"You are not Mine!"

1. 61

   Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

   Is it justified to ever disown a child?
   
   Some parents disown their kids on the basis of turning Gay, marrying outside culture/religion, a terrible argument and other reasons.
   
   Do you sort of understand their point of view?

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      Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Not really.
      I have known it to happen though. The girl in question was heartbroken for years ,even after there was re-conciliation.
      
      Just seems so selfish to me.

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   2. 0

      fierycjposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      No. In my opinion, there's never a justifiable reason to disown your kid. Your blood runs thru them. That ought to count for everything.

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      rsmalloryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      No, I do not think it is justified and no, I do not understand their point of view.

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   4. 67

      emievilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I would never disown my child. But there may be times when it would seem that I would forsake him / her if I feel that is the only way to straighten him / her out from his / her mistakes (not differences of opinions).
      
      I think that parents who disown their children are kind of selfish. Their child is not perfect (and I doubt that they were when they were younger) and disowning one's child is like saying "I'm suffering so you might as well suffer, too!" Besides, parents who do this are like condemning their children (and themselves although they usually die earlier so they kind of escape from the "condemnation") to a lifetime of regrets and negative feelings. It's a heavy burden to place on a child the parents profess to love.

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   cindyvineposted 14 years ago

   I agree with Fiery.  Whateve they do, they are your flesh and blood, the seed from your loins etc etc.

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3. 59

   Colebabieposted 14 years ago

   Only in extreme cases would it be justified to me. Disowning a child because of a personal decision that they make in their life is wrong.

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      Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Extreme like? (just curious)

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      1. 59

         Colebabieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I'm not sure. I suppose in cases where something unforgivable is done, I'm not saying changing religions, or admitting one's sexual orientation. But in an extreme case where maybe homicide is involved? Does that make sense? Without putting it too harshly?

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            megs78posted 14 years agoin reply to this

            yes that makes sense.  Geez, doesn't anyone watch Oprah? There have been children who killed their parents.  I think that would qualify as extreme.  I think I could forgive a child of mine who plotted to kill me but I'm not sure I'd bring him back into the fold comfortably. 

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            1. 67

               emievilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Yes, and parents who kill their children. I just want to add on the extreme - chronic drug addiction resulting to physical harm (or even murder) to any member of my family will definitely qualify as an extreme case and will make me want to think about permanently disowning my child - offender.

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            Eaglekiwiposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Yea kinda ,lol, no I see where ya comin from

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4. 0

   dennisemattposted 14 years ago

   My parents disowned me for religious reason. It was unspeakably painful. I can never imagine a single thing to make me do this to my children. My father has since passed away, and my mother is not as strict as she once was. She will now speak to me, as long as she knows no one from the church will find out. I tried to take some comfort out of the fact that they truly believed they were doing the one thing that would save my eternal soul. I believe they were wrong, but I know they thought they were saving me. So, to answer your question, Yes, I could sort of see their point, even if I disagreed with it. AND NO, I will never disown my children.

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5. 59

   megs78posted 14 years ago

   well, I suppose if one of my children was trying to murder me I would have to disown them.   That would probably be the only reason I could ever disown my child.  Otherwise, my children could never do anything, be anything, or say anything that would make me disown them...never!

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6. 0

   fierycjposted 14 years ago

   Disowning your kid means squat. Its not like divorce, which works. They remain your kid, hate em, love em, ignore em, whichever, whatever, however. They remain yours. its blood - the ties are everlasting.

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7. 0

   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   I think my only justification would be if my child was like a Ted Bundy, Charles Manson or worse. I have a grandson who is gay and the race or religion thing has no bearing with me. I have used tough love with my middle son for drug abuse and that is difficult, it works too for some.

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   1. 0

      dennisemattposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      tough love is not disowning. (I suppose, tho, to the parent it seems that way. wich is why I say I can see thier point. I know my parents still loved me in the best way they could)...but anyway.. even if my kid tried to kill me, they would be my child. I would be a little scared of them, or maybe alot scared.... but in my expierence, wich is limited,(but I do personally know a kid who tried to kill their mother) a kid who tried to kill their parents has a reason.....I stick to my previous point, there is NOTHING my children could do to make me force them to endure the horrid pain and isolation being disowned causes. yet, I do forgive my parents.

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8. 61

   Lady_Eposted 14 years ago

   Thanks for all your interesting comments Guys.
   
   Dennise, Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad but so glad you are in touch with your Mum.
   Best wishes, E

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   1. 0

      dennisemattposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you. it's a long story. But dont be sorry about my dad. I miss him, sure, but hes better now. does that make sense? Im guessing, to you, it does, 

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9. 63

   Mishaposted 14 years ago

   No, never.

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10. 69

    wesleycoxposted 14 years ago

    Based on the OP I would or could never disown either of my daughters.  Sure kids may make you upset but like CJ said they are blood, your offspring.  That makes that love an unconditional one.
    
    Besides if they did something bad I would assume it was my fault and not entirely theirs, then institute a corrections.

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11. 60

    Davinagirl3posted 14 years ago

    My parents had to stop communication with my older brother when he refused to get help for his drug addiction.  He abused my mother when she was pregnant with my younger brother.  He is a career criminal and stole from them.  They had no other option but to stop communication with him.  My parents never told him he wasn't their son, or formally "disowned" him.  It was difficult for everone involved.

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