Arranged Marriage

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   The Demon Writerposted 12 years ago

   
   I've recently been involved in a debate with some of my peers about arranged marriages and the moral and ethical issues involved. At first I was of the opinion that arranged marriage is a suppression of peoples freedom. I believed it was out dated and wrong.
   Something that doesn't often happen when I involved in this sort of debate, the arguments of my peers and a little additional research, they changed my mind. I find myself actually open to the idea on the proviso that the participants are happy with the arrangements made.

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      klarawieckposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I've heard that in India you don't marry the girl you love, you love the girl you marry. I think it could work as long as the couple hasn't been exposed to the over-romanticized view of life.

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         The Demon Writerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         I think that everybody has a different view of love. Arranged marriages aside, I have never thought of love as something that should happen all at once and be all consuming like it is in movies. I think it is something you have to put a conscious effort into developing over time. At for least me anyway.

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            klarawieckposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            Yes, but we are taught since a very early age to dream about the romantic love. Kids read fairy tales with princesses and knights and true love's first kiss, and all that (beep). But if you haven't been raised that way, marriage could be seen as starting a new enterprise, a new job, a new career. But when those two people don't know each other well, it can be pretty scary, considering they don't even have a basis for friendship.

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               The Demon Writerposted 12 years agoin reply to this

               I agree. I think part of the reason divorce rates are so high in the western world is because we have this ridiculous notion of romance that nobody can really live up to.
               Like I said, I am more open to the idea of arranged marriage, but still not entirely for it. In some cases the bride and groom have opportunity to meet and get to know each other before getting thrown into marriage. The marriage is still arranged by the parents but the child does get to decide if they wish to marry the chosen partner or wait for the parents to find a more suitable match.

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               peace13posted 12 years agoin reply to this

               And still there is no compulsion to fall in love. Means, it seems that most of the times people keep searching for their love as it is a necessity. I think there are very less people who are in true love which is told in fairy tales or shown in movies.

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   Greekgeekposted 12 years ago

   I went through much the same process of assuming arranged marriages were bad and unfair, then discovering through anthropology classes that, hey, wait a minute, they seem to have about the same success rate as romantic marriages!
   
   Freedom to choose sounds better, but the problem is, the choice is usually made by young people in the throes of hormones, without enough life experiences to guess what kind of partner will be compatible longterm. Also, the dating rituals of western society are so artificial that they don't let us get to know the real person well. Forget dressing up and going out to dinner: how about making dinner and finding out who's willing to do the dishes! As you say, the "true love" myth means we often begin marriages with highly unrealistic expectations that are bound to be disappointed.
   
   I suspect that people entering into arranged marriages have no such illusions, and are focused on, "how are we going to make this work?"

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      aka-djposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Where's the "like" button when you need it?

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   coffeegginmyriceposted 12 years ago

   As many "Arranged Marriages" actually worked and still leading a happy union and a harmonious life to couples, I would give a thumbs up for the love that may have had developed overtime. In rare cases (as what I have seen in movies), two people who never laid eyes on each other before the initial meeting and introduction by both their families may fall into "love-at-first-sight" once they meet. At least in this kind of situation, there will be no blaming of one another or even tragedy could be avoided.
   
   But with due respect to other cultures and family practices, I'd say that "Love" will find its way whether arranged or not. It is truly great if the strange couple will give time a chance to make it work, but it would equally be a great sadness if it doesn't, for love is also bound to be fair, open and free.

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