie Kelpinposted 9 years ago

   Besides being driven by biology, what else drives people to have children in the 21st century?
   
   It hasn't really been a long time in the history of humankind that we had a CHOICE of having children or not. Consistently RELIABLE birth control has been on the scene for only about 70 years. So it would seem the majority of people who have children, have made a conscious decison to do so. When I was in love when I was young, I remember loving this person so much that there was the intense desire to create something of our own together. I think there are a myriad of other reasons we have children. What are some of our subconscious, unexamined reasons to have children?   
   
   

   replyreport
2. 68

   Nadeem Koudsiposted 9 years ago

   In the holy Quran Allah says: Wealth and children are an adornment of the life of this world.
   I personally believe that people decide to have children because they want to enjoy life.
   I want to have children because I want someone to carry my name and perhaps do something good for this world, something that I wasn't able to do my self.

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Ah, that is a very strong and meaningful motivation!  Our children become better than we were - every generation becomes more noble, more giving, more helpful to the world. I think that's a driving force.  Thank you Nadeem

      replyreport
3. 64

   cat on a soapboxposted 9 years ago

   Hi Billie,
   I agree w/ Nadeem that many want to perpetuate the family name and hope that offspring will go on to do the things they were unable to accomplish. My husband and I cherish parenthood and the working together to raise a well-adjusted and happy child. Parents often relive childhood through their kids too, and that is SO much fun because it gives us a valid excuse to play w/ toys!!  Great question:)

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you, Catherine.  I agree. AND I love the "re-living" childhood part for the valid excuse to play with the toys.  Did you see the remote control Anna from Frozen doll.  Oh my goodness, I need an excuse to get her   that or an RC helicopter

      replyreport
4. 30

   Viki Panposted 9 years ago

   Our children is the highest achievement we can make during the lifetime. Although, this is my personal opinion, I believe that many people will support me in this respect. There are child-free people who cannot even think about having kids - this is because they are too busy doing their own affairs. However, I'm sure that, sooner or later, they will regret their decision, but that may be too late already.
   So, people have children for different reasons. This is not about biology only, although humans are really created in such a way that continuing their family generations seems important even nowadays. Having created a family, a young couple usually needs time to get used to each other, but very soon they are ready to have kids. This is because they love each other and wish to “transfer” this love onto somebody they can "create" together – their own child. This is the best way to prove they are a real family now and that makes sense!
   We also have kids not to be left alone when we get old. This may sound a bit egoistic, but it is really so! When you become old, you may be left alone, but if you are lucky to raise understanding, gentle and supportive kids, you will never feel this way. And this is another thing that makes people have children!
   And, yes, we have kids just because we wish to be proud of them and their achievements! They make our life better and they feel it with the most important sense in life! That is, probably, the best answer to this question!

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      In response to your last paragraph, I once copied a picture of the Coke logo and printed it with the words, "Things Go Betther with Beth" and gave it to my daughter. My daughter has a quick wit and things do go better when she's around. Thanks, Viki

      replyreport
   2. 64

      cat on a soapboxposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      well said:)

      replyreport
5. 86

   unvrsoposted 9 years ago

   To me, is the desire to improve one´s own species with a part of ourselves. Is the motive that drives us to educate and make better human beings in order to overcome the obstacles in life that we were unable to overthrow.

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Jose, I think you expressed the CORE of our motive to have children.  It seems as if it's a "Prime Directive" as Captain Kirk of Startrek might say.  It's the underlying principle from which all the other motives arise. Thank you!

      replyreport
6. 84

   Edward J. Palumboposted 9 years ago

   My wife and I had been married for a few years; our lives seemed to stabilize professionally and we enjoyed our relationship. Our world was a fine place to be, so we wanted to enlarge it, expand it. I saw in my wife a fine wife and mother, and it seemed a time to celebrate life. My daughter was born, and she's now 29. My son came along almost 5 years later.
   Oddly, they arrived to share interesting times of lay-off, struggle, flexibility and reestablishment, but we made the best of it and much of what I consider beautiful in that time was our lives as a family.
   For me, my wife and children have been the greatest, most stabilizing factors in my life.

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Lovely, Thank you, Edward. "Our world was a fine place to be, so we wanted to enlarge it, expand it..."  I think psychologists would call this an extremely healthy outlook on the relationship of marriage to children.

      replyreport
7. 81

   joanhallposted 9 years ago

   I thought that if I had children, I would experience a love relationship with them that would be like nothing else in the world.
   
   And I was TOTALLY right.

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Joan,  That is absolutely WONDERFUL!  I'm so happy for you.

      replyreport
8. 61

   fpherj48posted 9 years ago

   Billie...I fully understand the reason behind your question and it's a good, valid question.
   Besides being driven by biology, I firmly believe each couple arrives at their own decision, according to their needs, wants and lifestyle.  Sometimes there's no decision made before......Oops!  Know what I mean?
   
   Now for the sarcastic side of this mother of 4 sons (all married w/kids...in the care of another woman who KNOWS she may NOT return him!).......More and more I believe what drove me was a sick twisted masochistic tendency!!...................(The truth is I adore them)

   replyreport
   1. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      So cute, Paula, They're very lucky to have such a talented mom and I can imagine that the women 'who know they can't return them' have a lot of fun when they're around you!

      replyreport
   2. 61

      fpherj48posted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Billie...You're my NEW BFF!  If I send you their addresses, will you please write them about how LUCKY they are to have a Mom like me??   Thanks!!
      Yes, my daughters-in-law laugh around me.  I don't really want to know WHY!  LOL

      replyreport
   3. 93

      Billie Kelpinposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      You make me smile!  I'm sure they don't need a letter to inform them how lucky they are   They already know.

      replyreport