How do I regain trust for my boyfriend of four years?

1. 59

   englishgeekposted 14 years ago

   How do I regain trust for my boyfriend of four years?
   
   We have been together 4 years since high school and are now in college. A while ago [2yrs] he cheated on me, and I did so in return to spite him. He never stoppped talking to the 'other woman' and I finally left him because his ways weren't changing. 4 months later he came back to me and said he would like to date me/give him a 'trial period' to see for myself if he had changed. I did so for 3 months and saw his change. But now my trust is not 100% and I want to get there.I look through his phone,but now there is a password.I want to trust and stop looking through his things,but how?

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2. 61

   Runs With Spiritsposted 14 years ago

   Your only real option is to consider the following questions: Do you trust him enough to stop spying on him and move forward in the relationship without hanging on to the past (this means letting go of what happened and accepting the lessons you learned so they do not repeat themselves), or do you feel incapable of ever again trusting him completely and know that you'll feel insecure and frightened of what he might be doing for the rest of your life as a couple?
   
   If your answer is the latter, pursuing the relationship is a futile endeavor, and you're probably better off ending the relationship immediately. A relationship without trust is no relationship at all.

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3. 59

   englishgeekposted 14 years ago

   That was great advice Runs with Spirits, it really made me put some thought into this. Thank You

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4. 61

   Ladybythelake55posted 13 years ago

   You never learn to trust anyone a 100% this is what my late father told me way back when I was growing up. Trust is something to gain and if someone blows it  you may never be able to trust him again. Two wrongs don't make a right and just because your boyfriend cheated on you did not make it right for you to cheat on him. Take the higher road- learn to forgive but you may never forget what he did to you.

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5. 61

   Mrs. J. B.posted 13 years ago

   FORGET IT............. You will never fully trust him again. Call it quits which you should have done the moment you found out he was cheating on you. Spend time by yourself and with your friends having fun.

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6. 0

   blake4dposted 12 years ago

   You either trust me again or you doin't, there is not regaining. Thatis often just a word for justifying your lack of trust.

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