Married at First Sight.....A new way to approach love and marriage

1. 73

   realtalk247posted 9 years ago

   What do you think about Married At First Sight.  Specialists (sexologist, spiritualist, psychologist, and sociologist) use matchmaking methods to match couples.  The couples have no contact prior to their wedding day.  The show documents the journey from marriage to everyday life among two strangers now husband and wife.  After spending weeks together the couples decide if they want to remain together or get a divorce. It's an interesting show but I think the ideology works and I predict in a world where love is all around individuals but difficult to obtain-it just might work.
   What are your thoughts?
   Would you do this?
   Would you recommend friends try this?
   Do you think there is room for arranged marriage as practiced in other cultures in the past in modern times?
   What do you think of the participants that enter into this arrangement?
   

   replyreport
   1. 89

      wildernessposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      I think it supports and extends that modern concept that marriage is not a commitment, but rather an experiment one can duck out of at will with no repercussions.  Which is a primary reason for so many single parent children.
      
      That the participants are required to get married before knowing their "spouse" absolutely trivializes the institution.

      replyreport
   2. 76

      jlparkposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      It frustrates me - even though I know the world's longest lasting marriage who met on their wedding day (Look up  (Radio Station) The Edge's Two Strangers and a Wedding from about 15yrs ago - they met at the altar, have 3 kids, and still married).
      
      Why are things like this - meeting on yr wedding day for a television show, or things like the Bachelor/Bachelorette where you're vying for the attention of a rich person...not love - okay, and cheered on, but gay marriage is protested? So two people who've been together 50yrs can't marry, but someone you've never met you can marry on the day.
      
      I also agree with wilderness - it trivialises the institution.

      replyreport
   3. 71

      dashingscorpioposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      No, I would never do this.
      
      You said: "The couples (have no contact) prior to their wedding day".
      I don't think I've ever purchased anything sight unseen.
      I can't imagine marrying someone I've never met in my life!
      
      Maybe I'm misunderstanding the concept of arranged marriages but I always thought the couple had in fact met prior to marriage and may have been chaperoned on a few dates. Oftentimes both families were familiar to one another in some way. Generally the parents know each other.
      
      With such high divorce rates people are desperate to find a "winning formula". The truth is (women) initiate 66% or 2/3rds of divorces in the U.S.
      
      It's been speculated that in previous generations where women had less independence and career opportunities many were likely to stay in "unhappy marriages" to maintain (financial) stability.
      
      Today more women are getting degrees and earning more money.
      The more "options" one has the less crap they're willing to put up with!
      
      Most of the countries where arranged marriages are a part of their culture still treat women like second class citizens compared to those in the U.S.
      
      The three leading causes of divorce in my opinion are:
      1. Choosing the wrong mate for oneself (this leads to "deal breakers")
      2. Got married for the wrong reasons
      (Circumstances dictated their choice to marry rather than being "in love")
      3. Grew apart/fell out of love (Stopped connecting emotionally, neglect)
      
      Arranged marriages would face the same obstacles. The only difference is maybe due to stigma, religion, inequality of women, or fear of starting over probably keeps them in unhappy/toxic marriages. Some people simply don't want to "bring shame" on their parents. They feel obligated.
      
      Anyone who believes life is a personal journey and you're responsible for your own happiness is not likely to (choose) to remain in a unhappy marriage. Loving yourself means doing your best to have the best.
      
      If a couple has made up their mind that (no matter what happens) throughout their marriage (including cheating, verbal/physical abuse, or lack of affection) they're not going to file for divorce because they don't believe in having "deal breakers" then they're "guaranteed" to have a marriage which lasts until death! (Now that's the secret!)
      
      However most healthy people do have boundaries or "deal breakers"!

      replyreport
2. 86

   Stacie Lposted 9 years ago

   It actually sounds like a very old idea; arranged marriages.
   Many past customs and cultures had a matchmaker or parents arrange the marriage of their children and some still do today.

   replyreport
3. 73

   realtalk247posted 9 years ago

   Years ago the expectations and thought process when it came to marriage for perhaps more realistic.  You wanted someone who "got you" and were less interested in others opinions about the person you love, with the exception of family expectations.  Having a team of experts to discuss your thoughts/needs regarding family, religion, character traits, and desires seem to be a fresh approach.  It's courageous to put things into the hands of the experts and give it a try. While I realize this is not for everyone, it beats perfectly good spirited souls living life without a partner.

   replyreport