I am 19 years old. I have overprotective parents. I can't go hanging around with

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   Akshara98posted 7 years ago

   I am 19 years old. I have overprotective parents. I can't go hanging around with my friends. Help me
   
   I can say thatmy parents are friendly and they does everything that I need. But they don't try to understand my feelings. They always endup arguing  with me whenever I ask permission to hang around with my friends. They say that as I am a girl I should not go alone. I am confident that I can take care of myself but they never understand my feelings. I feel like I am worthless. I feel so insulated when they don't belive me.  I am not sure whether its the matter of belief but I am not enjoying my life. I am faking and pretend luke I am okay.

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   dashingscorpioposted 7 years ago

   
   
   Every teenager reaches a point where they believe they are an "adult". However most parents will never view their children as being adults until they have a full-time job, are independent, no longer living under their roof, self-reliant, paying their own rent/mortgage, and so forth. Even when I went away to college every time there was a school break in which I came home my mother expected to (resume) the role I played while in high school. Eventually I stopped coming home for the holidays and when I left college I moved 2000 miles away.
   When my mother came out to visit me in California I could see a level of respect she had for me had increased significantly.
   Legally you are an adult at age 18 in most places. However it's not until you move out and no longer financially dependent on your parents that they will see you that way.
   One adage goes: "He who has the gold makes the rules."
   Don't expect to be able to tell someone how to treat you in (their home) especially if they are providing for (you)! Most teens in your situation choose to go away to college, join the military, or find a fulltime job to get their own apartment or with a roommate.
   In order to been seen as an "adult" you will have to take on adult responsibilities! When you're on your own you don't have to ask.

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   fpherj48posted 7 years ago

   As a parent, I can surely understand your parent's concerns.  If my memory can go back a hundred years at the moment, I think I can also feel for you as a teen.
   This is just a suggestion but......Have you thought of asking if you can have a few friends to your home for pizza and a movie?  Introduce your parents to your friends so they can actually try to get to know them and witness how they behave?  Or, is there someone your parents trust who might be able to go out WITH you so that you are not "alone" (as they say) for the first time or 2 that you socialize with your friends?   It might just take some patience and understanding to help your parents to see your dilemma.  It seems to me, you should be able to reach some sort of agreement.
   Good luck.

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      dashingscorpioposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Excellent suggestions!

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      Akshara98posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for understanding me ma'am. Actually my parents knows all my friends and ahe interacts with them and their family. There is no such problem in taking my friends to home but they are not willing me to hang around with them.

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   nochanceposted 7 years ago

   If you don't like living under your parent's rules then move out. You're old enough to get your own job and your own place to live.

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   Jeff Martin1posted 7 years ago

   As someone who is turning 30 this year, I can tell you that this is because they love you, and they are trying to help you make the right decisions.
   
   At 19, you know just enough to get yourself in trouble, and are old enough that your decisions can have an effect on the rest of your life.
   
   Just listen to your parents. You will thank them later.

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      Akshara98posted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you

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