I have two girls and one boy. Having said that my son being the oldest,he is the shyest and clingiest of them all. He definitely loves boy stuff, cars especially. My daughters are tough. They hold their own.
My problem is that the friends my son has (all boys) are so rough. I see they pick on my girls when they are around a lot. At first I thought it was just one boy. I am realizing it is most boys now. Almost all the boys that come around are meaner to my girls and I think, as my own personal opinion, that they feel tough about themselves because they are able to pick on someone they don't expect will fight back. My son is bigger as his father is 6'4, I being 5'10. My 1st grader is often mistaken as a third grader therefore I think most kids kind of leave him alone. They are just naturally intimidated by him I think.
It is for this reason I think they tend to pick on my daughters perhaps to maybe show him they are tough too. My son is more on the affectionate side so I guess I was not used to this bullying behavior boys have. A lot of the boys are acting this way. I see other mom's with multiple boys and they will be fully fighting on the playground. Me, mother of three panicking, oh my gosh, someone's going to get hurt....(I am so dramatic) but their mother's are like, "oh they do this all the time...boys will be boys." So competitive. I actually wouldn't mind if my son toughened up just a little, but I totally disagree with using females as sparring partners, those little whimps. (not the females but the boys who pick on them)
I find it funny they will pick on my daughters instead of my son who is much taller than them. Pick on someone your own size lil buddy. Shoot, pick on my son so he can learn to beat up those jerks who dump my daughters later on. My daughters do play nicely on their own and they don't need some numbskull tearing down their castle and kicking them in the back because they think it is "funny". My daughters like to save their energy to fight with each other. They don't want to waste it on some silly boy. Can anyone relate to this? let me know.
Even though I am a mother of 3, I always consider myself a first time mom. No matter how many days the calendar turns over there is always a first time for something they do and my hands in the air "what to do about this?" I think it's funny when I ask mothers at the park gazing into their newborns eyes, "Are you a first time mom?" as though it matters. Each time any of my kids enter a new phase in life I consider myself a first time mom all over again. Some things do get simpler like putting them in time out or getting them breakfast at 6:30 in the morning. But the rest of that stuff is still a mystery to me. Good luck and Good job to all the parents out there who are dealing with NOT ONE, NOT TWO, But THREE or more..... GOOD GOLLY MISS MOLLY!
Funny, because my mom always said "oh- boys will be boys" to my sister growing up! She's had to live with three brothers, but she's survived!
But to answer your question-
Hi Crystal, I am a mom of three also and I agree that each new phase is like starting over as a new mom. I have three girls, and it has been our experience so far that girls are meaner! They just fight with their words instead.
Kids are mean in general. Other people's kids, that is, not mine or yours! I have shooed some rough little boys away from my girls a few times, but as they get older it doesn't happen as much.
My girls fight with each other too- I am amazed at how they pounce. I never did that to my sister!
I have five kids...four of them boys, and I did licensed daycare for about ten years (ironically, the day-care kids have mostly been little girls) and it's been my experience that little girls are actually meaner than little boys. It might not seem that way on the surface -- the little girls don't usually want to LOOK mean, it's more their actions and their ability and willingness to hold a grudge and 'get even. someday.' A little boy might pick on a little girl but my observation has generally been (not always, but often -- especially when they're little) that it's because they're trying to get the little girls' attention. The pigtail pulling syndrome.
One difference that I've noticed through the years is that when boys get pissed off, they're pissed off. But then, the next day (or even in an hour or so) it's like it never happened. Little girls, on the other hand, tend to hold things. They might not show it now but their anger might come out in two weeks...a month. Three years. I've seen little girls in the fifth grade try and get back for something another little girl did in the third grade.
It's all part of growing up, though. They always seem to get through it. We did. When we were kids, at least. Now that I'm grown, I sometimes wonder if I'm going to live through my kids.
Boys may be more boisterous than girls, but girls are definitely meaner.
Agree with Mark. Girls are much more vindictive, which is why I spent most of my life hanging out with guys.
And agree with elisabeth reid. Most guys might get physical once in while and blow of steam but then it's over. Most girls can justify holding a grudge for eons.
Boys will punch you and maybe risk getting in trouble, then forget about it they are all friends again the next day. Girls will lay awake at night dreaming of ways to get back. Except for me, when I was a girl I was the punching kind. and I didn't fight fair either when kids ganged up on me five to one or more I figured all bets were off, the name of the game was survival. I bit and spit and gouged and pinched and put rocks in my windbreaker and slung 'em. I never thought of myself as mean, I only did those things when other kids started getting physical with me first.
This is what moms can understand fully.A brother who cannt
stop his friends picking on her sisters is really meaner.
Boy....no doubt...................Girls.........always doubt...LOL...
Girls should always pray to boy!!!!!!!
Well, I was hoping that I could offer something useful to this thread, but it appears that it's pretty well covered. I too am of the mind that girls really are the meaner ones (in fact, they are capable of a type of cruelty that males can't even imagine).
As for your son being on the affectionate side, I wouldn't dream of even wishing that the other boys would pick on him. That is simply not right. If you are worried about him being able to defend himself (if you think he has the 'gentle giant syndrome') I would suggest finding him a martial arts class (like karate) to hone skills, coordination and self-assurance. I would look for a Shotokan Karate school, with an instructor who encourages peaceful means of confronting others (none of this sports Karate, beat-the-other-guy-to-a-pulp kind of martial arts) and an idea in building leadership and confidence.
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