What is the funniest thing your kid ever said?

1. 78

   elisabethkcmoposted 14 years ago

   What is the funniest thing your kid ever said?

   report
2. 67

   PhilD41posted 14 years ago

   I think it would be a toss up between the two quotes below.  Then again, he just turned three this week so he has a lot of time to do better.
   
   1 - My tummy is hungry and it’s reaching out for a hug.
   
   2 - (after discussing rules for using his new scissors he came up with this addition) Bad Scissor Rules: Don’t cut off Mama’s arms and legs. Then you’d have to use your mouth to get stuff...like balloons and stickers.

   report
3. 88

   mistyhorizon2003posted 14 years ago

   I haven't got children, but when I was a child myself I wrote a letter to God and asked my Mum where I should send it. My Mum told me God was in my heart, so I paused for a second and asked, "Should I swallow it?".
   
   My Sister used to go to a Catholic Convent infant school, (although we are not Catholic). The Nuns had strong Irish accents. One day she came home from school and told my Mum that the school was collecting donations for the "baby elephants". Mum found this rather an unusual request, so went to the school and spoke to Sister Mary Rita who had apparently told the class about this collection. As Mum said, she had no problem with donating for baby elephants, but found it a strange charity for a convent to be collecting for. Sister Mary Rita looked puzzled too, and then her face broke into a big smile as she realised the mistake. What she had actually said was that they were collecting for the "baby orphans", but her Irish accent to a young child must have sounded like "baby elephants".

   report
4. 60

   lkeippposted 14 years ago

   Dinosaurs died of stinkdom, she told me when she was four.

   report
5. 60

   MomintheMiddleposted 14 years ago

   One day when I thought I heard my husband coming in the door, I yelled out of the bedroom to my 7 year old son "Is that daddy coming in?" He yelled back, somewhat smart-alecky, "No, mom - you're hearing things!"
   I thought, hmm. I said "Well, I guess I am, I could have sworn I heard his keys."
   He said "Well, I blame global warming!"

   report
6. 91

   Susana Sposted 14 years ago

   "Mum, why is that man so smelly?"
   Said really loudly on the bus, with the smelly man sitting two rows in front of us.

   report
7. 0

   Miss Nomiposted 14 years ago

   It wasn't so funny at the time, but now I can chuckle about it...
   
   I was trying to decide what to wear and I commented, as I was looking at myself in the mirror, that the dress I was wearing made me look fat - to which my son replied, "No mom, it's your fat that makes you look fat."  Had he not looked so genuinely innocent, I would have grounded him!

   report
8. 60

   Massage09posted 14 years ago

   I was driving my 3 year old son home one day and he kept asking me the same thing over and over (like 3 or 4 times).  I couldn't answer him right away because I was trying to concentrate on the traffic at the moment, it was a construction zone and I didn't want to run over anyone.  Finally I said "Ok Evan, I heard you like 12 times already, give me a minute and I'll answer you."  I heard silence for a minute then an exasperated reply of "Mom, stop exaggerating, I only asked you the question 3 times."  I laughed so hard I almost did run over someone.

   report
9. 67

   Zollstockposted 14 years ago

   This morning's "nugget" uttered by my two-year old comes to mind. He sat on my lap, grinned, gave me a two-handed push in the chest (yes, he was aiming specifically) and exclaimed: "Mama, I just pushed your buttons."
   
   I guess he was. Wonder where he gets it?

   report
10. 0

    Big Shotposted 14 years ago

    In early December several years ago when my now 14 year old daughter was only 5, during a discussion about Christmas coming soon she said to me..."Daddy, it's almost Christmas...that means you shouldn't say 'shit' anymore!"

    report
11. 78

    elisabethkcmoposted 14 years ago

    ok, I'm answering my own question...
    one evening, sitting on the bed talking with my then 3 yr-old daughter..
    She gave me a very serious look and said:
    "mommy, you and me are both girls"
    and I said "yes, thats right"
    and then she said. "and we both got buh-ginas"
    I almost fell on the floor.

    report
12. 40

    poketo secretposted 14 years ago

    my daughter used to say she was going to be a brain surgeon i thought it was cute and a little funny i really loved the was she would think like this.although a few people would tell me that i should not encourage her to have such hi expectations.....well she is now 26year's young and is a nurse and i still love the way she thinks!!!!  kids are little miracles with lots of treasures to offer us

    report
13. 60

    Valerie Fposted 14 years ago

    "Cookies are good for me. They make me sweet."
    "I can only find mix-matched socks."
    
    And when my kids and their friends were talking about how tough their dads were, "My mommy eats raw fish and plays with swords."
    
    Then there was the first time I took my son to the zoo when he was eleven months old. He pointed at nearly every animal, calling them "dog." When we got to the primate house, however, he was pretty sure those animals weren't dogs. "Dat?" he asked, pointing to the monkeys.
    
    "Monkeys," I said slowly, hoping he'd learn a new word.
    
    "Oh," he said, now convinced that they really weren't dogs. Then he pointed at them and said, "Cat!"

    report
14. 61

    Paul Marshallposted 14 years ago

    My 4 year old son a few days ago saying in that lovely clear voice that they have at that age.
    
    "Look dad, that man needs a belt because his pants are falling way down, see, I can see almost all of his underpants. He looks really silly"
    
    This about a young kid of about 15-16 ish that was following what seems to be a strange fashion trend. I might add that some of the other people on the station platform cracked up laughing & the kid turned bright red.

    report
15. 60

    Chrissy Says...posted 14 years ago

    I don't have any children of my own, but 1 neice and 3 nephews and a much younger sister by 17 years...I've had plenty of funny moments. This wasn't so funny at the time, but it was a great lesson learned: "Kids are sponges and catch on quite quickly...Especially when it's something they're not supposed to learn."
    
    My neice, just 2 at the time and now forming complete sentences was always enthralled with learning new words and using them. Well, being as sneaky as she is and quite clever, she'd pick up words not meant to be repeated. It was around Christmas time and she had a doctors appointment. The office was all decked out in Christmas gear with snowflakes, fake snow, even a giant, stuffed snowman sitting at the entrace to the exam rooms. She was chatty as usual, holding her Mom's hand as she reached the doorway. Just before entering the hall she stopped mid-sentence, looked the stuffed animal right in the face and let out a hearty, "Hi, Bitch!" Needless to say a very stunned, embarassed Mom and Auntie let out a very subdued chuckle and changed the subject. I wanted to die...

    report
16. 60

    bdr173posted 14 years ago

    When my daughter was 4 she came home from preschool and said "mommy, what is sex?" Of course, I was blown away and trying think of what to say. So I said, "oh thats just when people kiss and hug." So she responded, "Does that mean me and you have sex??" Geez!!!

    report