I'd like feedback on my Hub: Phantom waters of the Lake Cerknica

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   KsenijaZposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my Hub Phantom waters of the Lake Cerknica (must be signed in to view). What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 97

      theraggededgeposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I love your photos. Really good. I can't see an awful lot wrong with your hub.
      
      Remove all the links. HP is getting weird about links so take them out. You don't want to send people away from your article to Wikipedia. If they are curious about the things you mention, they can go look them up. Your hub should stand as a complete article, the kind you'd find in a print travel magazine.
      
      Make sure you run your text through a grammar checker, such as Grammarly (it's free and online, so only takes a few minutes). The month of May always starts with the capital letter M, and July with a capital J.
      
      Be nitpicky about punctuation... "Slovenia is known for it's..." Should be "Slovenia is known for its..." No apostrophe in the possessive 'its', only in the contracted 'it is'.
      
      Make sure your title and subheadings are in Title Case. Capitalise 'Waters' in the title for a start.
      
      Try those things and see if it will pass.

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      1. 82

         KsenijaZposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you very much! Very clear and useful information. Will try all of these.

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   2. 88

      quotationsposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      There are some grammatical errors. For example:
      
      
      
      The sentence itself is awkward and somewhat difficult to understand. In addition, there are several grammatical and other errors. For example, I assume you mean that the field is located (or you could say sunk) benath (not between) the permeable ground.

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      1. 82

         KsenijaZposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for your read!
         Yes, the hub is strangely written, I read and read and really don't know how to translate this 'technical' words, words that are used in karst terminology, in English. What I really need is to sit down with a friend of mine and proofread with her. Thank you again!

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         1. 86

            Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            I don't think there is any problem with the technical words, they are fine. If you'd like to give your readers a link so they can understand them better, then I suggest you find a proper geological website and provide ONE link to it.  Your Hub will look more professional if you link to a more professional resource, not Wikipedia.
            
            It's your sentence construction that is the problem I think, it's a bit strange and betraying the fact that English isn't your first language.  For instance:
            
            "About Lake Cerknica has been written in history more than any of the karst field and lake in the world "
            
            A native speaker would never put the words in that order.  We would say, "Historically, more has been written about Lake Cerknica than any other karst field or lake in the world"
            
            If you're able to sit with an English speaker and fix up your word order, the Hub should be fine.

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   3. 61

      TessSchlesingerposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I found the flow of language discouraging to read. Your word order is out of sync, plus your style of writing needs to be improved. That said, I don't think that this makes it a bad hub in terms of HP. I noted that several of your hubs have been selected for niche sites, so it's acceptable.

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      1. 82

         KsenijaZposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for your comment. Yes, I found it difficult to read also. It was my first hub, I was just rearranging pictures of Lake Cerknica when the idea popped up in my head, but I wasn't really ready and I didn't really put all my effort into it. Was a bad start I guess. I will work on it.

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2. 82

   KsenijaZposted 7 years ago

   Thank you! Yes, it's been some 8 years that I haven't really used the English language and I find it quite difficult to translate some of the sentences. I will ask a friend of my to go through the hub with me to find my biggest weak points, so I can improve my knowledge.
   Thanx again!

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3. 90

   mactaversposted 7 years ago

   To write well it takes many re-writes.

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   1. 82

      KsenijaZposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      
      Thank you, I will do my best, I won't quit. I want to improve.

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