Getting past the In-Love Stage!

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   Cardisaposted 12 years ago

   What are your thoughts.
   
   To love as opposed to being in love. Do you think there is a difference? If so how do you define both.

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      kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      hmmmmmmm
      
      to love is a choice
      
      being in love is destiny
      
      ???????????

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         Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I kinda agree.
         
         When the 'in love' has worn off or gone sour, you choose to love as I did my husband to be, and that is why we are getting married.

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            kimberlyslyricsposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhooooooooooaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
            
            when?
            
            

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               Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               Haven't set the date yet, working on the house first. Maybe next June, that's what we are thinking.

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   Cagsilposted 12 years ago

   Being IN-love is just a state of being, at which time, you come to the conclusion that you would be willing to put your life on the line for that particular individual.
   
   Once you've accepted it, then you shall slip out of it and just love the person whole-heartedly.

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      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's what I think too. But many people think it ends there and sometimes when the "in love" phase wares off their relationship fail.

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   schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years ago

   Hi Cardisa,
   Long time since I've been in the forums! So..u ask
   
   "What are your thoughts.
   
   To love as opposed to being in love. Do you think there is a difference? If so how do you define both."
   
   
   Being in love can involved a lot of selfishness..It can be based on lust, and I feel can die off and either the fun goes or the relationship.
   
   To love: well, that is true. to not be selfish. love is patient love is kind love bears all things, to ACCEPT someone..
   to love I think should also involve the fun stuff too.
   
   IMO!

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      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Wonderfully said Schoolgirlforreal!
      
      Welcome back to Forums!

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         schoolgirlforrealposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         thanks

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   Disturbiaposted 12 years ago

   It's been my experience that the "In-Love" stage is the best part, everything else is just a lot of self-sacrafice.

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      Cardisaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Well actually I'll speak from experience. When I 'fell out of love' so to speak, my relationship felt like it would not make it. Sex became a chore.
      
      I made a decision to stop the pain and quarreling. We slowly regained each others respect and learned to accept each other. After a few months, we both realized that we did not want o be without each other. The effort on both parts to consciously cement our relationship payed off.
      
      Not only did we find each other by loving, accepting and trusting each other we actually fell in love again. Sex became better and more powerful but the greatest part is that even when we feel like we are not in love, we love each other non-the-less.

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         Disturbiaposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Cardisa, sex has never been a chore for me.  I always behave as if I'm in the "In-Love" stage because I'm happy there.  The problem is the losers that I fall in love with.  I fall in love with them, but they are either in love with my money or themselves.  You are talking about a real relationship with a real man.  I haven't found one of those yet.  I thought I had this last time, but after five years, countless hours spent with him in rehab, therapy and counseling, in the end, he turned out to be nothing more than an abusive lush with an internet porn addiction, a string of chat room girlfriends, and several ex-wives holding out their hands for child support money.  I left him with the business I financed, the sports car I bought him for his birthday, paid off all his back child support, and gave him approx $75,000 per year for every year we were together.  I'd say that was pretty fair considering all he ever gave me was countless black eyes, three broken ribs, a concusion, and a lot of heart ache.  And that's how it always goes.  I fall head over heels, give them everything they want or ask for and then get kicked in the butt for my trouble.
         
         For now, it's the "In-Love" part that I'm focused on.  I'm dating several gentlemen that I'm feeling very much "In-Love" with right now.  Once that starts to get stale, well there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

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