Open Letter: MOTHERLESS DAUGHTERS

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   steffsingsposted 14 years ago

   Today is the UN-Official Recognition of Motherless Daughters. It's a difficult time for anyone who has lost a parent/mother; however there a special considerations for the daughter without the shoulder, hand, or listening ear of a loving mother. Mothers Day makes us acutely aware of this.
   
   I am grateful for the time we did have together & I celebrate her memory... Your thoughts and offerings?

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      yes.....celebrate in her memory.....something special for her - and just for you.    I'm fortunate to have my mother still. 
      
      I miss my father very much on father's day.  I celebrate his death every year...it wasn't easy to do for the first few years...over time (several years) it came together...and the memories make me smile now as opposed to the pain of grief.

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hey steffsings...have a good day.

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Being a mother, myself, whenever I've gotten myself "into a thing" over having lost my mother (and father); I always remind myself of what I'd want for my grown kids if I weren't here.  I want them to know that if I "went" tomorrow, having them in my life has made my life whole, happy, worthwhile, and so much much better than it ever would have been; so I'd hope they can be OK knowing that they'll never have any idea (at least not until they have their own grown kids) of all they've brought to my life.
      
      I guess I'd hope, too, that they would find a way to put me out of their mind at least until thinking of me didn't feel so bad any more.  I'd want them to give themselves permission to be as happy as they could be and not feel they owe it to me to always be thinking about me.  I'd also want them to know that if I weren't here I'd be at peace.  When I think of my mother (or father) it always help to remind myself that there are worse things in life than death.

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   janiek13posted 14 years ago

   My Mother passed away at 2:13pm today.

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      SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      i don't have words to make life feel better for you right  now. life must be feeling surreal.

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      my heart is with you. my deepest sympathies. may your memories be special.

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      steffsingsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Our thoughts and prayers are with you (JanieK13), and I agree with the thoughtful & heartfelt posts of the others... it's definitely "o.k." and at your own pace & timing the feelings & memories will come

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      Uninvited Writerposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm so sorry, I understand what you mean about it not feeling real yet. I was like that for weeks after my mother died.

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   janiek13posted 14 years ago

   It doesn't feel real yet.

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      rebekahELLEposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      it's o.k. that it doesn't feel real. accept all of your feelings.
      she is near you.  {{hugs}}

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      Anolindeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I'm so sorry about your loss, janiek. 
      
      My dad passed away 5 years ago (will be 5 years on the 12th) and I STILL sometimes think "oh, I want to ask/tell him about this" and then realize he's not here on earth anymore.  But it's okay .. I know he's around me as your mom is around you.

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         steffsingsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I have had the same experience. Many times I have said..."I wish I could ask my mom".
         
         I have an awesome dad, but it was a little different (this DOES NOT take away from our father/daughter relationship... it was just different - not less than or bad)
         
         I can say some positive came out of the very negative - I have been careful to give my daughter lots of love and attention... I think making it through the experience has taught me the value of family. It has made me a stronger more resourceful woman.

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      Lisa HWposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      So sorry to know that.  There are no words that will help right now, of course.  Just try to think of some comforting thoughts that help as you get through your days (and think of them whenever it gets particularly difficult for you).

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   janiek13posted 14 years ago

   Thanks to everyone.

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   janiek13posted 14 years ago

   Thanks for all the positive thoughts, It does help to know that I am not alone.

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      steffsingsposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      FYI-Still here! Still listening.

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   Fluffymetalposted 14 years ago

   Today is somewhat of a depressing day for me.  My daughter is miles away and my mother is deceased.  Depression is a sickness that always festers inside me.  I can only heal it with bandages.  It never really goes away.

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