Would You Call Him A Real Friend?

1. 59

   willyoumarrymeposted 14 years ago

   Paul ask to borrow my lawn mower to cut his grass, after cutting his grass, he cuts his neighbor's grass. My grass needed cutting also, but he didn't cut it, just returns the lawn mower without putting more gas in it and says "Thank You" another thing happened: I was out of work for 5 months, not once did he ask; Is there anything I can do to help you during this difficult time? But he ask another person the question right in front of me.
   
   Am I wrong in thinking he is not a "TRUE FRIEND"

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   1. 61

      jonwenbergposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      maybe he just takes for granted that you will consider him enough of a friend to ask for what you need instead of waiting for him to volunteer.

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      1. 59

         willyoumarrymeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Your probably right.....I just wasn't raised like that to take people for granted and I would never say I'm a friend and don't think enough of the person to ask if they need help when they are having a hard time. I'm thinking that's just common courtesy

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   2. 55

      andromidaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hello willyoumarryme.Maybe he loves you a lot.Maybe he is doing everything intentionally.He is your true friend,there is no doubt about it.I won't even wonder if he ask someone willyoumarryme in front of you.

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      1. 59

         willyoumarrymeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I don't think so.....(LOL)

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            andromidaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            You mean he will say you willyoumarryme.

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   3. 67

      blondepoetposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      He should have mowed your grass too, maybe he just wanted to see you mow yours in your bikini.

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         andromidaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Absolutely poet.thanks.

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   4. 59

      Pamda Manposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      That would need to see what is your definition of a true friend.
      
      If someone borrows something to you, you lend it to him because you want to. If you lend it to him for wanting something back from him, then there's no meaning.

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   5. 60

      BODYandSOULposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think you have treated Paul in a special way if not it wouldn't matter to you. Paul was wrong about that not filling some gas in your mower after using it, unless he feels that you are so close that what's yours is his as well, but then if that's the case then he would have cared to ask if you're ok during the lowest point in your life.

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   6. 82

      dohn121posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      In my opinion, he gets the ax:
      
      You were considerate enough to lend him your lawnmower.
      
      He wasn't considerate enough to either put gas back in your tank or offer to cut your grass. 
      
      To be honest, I'm surprised he brought back your lawn mower.  People like this tend to borrow things and then become conveniently senile when it comes to returning what they borrowed.
      
      Analysis: Cut him off until he makes amends.

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      1. 59

         goodfriendiamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Wait a minute who was actually in the wrong? So your saying that because she gave out of the kindness of her heart, that he should be able to read her mind, That what she actually meant was yea if you mow mine, then you can borrow it. Well then I guess she didn't do it out of the kindness of her heart after all. And we wonder why we have war.

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         1. 82

            dohn121posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            No, please don't blow this out of proportion.  This so-called friend did not exhibit common courtesy.  It's simply common courtesy in this particular situation for him to at least OFFER to either mow her lawn or REPLACE the gas he used.  If and when he does, she would then have the opportunity to either turn him down or accept his offer.  Sure it's unspoken, but it's exhibits only proper manners for him to do so...This guy didn't OFFER ANYTHING to her.  I wonder if he even thanked her.

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            1. 59

               goodfriendiamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Well for starters if you would have read my original post then maybe you would have had a clue. good day.

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   7. 0

      Madame Xposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      No - not a true friend. Real friends are ALWAYS concerned for your well being, no matter how informal you are. Tell him how you feel and if he balks, dump the bum.

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   8. 60

      Harvey Stelmanposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You're joking, right!

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2. 59

   goodfriendiamposted 14 years ago

   It would have been nice if he filled up the mower with gas, and asked if he could borrow it to mow grass for the neighbor and not just take advantage of your friendship. But the part about him  not cutting yours is your own mistake, you should have asked if if he would. Because what you are saying is more or less the only reason you allowed him to use it in the first place was if he paid you back in some way. hope this helps

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   1. 59

      willyoumarrymeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      your right I should have said you can borrow the mower if you cut my lawn. I was thinking that should have been a given, obviously I was wrong.

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      1. 59

         goodfriendiamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         So what is this hub again, are you seeking honesty or sympathy?

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      2. 60

         fishmoxposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Then the two of you may not be operating on the same wave length.
         
         As for me, I WILL cut your lawn, you don't have to ask, hey, it's your lawn mower and your gas.  As for the gas, it would have been more polite and friend-like to bring my own gas with me.  Suppose you borrow his car and take it for a hundred mile drive and return it without loading it with gas ?
         Is he going to think, "oh well, that's what friends are for" ?

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3. 62

   Lisa HWposted 14 years ago

   I think you could be a little too quick to think that way.  Sometimes when people really feel like close friends they're less "formal" than they may be with someone they see as "just as neighbor".  They may worry more about making sure they do something like refill a lawnmower gas with someone they don't feel so close to.  Maybe he thinks you don't mind.  Maybe he thinks he'll do something for you or has done things for you.  Maybe he just didn't think.  Offering someone else help in front of is what people do.  Again, if he feels you're really a close friend he'll assume you understand.   On the other hand, if he never shows up unless he needs/wants something, then he's not likely a true friend.

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   1. 59

      willyoumarrymeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Maybe he just didn't think is right! Thank you so much for your response

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4. 62

   Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

   I'm getting the impression, Paul is just your neighbour and doesn't feel obliged to treat you as a real friend (even though some do). Try not to dwell on it and get on with things.  If however, you and Paul are close friends then you could ask him sometime why he behaved that way.
   
   Wishing you good luck in finding a new job.

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5. 40

   Tyson Ellisposted 14 years ago

   Sounds more like a neighbor than a friend. If he is your friend, it seems maybe he does take you for granted. So I guess I'm not really saying anything new here, only reiterating what others have said.

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6. 60

   CEN7777posted 14 years ago

   No, I do not think he is a true friend. otherwise he should have asked you if yo need any help when you are out. Infact he shou;d have filled gas in machine and must have cleaned your lawn first as courtesy.

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7. 0

   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   I have seen only one side of this coin, and then only in part.

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8. 58

   Dame Scribeposted 14 years ago

   I borrow anything from anybody for free like the lawnmower (I ask for the weedwacker ) I always return it in condition that I borrowed it. it is jus common courtesy and he showed none.

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9. 0

   dennisemattposted 14 years ago

   it seems as tho there are 2 issues here. One, is he a friend? yould have to figure that on out. I am in no way "true friends" just becuase someone is my neighbor.
   Two, about the mower...he should have replaced the gas he used, nothing more.BUT that is just common courtesy, not really anuthgin to do with friendship. SURE, having him mow for you would be nice, but firend/neighbor/enemy....cant really read yor mind.
   If you decide to be helpful to someone should not be based on what you think you will get back.

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   1. 59

      goodfriendiamposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      yea, you go GF, what she said.

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   2. 0

      Madame Xposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I don't think she lent the mower based on what she would get back, but just out of kindness. She then states she's been out of work for 5 months and this guy doesn't replace the gas. Then, he asks another person -right in front of her- if they need anything. Doesn't sound like a friend to me.

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10. 59

    janni321posted 14 years ago

    you can't call him friend because he has not any feelings of friendship for you. You must treat him as common people not as a friend

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