Any suggestions!

1. 69

   Valeedposted 13 years ago

   What should a person do when he realizes the people who mean alot to him, don't really care about him. It hurts when after giving out so much we are left with nothing at the end. I continuously try to control myself but some how I just fail to do so. I have come to a point where I hate myself just because am unable to control my feelings. I don't want to be an emotional freak. I  don't know what to do, I am helpless. While typing this message I am shedding tears like anything, don't wanna be like this (

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2. 79

   kirstenblogposted 13 years ago

   You say that these people who mean a lot to you don't really care about you. In your shoes my first step is to evaluate this thought. Is this thought true? Do they genuinely not care about you?
   
   Without knowing the details of your situation I cannot say if they do or do not care about you. We can of course assume that your thought, that they don't care, is correct. If it is a correct assessment you might want to consider, is their care for you worth much? If you do a lot for these people, and care deeply for them and they cannot or will not give that care back is their opinion of you worth much?
   
   It is very tricky to help when the details are not known but I hope that I have got you thinking a little. There are a great many events in life that we have little to no control over. The control we have is over our thinking. What we think about this or that event (someone being unkind, uncaring, insensitive, whatever) is the one thing we have control over. Our thinking directly influences our emotion. If you can identify the thoughts that lead to sadness, anger, despair etc. you can evaluate them and change them, this will in turn change the emotion you experience.
   
   I had to learn to do this as a teen battling with depression. I think of it as putting my Spock hat on. I evaluate my thinking and ask if the reactionary thinking I have had is logical? If I think they don't like me or don't care, I have to ask myself if it is true? Just because I think so and so doesn't care doesn't make it true. If it is true, well should I care if so and so doesn't like me? What gives their opinion of me any importance?
   
   I don't know if these ramblings help or not but I hope they do

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3. 59

   Tumbaposted 13 years ago

   Your situation seems very known to me. It happens at times.It usually happens when people start taking your for granted. They start believing that you will be there with them no matter what, no matter how they treat you back.
   Then you really need to sit back and think "what's wrong?'.
   One golden tip is don't ever loose confidence in you, you are good. Don't see yourself from their eyes. You are as wonderful as always.
   Take a stand, and decide for yourself, your life. After all, life is too short to spend with tears.
   
   Smile and smile and smile... there are loads of other things to be taken care of... Enjoy Life... with or without them... !!

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   1. 69

      Valeedposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      They are stuck in my mind, whatever I do, where ever I am they are always in my mind. I hate their memories, can't get rid of them. I am a person who makes association very quickly, so they seems to be everywhere. soryr cant type more, thnks fr reply

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4. 69

   Valeedposted 13 years ago

   @Kirstenblog. Thanks for replying to my post. You have are very right that one should control his thinking to ultimately control the emotions. I have not made this statement (they don't care) on just emotions. I have given and cared alot for the ones I love so much but it's true that they have never returned the favor. Even after being ignored so many times, still I can't see tears in their eyes and will do anything to make them smile.
   I am a cancer patient and by this you can understand, what will be I expecting in return. I don't want anyone's sympathy but I do want they atleast ask me how am I? Am I died or live?
   People are so busy in their lives that they don't have enough time for a single text message. I am not those kinda guy who does not understands the problems that people have in their lives. I am aware that they must be having many problems but does that mean that they can't give a second out of their life. I wait months for a single message from them, literally months.
   I can't forget people, I can't leave anyone. These two are my weakness, I can't stop myself being hurted.

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