What are the ways that overprotective parents create children who end up to be abject failures
in their adult lives?
Life is all about experience, and learning from it. Experience gives us certain patterns of recognition. Even if we don't experience something ourselves, through our past experiences we can predict the patterns that will play out.
Overprotected kids have no life experiences to base their patterns on. They have no patterns, except that "everything will be taken care of by someone other than me."
Breaking into life alone, with no experiences, no patterns, no skills, and no ability to survive leaves the kid/adult with little chance. Their entire life everything has been done for them in a vacuum. But life isn't a vacuum; it's a learning experience.
When these kids/adults are finally introduced to the real world, they have some horrible realizations. The last 20+ years that other people have been constantly learning life skills, they have been learning absolutely nothing. They are still kindergartners surrounded by people their own age who are university-level (or higher), experienced, and tested.
Highly over-protected kids just have no chance. Sure, some of them may quickly learn how to live life without being coddled and doted on, but most of them probably just end up leading less than ideal lives.
The people they loved the most (their parents) basically showed them a side of reality that doesn't really exist. It's a type of poison, really. When the kid wakes up in reality, they find that their entire prior existence was a lie, and that has got to be a hard pill to swallow.
Yes, many overprotected children eventually HATE their parents for crippling them!
and then they grow up to be the kind of people who don't know enough to protect their own children, who then tend to go "off the rails" in another way.
People have to be careful about deeming which parents are "over-protective" and which are not. There is protecting one's child the way a parent should, which involves having a solid understanding of child development, as well as the individual child. There are far too many people who are clueless about those things and who then think a parent is over-protective. I'd like to see numbers on the number of "abject failures" who had parents who failed to properly protect them as children (if those children managed to survive and/or survive without major mental/emotional flaws).
Having said that, I'd guess that any "abject failures" caused by truly over-protective/unhealthy parents are caused by the same thing that "abject failures" caused by any other kind of parent (and not all are caused by the parent) are caused by having a parent who isn't very good at being the healthiest kind of parent.
Of course, one question is, "What, exactly, is the measure of 'abject failure'?" (because the world is full of some real losers who would not, according to SOME measures, be considered "abject failures", and all their apparent "success" hasn't done them much good when it comes to being a loser, failure, or worse, has it.....).
i had seen my sister in law taught her kids and teens, she gave them everything they want, they are not independent, not bright and always conned by other people who are much cunning than them.
Her son had been cheated by online gambling site $10,000- parents had to pay
Daughter loss her ID while travelling and made her parents to pay her courses twice because she quit halfway. Lost $10,000 on that.....
by Grace Marguerite Williams 13 months ago
I did a hub regarding how overprotective parents overguard and mollycoddle their children as to leave them totally bereft of basic life and survival skills. As we all know, there is a rising phenomena of overprotective/helicopter parents who believe in overprotecting and infantilizing...
by Grace Marguerite Williams 7 years ago
There are parents of near adult children who actually decide what college/university their children should attend. They believe that as parents, they know what is the best college/university for their children. They discount the decisions of their children. ...
by Akshara98 17 months ago
I am 19 years old. I have overprotective parents. I can't go hanging around with my friends. Help meI can say thatmy parents are friendly and they does everything that I need. But they don't try to understand my feelings. They always endup arguing with me whenever I ask permission to hang...
by loveofnight 5 years ago
Is it possible for a parent to stand in their child's way, how ?
by Barine Sambaris 4 years ago
Should parents allow their children make their own mistakes?Instead of over protecting/caging the child every time, shouldn't parents allow their children to see for themselves? I know some mistakes are quite costly but hey, experience is the best teacher.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 7 years ago
It truly amazes me when overprotective parents lament how immature and irresponsible their adolescent and/or near adult children are. Didn't they realize that they were partly responsible by their intrusive and controlling parenting in making their children childish, puerile, and...
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