As a empty nest neophyte, I'd like to hear about how people view their changing lives after the kids fly away. Your relationship with your spouse, yourself, your grown kids....your perception of time, and your feelings about your work...
Ha! When my kids were away at college, I think I talked to them more than when they were at home. "Mom, how do I do...," "Mom, what does this mean..."
My oldest married a few years ago. A million times a day I got the phone calls "Mom, how do I cook this..." "Mom, how do I clean that..."
Then came the babies. The phone calls became "Mom, can you help with..." "Mom, can you babysit..."
In my experience, all of those stories you hear about spreading your wings when you become an empty nester and being able to pursue your passions is a farce dreamed up by the powers that be so that us Moms won't just run away from home. I'm convinced of it.
The thing is, your nest might not be empty for that long. My experience is that they keeping flying home! By their late 20's my kids finally settled down and stopped trying to move back in. I had to change the purpose of their old bedrooms in order to keep them away.
The big changes in my life started after the death of my first husband. Such a radical change in circumstances can be very positive and the changes I made were pretty radical. On my own and without the kids, I did a spot of being a teenager again. I went to a lot of pop concerts, dated, backpacked, as well as changing my job and other more practical things. My perception of time also changed i.e. there wasn't enough of it and after evaluating my life time achievements, I decided that some things were more important than others, re-married and re-located to France and now live on a small-holding. My kids have watched all this with baffled amusement and treat me as if I am the irresponsible teenager. Moving country has also stopped that thing where your kids have kids and try to palm them off on you.
Empty nest syndrome is a myth. At least it was in my world. My children moved out multiplied and moved back, then left their offspring behind when they moved out again.
Please do not misunderstand I am all for them finding security and stability before moving my grands out of my home but yeah the whole empty nest thing just never happened here.
Things have changed for certain. They are great so far...with the "Empty Nest" thing. Well, Actually...I miss all the Hub-bub of kids running around. My time as a "Dad" with the young-in's was pretty short!
When you have children young ( had my 3rd at 27) you are on your own earlier .
This gives you time to do things that you didnt do as got married early.
I love hearing from my girls , they call asking for advice on cooking/boys and more.
I cant wait to see the 3 of them (18,22,25 ) and my 2 grandchildren at my middle daughters wedding in October.
Enjoy every minute while they are home as it goes fast,
They are now in 3 diferent states and I am the other side of the country, loved having them , took them to Britain. Europe etc, camping , swimming early in the mornings !!
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