New hubber and 1 published hub. Asking for critiques, comments!

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  1. almirah profile image58
    almirahposted 13 years ago

    Hi, I am a new player in Hubpage. I have just created and published my very first hub for you to see and give critiques, comments, etc. Anything constructive for me to make next hubs. All critiques and criticisms would be highly appreciated! Let me add, english is not my first tongue, but you know I am trying my best!

    Thanks...

  2. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 13 years ago

    This is basically an interesting article with a good approach. There are a number of grammatical and typing errors that should be detected and corrected prior to publication, e.g.:

    -burgain buy (bargain buy)
    -staffs on sale (stuff on sale)
    -not soo big (not so big)
    -let say (let's say)
    -their stuffs (their stuff)
    -et cetera

    The following is a weak paragraph, in my opinion. You really aren't saying anything other that what any person would already know:

    "But which one is a big shop and which one is not soo big? That is a good question, and I expect that. Really, this is a grey thing. But, after you walked around, I am sure that you will have some background about this. You can compare many shops you find, and classify whether a shop is bigger or smaller compared to other ones."

    See if you can rewrite that to make it more interesting.

    I recommend that you work harder on grammar, spelling and writing style. Although English is not your first language, I think your writing skills are such that your writing can become a lot clearer with some more work.

  3. almirah profile image58
    almirahposted 13 years ago

    Thank you very much for this. I will go back with your suggestions. Yes, this kind of constructive criticism will make me grow...

    1. educationleads profile image61
      educationleadsposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      The content is very put together spread it apart a bit. The paragraphs are to long. Put bullet points..makes people more interested..bold the lettering and have more titles..

  4. Kyriana profile image68
    Kyrianaposted 13 years ago

    This isn't about your hub but I would add a photo or something as your profile image and write a little biography to share so people get to know you.

    Your Amazon capsule about the Kindle books is really long. I didn't you if you intended for all of that information to show on your hub or not.

    About your hub, I was putting in most of my text in one capsule at first and now I break it up and add pictures or something to try to make it more interesting.

    If you want to break up a long section of text but keep it under the original title:

    1. Insert a new text capsule under your existing text.

    2. Cut/Paste to move the last part of your text down to that capsule but don't title it

    3. Insert a capsule for a picture, map, amazon or whatever.

    4. Double click to make that capsule half size and place it above the text capsule you just entered.

    5 Click reorder now in capsule ordering.

    Add your picture or whatever to that one (I don't title mine) and save

    It will look like you have a picture or poll or whatever part way down in your text to make it a little more interesting.

    Please keep in mind that I'm still fairly new and there are many smarter and wiser people than me here. Also there are lots of hubs about making your hubs better and other helpful topics along those lines.

 
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