Does anyone have tips for a good marriage?

1. 61

   Bluestemposted 14 years ago

   Does anyone have tips for a good marriage?
   
   I have recently gotten engaged. I am looking forward to marriage, but I am also afraid. My parents divorced when I was eight years old and it was violent and nasty. How do I help nurture a lasting relationship?

   replyreport
2. 68

   Hmrjmr1posted 14 years ago

   Listen Louder and talk softer with your huny. Learn what you expect from each other and appreciate all you do for each other. Take joy in it you are each others helpmates in life. Be a good one.

   replyreport
3. 58

   ladyauthorsldposted 14 years ago

   It's always difficult to base what a successful marriage can be like, given the examples that you had growing up. I'm sorry for your negative experiences!
   
   I have been married 11 years, and there have been good and bad times. The major things to remember are:
   
   1. Respect each other. If you don't have this, don't even get married. If there is violence in the dating stage, I recommend ending that asap!
   
   2. Love is not just a feeling. It is also a verb. Sacrifice is key!
   
   3. It's not all about you anymore. Certainly you can pursue your own goals, but think of them for the couple, not just for yourself.
   
   4. Honesty. I can't repeat this enough. Communication is absolutely key in any relationship.
   
   I hope these help you out. Take time to discuss things with your fiance. Don't leave anything out. Politics, religion, children, goals, life dreams. Talk about everything!
   Always remember too, be friends with your fiance. Sex and looks fade, but friendships last a lifetime.

   replyreport
4. 59

   mcdade2008posted 14 years ago

   Communication and acceptance, when you get married it is for better or worse and when problems arise thats when you have to remind yourselves to be honest with each other and accept each other flaws and all.

   replyreport
5. 57

   lindameo2posted 14 years ago

   I would say that giving each other space but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself is one good start. Also be a good listener and if he/she is not a talker then learn to ask questions, in a calm voice, to help get to the problem. Sometimes there is an underlying problem to their anger. Most of all good luck.

   replyreport
6. 67

   hublimposted 14 years ago

   The first thing I would say is to ignore the fact your parents got divorced.
   
   Your relationship with your fiancé is unique and is no way destined to follow the path of another couple, like your parents.
   
   I like to focus on the little things that make you love someone. What is it about your partner that makes you love her? It may be their laugh, their smile, what they like or what they are afraid of. It’s hard to define what makes a successful relationship because they are all unique. What works for one will not work for all.
   
   I’ve been married for just over a year now, it’s flown in.
   
   I found that people perceptions of you when you are married change, I didn’t see a big change in either myself or my wife after being married.
   
   I guess you should just follow your heart; you really are the only person who knows what’s best for you (and your relationship).

   replyreport
7. 61

   GNelsonposted 14 years ago

   You eat every day.  One of you better know how to cook.

   replyreport
8. 57

   anisettaposted 14 years ago

   Do you really want to get married? Have you reflected and tried to find the source of your fear? Is it the traumatic experience of your childhood? Is it the fear of following the same path that caused you sadness?
   
   I know that for many peolpe marriage is an enterprise, for other people marriage is a business transaction, and yet for others is a true call of love for one another. I think the later has the best chance of everlasting the test of time.
   
   What do we do when we obtain the best results from the tasks we take on, whether those tasks are for work, the community, our home, our family , our careers, or our friendships? We try our best to be authentic, to be ourselves, to be honest, to be polite, to be considering, to be understanding, to be accepting of others, to be humble, and to take into consideration that our freedom ends where the boundaries of others start.
   
   I have yet to discover a journey of tips in terms of marriage, but I can say that this far, being able to acknowledge, appreciate, adore, revere, and let my spouse know how special, sacred, and important our marriage is takes us both on a higher path to a journey of happiness during the good times, and endurance during the bad times.

   replyreport
9. 61

   PinkWeddingDresseposted 14 years ago

   I have made this hub for you: 10 Tips for a Good Marriage
   http://hubpages.com/hub/10-Tips-for-a-Good-Marriage

   replyreport
10. 60

    nlusianielliottposted 14 years ago

    http://hubpages.com/hub/musings-on-marriage

    replyreport
11. 60

    fyxerposted 14 years ago

    a good marriage is not an overnight thing it takes time and a lot of work a lot of giving of yourself.

    replyreport
12. 59

    Star22posted 14 years ago

    First, work at any issue you have with much patience and love. Never give up. Also, the Bible has the best advice that most people are not able to give you.

    replyreport
13. 80

    daledad8posted 14 years ago

    Read hubs by daledad8 there are quite a few about love and relationships that if heeded, will be very beneficial!

    replyreport
14. 0

    theawwwbutmumposted 14 years ago

    Remember the four human needs - to be loved, trusted, valued and understood.  Being divorced and blessed with the gift of hindsight and a sense of humor I realise these needs must be meet, consistantly, and when you learn to laugh together through the journey - joy & happiness result

    replyreport
15. 59

    lanealaneaposted 13 years ago

    Marriage is 100% what you make of it every day and every night. You struggle to form the team to communicate your needs to one another at times and you will go round and round at times until you come to a compromise but let me say this to you, marriage is absolutely amazing. Talk about filling your life up with everything you want in it and everything that your wife wants in it. Go everywhere you both want to go and play together in every way that you can. Make sure you and your wife soon to be have the same attitude about life and living and you will be successful. All of those little things fall into place. Regardless of past dysfunction you have expierenced, the thing that will matter to you most is the new life and new world you are about to be part of. Make it awsome, discover new things with eachother, work everything that you do as a team and you will succeed. You have to want to be happy. Trust me. I can tell you that I really didnt know too much before I was married and almost 9 years later working 7 days a week together day and night, all leisure time and travel time together. Never apart, never sick of eachother. So, if you as me for a tip, I say, if you are looking to be happy, you are more then able to create your happiness together, wising you a happy marriage to come.

    replyreport
16. 68

    wandererhposted 13 years ago

    Many marriages end up on the rocks because one or both parties are not prepared for the reality that is married life. A successful courtship and romance does not in any way equal a successful marriage. A successful marriage involves far more than... read more

    replyreport
17. 63

    ThunderKeysposted 13 years ago

    2 Tips.
    
    1. Learn how to effectively listen for, express and meet core relationship needs.
    
    2. Spiritualize your marriage- connect with our Creator and a community of like mind.

    replyreport
18. 77

    Mr Niceposted 13 years ago

    
    
    ~A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.~
    
    "We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness." - Ellen Goodman
    
    Important things to consider in happy marriage are giving, taking, forgiveness and gratefulness. In reality marriage requires a lot of compromises. Don't worry and I wish you lots of good luck.

    replyreport
19. 60

    hottopicsposted 12 years ago

    If you want a lasting relationship Do not get married. I do not know why but people change after getting married

    replyreport
20. 61

    Weldon Jewellersposted 12 years ago

    Let her know from the start who's the boss. I did this with my wife the day we married.
    
    I looked her straight in the eye and told her "you're the boss"

    replyreport
21. 60

    emoffittposted 12 years ago

    In my experience I have learned that like others are saying communication is key.  I am in my second marriage (my first husband died, no divorce)  and I learned from the first.  I don't nag in difficult times.  If my husband was to lose his job right now I would say " Ok baby, let's look at what went wrong and what we need to do to fix it."  And if nothing else I say " ok Baby, don't worry.  I will ask for more hours at work until you find a new one."  Support your spouse in any way you can.  Nagging doesn't help and it normally makes things worse.  When you have a hard time, sit down and discuss different options to find a solution to a problem.

    replyreport
22. 40

    Borsiaposted 12 years ago

    1. Stay single
    2. If you are both working keep completely separate finances
    3. Have common interests outside of the home other than child related activities.
    4, If you have children consider selling them
    5. If you can't get a good price for the children back each other up on decisions regarding what they are allowed to do.
    6. 7. 8. maintain a good sex life and don't try to use sex as a bargaining tool.
    9. Admit when you are wrong.

    replyreport