If you fall out of love with someone, was it ever really love?

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   perfectperceptionposted 14 years ago

   I hear people say, I fell out of love.  Does that mean the feeling they were experiencing was really love or just plain old strong infatuation?

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      Daniel Carterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      It was what it was at that time. My relationships have not lasted, but I truly loved the people at the time. I was married for 24 years. Things change. We change. I no longer believe that we were all meant to be together forever. Love changes. Accepting that it does is a part of growing and learning how to love more.
      
      At least for me it is.

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         skyskaterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Well, 24 years is quite a long time for a memory to fade, your mind may have gone through a lot of things, the feelings and the memory associated with it may have been locked out, but what about the heart? Is it possible that if you're together, just to refresh, the locked door will be opened again?

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      skyskaterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Yeah, this is a more serious question than most can realize. I don't truly think one can fall out of true love, but he/she may be able to release the thought of being together with the person, however deep inside, the love will still be there. Funny, I just realized this today.

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      Just Ask Susanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I believe that you can be in love with someone for years and if you grow apart, develop different interests and so on you can fall out of love with that person. Divorce lawyers thrive on this.

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         skyskaterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         hmmm.. does love necessarily thrive on our independent interests.. I have a feeling that interests might bring two people together but diversified interests will not necessarily cause them to 'fall out of love'???

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            Just Ask Susanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            I really think it can and does.

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               skyskaterposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Well, while I doubt it is because, before I met this girl, I wasn't interested in her kind of things, I am sure she's the one who made me interested in such things now, the same on her side. I somehow believe this has to do with a matter of their characters, there are dependent lovers and independent lovers.

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               EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Surely it depends on way in which the individual(s) concerned follow those interests!
               
               For example, say my other half becomes interested in coin collecting and I don't share his new-found enthusiasm - does that mean we're headed for separation?  No, of course not.  But if he spends all our joint income on buying coins, so that we can't afford basic necessities, or if he spends all his spare time with fellow coin enthusiasts and stops communicating with me, then it DOES become a problem and could well lead to separation.
               
               Then again you could also get a situation where one half of a couple starts subscribing to a new set of values that the other half doesn't share and even actively disagrees with.  One example could be a relationship between two atheists/agnostics, where one of them develops a new-found religious conviction.  Again, much probably depends on how the newly "religious" person follows those convictions and whether they respect their partner's right to abstain.

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      Stevennix2001posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Well to be fair, ALL RELATIONSHIPS start off on infatuation, as the whole love at first sight is pure romantic nonsense. What happens with people is there's a mutual attraction for one another (i.e. infatuation via physically, intellectually, emotionally or a combination of the three).  Then as the two lovers date each other for a certain amount of time, those same said feelings of mutual infatuation grows to become love.  Now the only problem is that as easy as it is to fall in love with someone, it's just as equally possible for people to fall out of love with each other. That's why relationships often require a lot of work, and it's not always easy to maintain, as most people have to get their heart broken various times, until they find the right person.

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   Ultimate Hubberposted 14 years ago

   The more you love someone, the more easily you get hurt by them. Selfish behavior of your loved ones can hurt you more than anyone else ever would be able to. So, I believe it is possible to fall out of love no matter how deeply you loved someone.

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